DiD S1 dialog change

For writers working on documentation, story prose, announcements, and all kinds of Wesnoth text.

Moderators: Forum Moderators, Developers

Post Reply
User avatar
josteph
Developer
Posts: 740
Joined: August 19th, 2017, 6:58 pm

DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph » December 15th, 2018, 4:55 pm

In Descent into Darkness, at the end of S1 the town sergeant Drogan banishes the protagonist Malin from Wesnoth for having raised Walking Corpses. I submitted a change of dialog, does it look good?

https://github.com/wesnoth/wesnoth/pull/3752/files

Note the line "Goodbye, commander" that's being removed isn't in 1.14.5. It was added to have a hint in dialog that the three loyal units that Malin starts with won't carry over to the next scenario, but it's being removed/changed because its tone was too friendly.

User avatar
The_Gnat
Posts: 2077
Joined: October 10th, 2016, 3:06 am
Contact:

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by The_Gnat » December 15th, 2018, 9:08 pm

Yes that is a good improvement :D and reflects the dark sentiment of the humans towards Malin better.

User avatar
josteph
Developer
Posts: 740
Joined: August 19th, 2017, 6:58 pm

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph » December 17th, 2018, 4:59 pm

Thanks, The_Gnat. I've merged it now :D

User avatar
max_torch
Posts: 334
Joined: July 31st, 2011, 5:54 pm
Location: Cavite, Philippines

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by max_torch » December 23rd, 2018, 8:45 am

Why change "Your father would be ashamed to see the end to which you’ve come" to
"Your father would turn in his grave did he see the end to which you’ve come"
?
The first line sounds better. just my opinion

User avatar
josteph
Developer
Posts: 740
Joined: August 19th, 2017, 6:58 pm

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph » December 23rd, 2018, 9:32 am

An early version of the patch used "ashamed" in the added line, so we wanted to change the "ashamed" in the existing line to avoid repetition. In the end, both instances of "ashamed" were changed, one to "detest" and one to "turn in his grave" (zookeeper and Soliton's suggestions). We can of course change it further.

Personally, I think it's plausible that Drogan would use the idiom "turn in his grave" here, given that Malin's father had died and that the conversation is about Malin having raised the dead. (but this is just my opinion)

User avatar
max_torch
Posts: 334
Joined: July 31st, 2011, 5:54 pm
Location: Cavite, Philippines

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by max_torch » December 23rd, 2018, 1:13 pm

Okay I didn't realize the full context from just looking at the single line. Thanks for explaining.
Next concern is - I wonder if the "did he see the end to which you've come" clause is the right grammar.
Would you prefer: "Your father would be turning in his grave if he could see you now."

User avatar
josteph
Developer
Posts: 740
Joined: August 19th, 2017, 6:58 pm

Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph » December 23rd, 2018, 3:56 pm

I think it's the right grammar, yes. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_c ... on_clauses . I used that form since wesnoth dialog generally uses more archaic English (both grammar and vocabulary).

I think "if he could see you now" is a bit non-specific (now? As in, chatting with Drogan, having kept the orcs at bay? The Walking Corpses may have already been slain by orcs at this point), but perhaps some other change will work better?

Post Reply