Help me out with a spelling/grammar correction, please

[savescummer]

1.9.4, Legend of Wesmere, S16: "Now we must make appear he was slain by an orcish hand!"
It's wrong, I know that. But there are so many different ways to correct it, I feel awkward suggesting a multitude of options without discussing it with an (apparent) authority. I figure the discussion belongs here rather than on the Spelling Mistakes Wiki.

Possible solutions with which I could be comfortable, in order of my increasing satisfaction: "make it appear", "make it appear as though", "make the chieftan appear as though".

[StDrake]

i see two solutions:
'[..]must make it appear as if he was [..]' is a little clumsy, it just doesn't feel like the 'appear' word fits in there
'[..]must make it look like he was[..]'
another thing is 'getting slain by orcish hand' also sounds somewhat artificial, 'killed by an orc' or 'slain by orcs' could look better

[Insinuator]

1.9.4, Legend of Wesmere, S16: "Now we must make appear he was slain by an orcish hand!"

"Now we must make it appear that he was slain by an orcish hand!"

Not the most flowing prose ever, but conforms to the original sentence the closest.

[AI]

Actually, I think this is intentional. esr spent a lot of time prose-doctoring LoW and DM, making the english more archaic and such.

About a year ago, someone 'fixed' a lot of things like this. When he discovered it, we spent a lot of time reverting things.
When in doubt, poke esr first. (or check the svn history)

[Scatha]

Interesting. I think the original is better than most of the suggested fixes, but I (slightly) prefer adding in just the word "it". I think this helps it to read naturally without losing the archaic feel.

However, here is a proposal which I think moves it further in the direction of sounding archaic, and also makes it flow more smoothly: drop the word "an", so it ends "... slain by orcish hand." I make this proposal for either version of the text.

So my overall submission would be:
"Now we must make it appear he was slain by orcish hand."

[rmj]

drop the word "an", so it ends "... slain by orcish hand."

I like that suggestion. Also I would drop "now".

"It must appear he was slain by orcish hand"

And possibly change the tense:
"It must appear he is slain by orcish hand"