Girl unDead

Discussion and development of scenarios and campaigns for the game.

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tapaboy
Posts: 29
Joined: June 26th, 2011, 6:09 am
Location: Japan

Girl unDead

Post by tapaboy »

This is the development thread for the campaign Girl unDead.

Sorry.This campaign is written in Japanese.Because I'm not good at English.

This campaign may have bugs and is not well balanced.
Please tell me bugs and feedbacks.
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SkyOne
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Joined: January 3rd, 2009, 7:23 pm

Re: Girl unDead

Post by SkyOne »

tapaboy wrote:This is the development thread for the campaign Girl unDead.

Sorry.This campaign is written in Japanese.Because I'm not good at English.

This campaign may have bugs and is not well balanced.
Please tell me bugs and feedbacks.
Hmmm...
Would you like to modify your campaign just to the same way as everyone does? I think that it is slightly strange asking bug-reports and feedbacks on this forum if the campaign is Japanese language only. People who post here have to know both English and Japanese.

If you are positive, these are my advises:
- use the google-translate (or something similar) to convert all dialogs to English, then post here for the help. This community is actually strong to people who need some help.

For example, this is your first line;
魔術師の中には、どこにも属さずに一生旅をする者や目立たぬようひっそり暮らす者もいる。元々自由を愛してその道を選ぶ者もいるが、事情があって孤立している者もいる。
Unfortunately, the most of people here are totally out of ideas what it says with it.
But if you use the google-translate, the line turns to;
In the magician, there are those who live quietly and discreetly as not the person making the journey to life does not belong anywhere. There are some who love the freedom to choose its way originally, there are those who have been isolated circumstances.
Well, still a bit strange, but at least, everyone can have some ideas what it says with it, so that you may have chances to encounter English editors here.

The problem is that there are no US English PO files(*) in BfW. It means that translating dialogs to US English in the game is impossible as far as I know. Another words, all campaigns have to be based on US English here. --> EDIT: - for this part, I was not quite right, sorry.
It is technically possible to have US English translations for any add-ons. Somehow, it just has not been set up on BfW yet, according to Espreon, and fortunately, he has a will to set it up in the future (how wonderful it is!). So your campaign has a hope.:) But still the translation will be necessary even it is set up...
(*) - PO files are used for translations on BfW


Anyway, good luck.:)
Fate of a Princess/feedback thread: "What is in own heart that is the most important, not who you are."
Drake Campaign: Brave Wings/feedback thread, Naga Campaign: Return of the Monster, Saurian Campaign: Across the Ocean
Northern Forces - now on 1.12 server
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tapaboy
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Location: Japan

Re: Girl unDead

Post by tapaboy »

Thank you for your advices. :)

I'll try to translate this campaign to English.
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rmj
Posts: 281
Joined: July 4th, 2010, 5:21 am

Re: Girl unDead

Post by rmj »

This campaign cannot do autosaves. Every turn a message comes up saying that. I believe this is due to the Japanese contained in the name of the scenario.

The English is horrible. The automatic translation creates awkward sentences and are often incomprehensible.

I am attaching a zip file of the first four scenarios with the Japanese removed so that the game can autosave, and also with improved English. I have had to guess at times as to what the meaning was; hopefully I am close to what you intended.

In Scenario 1--Death, you made the beasts guardians. This makes it possible for Malica to escape if she is lucky. Because there is no turn limit, this allows an unlimited possibility of accumulating a huge amound of gold.

Scenario 2--Escape. I think it takes luck to win this level. Malica cannot avoid some fighting, and it is not difficult for her to be killed.

Scenario 4--Asceticism. The title seems inapt, perhaps you meant "Loneliness".
Luck plays a large part at the beginning. The scorpion and mudcrawler may be able
to delay you long enough for the trolls to show up and prevent Malica from ever reaching the fort.
A solution may be to make the valley two hexes wide at the start, so that one can more easily avoid these creatures, then send some skeletons back to kill them.
scenarios.zip
(9.47 KiB) Downloaded 471 times
rmj
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tapaboy
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by tapaboy »

Hi,rmj.

Thank you for your advices and suggestions. :)
rmj wrote:This campaign cannot do autosaves. Every turn a message comes up saying that. I believe this is due to the Japanese contained in the name of the scenario.

The English is horrible. The automatic translation creates awkward sentences and are often incomprehensible.

I am attaching a zip file of the first four scenarios with the Japanese removed so that the game can autosave, and also with improved English. I have had to guess at times as to what the meaning was; hopefully I am close to what you intended.
I shall include your improvements to next version.
In Scenario 1--Death, you made the beasts guardians. This makes it possible for Malica to escape if she is lucky. Because there is no turn limit, this allows an unlimited possibility of accumulating a huge amound of gold.

Scenario 2--Escape. I think it takes luck to win this level. Malica cannot avoid some fighting, and it is not difficult for her to be killed.
Sure. These need to be modified.
Scenario 4--Asceticism. The title seems inapt, perhaps you meant "Loneliness".
I want mean "asceticism" as "hard training". But, perhaps "asceticism" means different. Is there proper ward ?
Luck plays a large part at the beginning. The scorpion and mudcrawler may be able
to delay you long enough for the trolls to show up and prevent Malica from ever reaching the fort.
A solution may be to make the valley two hexes wide at the start, so that one can more easily avoid these creatures, then send some skeletons back to kill them.
I will modify the map.
WanderingHero
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by WanderingHero »

Haven't tried your campaign yet, but I can tell you Google Translator is a really bad translator for Japanese. Use a better one if you can find it, or use it and get someone to proofread for you.
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rmj
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by rmj »

"asceticism" as "hard training".
I can't think of a single word for that, but perhaps "A Dangerous Education" or "Perilous Training" would do.

In the translations I provided, there was one place where I was really unsure as to the meaning. In scenario 2--Escape, the poet referred to here as a switch-hitter. I ended up saying she seemed both dead and alive.

I hope you auto translate some more scenarios. I am curious to know where this campaign is going.
rmj
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SkyOne
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by SkyOne »

tapaboy wrote:I want mean "asceticism" as "hard training". But, perhaps "asceticism" means different.
I think that "asceticism" is a word to be trained in buddhism (maybe, okay for ninjas), but your campaign is for becoming an undead, isn't it?
As far as I know, there is not an exact word of Japanese "syu-gyou" in English. I guess "Training" is probably the closest word in it.

You can post the translated English dialogs on this thread in order to ask some helps before uploading them on the server. That was actually what I meant, previously. But it is up to you.
Fate of a Princess/feedback thread: "What is in own heart that is the most important, not who you are."
Drake Campaign: Brave Wings/feedback thread, Naga Campaign: Return of the Monster, Saurian Campaign: Across the Ocean
Northern Forces - now on 1.12 server
Wussel
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by Wussel »

Maybe it is needed to install Japanese script on the computer? I would assume it works in Japan. I think Wesnoth should support foreign languages as primary language. Than the regular translation could take place. If somebody wants to do it and is fit to do it. Please have some understanding for people not using English. Personally I would prefer you share ideas where the typical Japanese response would not include "sorry".
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tapaboy
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Location: Japan

Re: Girl unDead

Post by tapaboy »

Hi, rmj.
Hi, SkyOne.

Thank you.
I will change the title of the fourth scenario to "training".

Post 2:
Hi,Wussel.

I know the Japanese in the pampaign causes trouble.
I am working to remove the Japanese from the pampaign naw.
Please wait for a while.

Post 3:
Hi, SkyOne.
SkyOne wrote: You can post the translated English dialogs on this thread in order to ask some helps before uploading them on the server. That was actually what I meant, previously. But it is up to you.
It is a nice idea. Thank you.
Last edited by Crendgrim on October 20th, 2012, 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
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tapaboy
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Location: Japan

Scenario 5

Post by tapaboy »

Here is the draft of the fifth scenario "Invasion from Orcs".
Please refine the script.
Thank you.

Code: Select all

[story]
        [part]
            story= _ "Although the training was continued even after this, Malica did not become most strongly."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "Varas, the leader of undead, and Poet were disappointed about this. But Malica became the deputy leader of undead, because she was daughter-in-law of Varas. For good or bad, undead never doubt her qualities as leader."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "One day, Malica was ordered to scout the nothen valley from Varas. And she departed with Poet and her soldiers."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "But, she felt a boreboding. So, notwithstanding that Poet was detained on desperately, she returned to the cave of undead."
        [/part]
    [/story]

    [event]
        name=start
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Why are orcs here? Oh, there is a loophole behind the throne."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Poet, Why have you retuened? I ordered you to escape with Malica to nothen land."
        [/message]
      [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Sorry. I insisted I was detained, she would go home."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad, what happend ?"
        [/message]
        [message]
          speaker=Orcs
          message= _ "Our objective cames."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Objective? Me?"
        [/message]
        [message]
          speaker=Orcs
          message= _ "Lady, come here. And we will back with no harm."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica, do not believe them. They are lying. Run away from there."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "It is hard for us to win them, now. As boss says, let's escape."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "No! I can not run away and leave him. Poet, You may run away. But, I shall battle here."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Damn it! I can not run away leave my Princess."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica. run away! Poet, Take her!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "I'm sorry, Dad. But, I want to Rescue you."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "It desperation! Boss, I am Malica's minion, not yours. I follow her orders."
        [/message]
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=turn 2
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Ha? Why human mages are with orcs? Furthermore, they mast be royal mages. Because they dress indecent clothes."
        [/message]       
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Varas
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "It is time of annihilation for me."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad, sorry! I can not save you."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica, do not worry. Death is a hope of repose for us. At last, show me your earring."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Here."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Veronica..."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad!! Orcs, I never forgive you!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Oh, It would be birth of new queen, if she was stong."
        [/message]
    [/event]
    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Orcs
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "What do you means that I am your purpose."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Orcs
            message= _ "Of course for money. I do not know even more."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "He died..."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "My Princess, What shall we do? If we stay here, they will atack us again. How about escape to westen valley, and rebuild the camp."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "I can not run away."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "But, there are few soldiers our side. There must be a lot of strong soldiers in home of enemy. I do not want to die in vain."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "I doubt you are alive. You can run away. But, I go to orcs home. Anyway I can not escape from them. And I want to know why they want me."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Alas! You are stubborn like your father. Well, I will go with you to defeat the orcs."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Thank you, Poet! As a matter of fact, I felt lonely."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Oh, I've been zapped!"
        [/message]
        [endlevel]
            result=victory
            bonus=yes
            {NEW_GOLD_CARRYOVER 80}
        [/endlevel]
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Poet
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "I also doomed. Sorry, I can not save you."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Poet! Do not die!"
        [/message]
        [endlevel]
            result=defeat
        [/endlevel]
    [/event]
Last edited by Crendgrim on October 20th, 2012, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Added [code] tags
alluton
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by alluton »

Its recomended to use code tags( [ code ][/ code ] Whitout those spaces ofcourse.)

Also: "Although the training was continued even after this, Malica did not become most strongly." Its actually most strongest.

"One day, Malica was ordered to scout the nothen valley from Varas. And she departed with Poet and her soldiers." I suppose there should be northern valley.
"This game cured me of my real life addiction."
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Crendgrim
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Re: Girl unDead

Post by Crendgrim »

Indeed. I edited it accordingly.
Also, tapaboy: Please read your PMs. Thank you.
Lanval
Posts: 31
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Re: Scenario 5

Post by Lanval »

Some wierd stuff here;

Daughter in law implies that Malica is married to Varas' son. I just used Daughter since that's what seems to be used elsewhere and I'm given no indication of a husband.

Poet is a really odd name. A weirder term, "Bard" maybe, would fit more as a name. Though both sound like nicknames. Homer or Virgil might be good if you're aiming for a name for someone who speaks well and is poetic.

I am not sure of their characterization. If I had a stronger idea of that as well as what is important for foreshadowing, then I'd be of more help.

Using "Lord" and "Lady" rather than "Boss" and "Princess". I'm not sure of the feel you want though.

Also; The last line in this scenario is "Oh, I've been zapped!" I have no idea what is meant by that.
tapaboy wrote:

Code: Select all

[story]
        [part]
            story= _ "The training continued on even after this, but still Malica's progress was slow."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "Varas, the necromacer, and Poet were disappointed about this. Still, as she was his daughter,  Malica became Varas' second in command. The Undead, for better or worst, did not question her abilities."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "Soon, Malica was ordered by Varas to explore the Northern Valley. She departed with Poet and her soldiers."
        [/part]
        [part]
            story= _ "She had a foreboding feeling about this mission. Ignoring the advice and pleadings of Poet who insisted that they finish their mission there first, she returned to the cave."
        [/part]
    [/story]

    [event]
        name=start
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Orcs here? What is happening? Is that a portal behind the throne?"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Poet, what are you doing here? You were to escape North with Malica."
        [/message]
      [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "I am sorry. She wouldn't listen to me."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad! What is happening here?"
        [/message]
        [message]
          speaker=Orcs
          message= _ "There she is! The one we've been looking for."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "...Me?"
        [/message]
        [message]
          speaker=Orcs
          message= _ "We do not want to hurt you. Come back quietly and we will explain."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica, don't believe them. They are lying. Just run..."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "We don't have a much of a chance fighting. Listen to your father, escape with us."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "No! I can't just leave him here. Run away, if you are afraid but I'll save my father or die trying."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "You're going to die here with him then, damn it!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica! Run! Poet, take her if you must!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "I'm sorry, Dad but I can't leave you here!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "This is foolishness, Malica. But I am still her minion, not yours, Lord. I must follow her orders."
        [/message]
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=turn 2
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Human mages along side orcs? These are strange times. Worse yet, from their robes, I think they are in service to the throne!"
        [/message]       
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Varas
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "So this is my end?"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad... I couldn't save you..."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Malica, do not worry. Death is merely a great sleep, a much needed rest and mercy granted to all. But show me your earring."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Here."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Varas
            message= _ "Veronica... Maybe I'll see you again..."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Dad!! Orcs! I will have my revenge!"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "The Lord is dead, the heir now rises. Let us see if she can prove herself now."
        [/message]
    [/event]
    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Orcs
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "You came here for me and slew my father. What is your purpose here?"
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Orcs
            message= _ "Gold. We are paid. We do not ask where it comes from."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "For gold? Father died... for your gold? Then die."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "My Lady, what shall we do? If we stay here, they will come back with greater numbers. We must escape to the western valley, and rebuild the camp."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "I can not run away."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "From what? There are few of us here and nothing we can do will bring your father back. I do not want to die in vain."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "You're barely alive. Run away, if you want. I don't care. I am going to take the fight to them. I want to know why they want me. Besides, I do not think any escape would last for long."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Alas! You are as stubborn as your old father. I will follow where you lead."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Thank you Poet! I did not want to have to do this alone."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Very well!"
        [/message]
        [endlevel]
            result=victory
            bonus=yes
            {NEW_GOLD_CARRYOVER 80}
        [/endlevel]
    [/event]

    [event]
        name=last_breath
        [filter]
            id=Poet
        [/filter]
        [message]
            speaker=Poet
            message= _ "Ack! I am fallen. I can follow you no further."
        [/message]
        [message]
            speaker=Malica
            message= _ "Poet! Don't die!"
        [/message]
        [endlevel]
            result=defeat
        [/endlevel]
    [/event]
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rmj
Posts: 281
Joined: July 4th, 2010, 5:21 am

Re: Girl unDead

Post by rmj »

I had also come up with a translation. Here are some changes to the above translation I feel are in order.
"The training continued on even after this, but still Malica's progress was slow."
[/part]
[part]
"Varas, the necromacer, and Poet were disappointed about this. Still, as she was his daughter, Malica became Varas' second in command. The Undead, for better or worst, did not question her abilities."
"Malica's training continued, but her progress was slow and disappointed Varas and Poet. Still, she was the adopted daughter of Varas and so, for good or bad, the other undead never doubted her abilities to lead."
(Mention of adopted; and I don't know if she was second in command.)
"Poet, what are you doing here? You were to escape North with Malica."
Rather than 'escape' use scout or explore.
"We do not want to hurt you. Come back quietly and we will explain."
Perhaps this is better: "Lady, come to us and we will leave and do no further harm."
"Malica, do not worry. Death is merely a great sleep, a much needed rest and mercy granted to all. But show me your earring."
I had:
"Malica, don't worry. Destruction for our kind is repose. Show me your earring; I would have that as my final vision."
"Veronica... Maybe I'll see you again..."[
Why not leave it as it was, just "Veronica . . ."?
"The Lord is dead, the heir now rises. Let us see if she can prove herself now."
I had:
"Oh, this would be birth of a new queen, but she lacks the strength."
I don't know which expresses your intent better.
"Very well!"
Your auto translation was "Oh, I've been zapped." What are you trying to say?



Note: The first two maps are unloadable for version 1.11 because the hex of grass with flowers is now grass with an overlay of flowers. Thus you need to change all Ggf to Gg or to something else.
rmj
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