Ruin A Wish

[Boldek]

wish granted, but your powers came too quickly and your computer disk got roasted.

I wish that I would be able to fly.

[Drakefriend]

Granted, but it is very draining to grow your giant wings, the muscles to for the wings, the musles to move with the extra body parts,... and then to actually take off...

I wish to take over the WORLD!

[Boldek]

wish granted, but as soon as you conquered it, all the countries rebelled, and you are deposed.


I wish my wing muscles would develop better.

[dipseydoodle]

Granted, but your wings grow to heavy to fly.

I wish to take over Irdiya.

[Mountain_King]

Granted, but the extra sun you ordered crushed you.

I wish for... an... (Ooh! I know!) An Inator.

[Lalindo]

Granted, but it's out of order and turns anything that looks at it into stone.

I wish for the ability to draw well.

[Iris]

Granted, but you never get a stable job, and starve to death in middle of the greatest economic crisis of all time.

I wish to get a modern and powerful Mac computer for free, in mint condition, without affecting in any way whatsoever the current state and conditions of my working computers and other material possessions; without risking my career or job at all and without causing any other unwanted side-effects other than the possibility of ceasing to use Linux, which is pretty unlikely and would not affect my current projects a lot since Mac OS X is Unix-based; and I mean it, no unwanted side-effects.

[Alarantalara]

Granted.
Two weeks later, Apple announces that they're dropping OS X in favour of iOS. All future development for the Macintosh must be done on Windows. Apple developers everywhere flock to the platform, leaving you with a suddenly out of date operating system. When a serious security flaw is found in OS X, Apple doesn't fix it, since they've dropped support for your OS already. You're left with a powerful, modern computer that you don't dare use and eventually install Linux on it to get around the security problems. However, Apple's firmware causes the graphics card to have a different API and is thus unsupported by Linux or any other operating system. No one is able to reverse engineer the differences because Apple's hardware encryption works perfectly. Eventually, you use it as a headless file server while cursing the time you wasted trying to get it to work.

I wish for a 12 quart copper bowl.

[Lalindo]

Granted, but it came from an ancient temple, and the sect of priests to whom it belonged are still around, they notice you buying it, and place a curse on you. With this curse, you are no longer able to communicate with anyone who likes you (only people who dislike you), all of your hair falls out, and every time you use the bowl (whether for drinking out of, storage, or otherwise), the contents of it disappear. You can't get rid of the bowl (because no one you dislike will take it, and you can't communicate with anyone who you like), you lose your job (due to lack of communication) and you have to live with the curse until you die, alone and hungry, on a park bench.

I wish for an uncursed galleon, (weatherproof, crashproof, and shielded from any sort of hostile intentions from other people) complete with uncursed and friendly crew and a few friends to share it wish [and none of this costs any money].

[Mountain_King]

Granted. On your first trip (a three hour tour, coincidentally) your neighbor accidentally lost his collection of termites. You found them just as they finished chewing a fatal hole in your hull.

Speaking of wishes, you know what I don't understand? Genies! They tell you to wish for anything you want and then they add some terrible twist. Like you wish to jump high, so he turns you into a frog. Why? Who gains from this? The genie? Where's the benefit?

I wish to jump high.

[Iris]

Granted. You attain escape velocity with your jump. Your remains disappear into space.

I wish to become immune to heartburns.

[AlaskanAvenger]

Granted, you are turned to stone and never have to worry about it or anything else ever again

I wish the salmon runs where I live will always be large and there will be plenty of fish for everyone without any undesired side effects.

[johndh]

Granted, but for some reason, not everyone is properly repulsed by fish. Your town is soon overrun by grizzly bear fishing enthusiasts. (That's a desired side effect for the bears.)

I wish I could get used to this Uberman sleep schedule faster and easier so I'd only ever have to sleep two hours per day for the rest of my life.

Spoiler:

Aren't undesired side effects the point of this game?

[Iris]

Granted, you die because of the lack of sleep. The “rest of your life” turns out to have been no more than a week.

I wish to live in wealth and happiness with everything I’ve ever wanted (and will ever want) for the rest of my life, one thousand years to be exact(in base 10, assuming a year as three hundred and sixty five days in base 10, each one comprising twenty four hours in base 10, each hour comprising sixty minutes of sixty seconds each, a second defined as the duration of 9,192,631,770 (base 10) periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the caesium-133 atom; base 10 being our standard numerical system using numbers with digit order as follows: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9); that includes a family, and pets, and everything I already had anyway, and without wish subversions (so this and further wishes must be interpreted they way I want, not yours), and with perfect health.

[AlaskanAvenger]

Granted. Your wish turns out exactly as you wish, but after 1000 years you die and suffer unspeakable torment in the afterlife due to annoying the gods because of your near-immortality.

I wish for a fairly prosperous and average life before dying with no repercussions in the hereafter.