My lore thread

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PandaClaws
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My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

This is my lore thread where I will post bits of mainline material that probably is not mainline quality. (But I am still practicing)

EDIT: To put everything in this post.

Wolves

Wolves are found in large forests all over Wesnoth where they hunt in packs. Their thick fur and adaptability allows them to survive under even the harshest conditions. While it is true that a sinlge wolf is not that powerful, a pack will tear apart even the mightiest of hunters. Razorsharp fangs and knife-like claws establishes them amongst the most dangerous animals in Wesnoth. They are ferocious, vicious and guarded by the trees shadows they are generally capable of hunting any game. Peasants however are prone to superstition. Countless stories of men who turned insane after hours of their characteristic howling or how travellers were slaughtered by packs of the beast. All of this has led to the people of Wesnoth closely associating Wolves with evil.

Reports told of black wolves that grew much larger than any normal wolf. Those giant whirlwinds of fangs were appropriately named Direwolves and stood as tall as a horse. In addition they possessed teeth and jaws that could bite a man in half and had leadership over very large packs. It is rumored that in uncharted areas packs of these things run rampant. If those stories turned out to be true these places would almost truly be unchartable.



Falcon


Falcons are birds known for their amazing speed and eyesight. While hunting for mice or other small rodents they will dive at a velocity currently unmatched. They will also eat smaller birds that they attack in mid-air. Due to their capacities, tamed falcons are a prized possession of many nobles.





The Khalifate

Not much is known about the mysterious empire in the South. Either way, the things that are known could be very useful in case of a war. Small pieces of information were continuously gathered by talking and in some cases even torturing travelling traders who hailed from these lands. A drastic course of action perhaps but a necessary one as no-one is allowed to pass their borders. Unlike many other desert civilizations they are not nomads. Having built large cities around water sources instead. The Khalifate is ran by the military, this is necessary as it can only maintain its lifestyle due to its many slaves. Emperors are elected by high-ranked officers and the military constantly tries to keep a tight grip on the religion's power. Because from what information they could gather from captured traders it seems that the people believe that each emperor has a tiny piece of god within him. Something that according to the priests makes the emperor a demi-god. Ofcourse the officers know this and thus strive to keep the priests' power in check since more power for the priests equals more power for the emperor, which could mean change...

Saurians

These reptilian inhabitants of the swamps have organized themselves in a primitive tribal society. Underestimation has caused many a death however as these lizards are certainly not dumb. Expeditions have shown that Saurians will either make themselves crude homes to live in or live in large ruins of older civilizations instead. Here they will be led by their chieftain, usually the most physically imposing saurian who wears the best armor and weapons avaible. Saurians worship dragons which Is why it is not uncommon for a dragon to have a small army of saurians at its disposal. It is because of the resemblance between the dragons and the drakes that saurians will often find themselves allying with the dragons' ancestors. Sometimes exceedingly powerful drakes have even managed to trick some saurians into worshipping them. Saurians however are far from dumb and are likely to expose the drakes as frauds and capture them. Hereby declining them a painless death...

In battle saurians are known for their nimbleness and agility. They will eagerly use flanking manouvres and are skilled ambushers. Saurians have also mastered some form of magic and while this is often assumed to be some kind of black magic it should be noted that some saurians also possess healing magic.


P.S. : I would also like to try UMC descriptions, so you can always PM me about that.
Last edited by PandaClaws on August 19th, 2011, 4:20 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

-The first sentence already makes the whole thing unrealistic. Wolves are found all over in Wesnoth, not just the Northern woods.
-Sentence #3 doesn't make any sense (needs a verb).
They catch them as cubs and train them to be their mount and in battle goblins can use any advantage they can find.
This is a rambling sentence. Try not to use the second half after "mount".
-Direwolves should probably be in a lore all their own, as they are very different from regular wolves.
-You seem to mention goblins a lot in the lore, making it seem as if it is a lore about goblin riders, not wolves.

Overall, try to explain the wolves more and not just what is associated with them. It's a work in progress, but not bad in the least.

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PandaClaws
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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

Thanks for your criticism and for giving me some clear points to work on.

However, is there any established lore on direwolves or are they just based on the real (now-extinct) direwolf?
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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

There is lore in a certain user-made campaign (Swamplings)

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PandaClaws
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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

Okay, I will be sure to take a look. However, there does not seem to be a "Wolf" unit in the game? Which is why I have decided to keep the remarks about Goblins but add in more general information about the animals themselves.

This is my updated version of the description, well it is a lot longer but that is hardly ever a synonym for better so criticism is still welcomed.

(The questions at the bottom apply to the highlighted sections.)

Wolves

Wolves are found in large forests all over Wesnoth where they hunt in packs. Their thick fur and adaptability allows them to survive under the harshest conditions. A lone hunter will have little chance against a pack of wolves. Their sharp fangs and claws have discouraged many a traveler from venturing further. Wolves are ferocious, vicious and guarded by the trees shadows they are generally capable of hunting any game These animals of the night however are still shrouded in myth. Countless stories of how men turned insane after hours of their characteristic howling or how travellers were slaughtered by packs of the beast. All of this has led to the people of Wesnoth closely associating Wolves with evil. For most goblins however their wolves are their most prized possession. They catch them as cubs and train them to be their mount. Goblins who knowingly enter battle as cannon fodder will gladly use this whirlwind of fangs to their advantage.

Since as long as men can remember wolves have been found dead in the forests. Most often they boasted about killing the beasts themselves. But that hardly explains the bite marks. It is rumored that in those corners of the forests where the wolves dare not tread, the direwolves walk. Most of the knowledge about direwolves however comes from the very few corpses ever found. These wolves were described as giant black wolves with red eyes like fire that could raid entire villages. Forests in which this monstrosities appeared however also seemed to be almost completely devoid of other wolves suggesting a hate between Wolves and their supposed ancestors. The general populace of Wesnoth does not take these stories serious however as they have also heard stories about goblins riding these beasts...



1. Should I keep this sentences about how humans see wolves?

2. Am I taking too much freedom here? Does this "fact" conflict with existing lore.
Very well sir. Bring on your storm.
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Read about the snow prince here
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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

1. Should I keep this sentences about how humans see wolves?
I highly suggest you look at the wolf unit (it IS in the game, you just have to find it first :wink: )
2. Am I taking too much freedom here? Does this "fact" conflict with existing lore.
Once again, I suggest you study up on the in-game direwolves.

And, as I have said before, take out all of the goblins. DO NOT ADD THEM. Goblin Riders are a unit all their own. Wolves can be used in goblin rider descriptions, but not vice versa.

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PandaClaws
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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

My bad (:

I have found the wolf now however. ( Damn am I glad that my description does not differ from it.)
I also studied the Direwolves lore in "Swamplings" and changed the description accordingly. ( As well as removing the Goblins )
1. Does Wesnoth has werewolves by the way?
2. So basically Direwolves are just larger wolves?

I generally tried to make it more fluid and started working on another description.

Wolves


Wolves are found in large forests all over Wesnoth where they hunt in packs. Their thick fur and adaptability allows them to survive under even the harshest conditions. While it is true that a sinlge wolf is not that powerful, a pack will tear apart even the mightiest of hunters. Their sharp fangs and claws have “discouraged” many a traveler from venturing further. Wolves are ferocious, vicious and guarded by the trees shadows they are generally capable of hunting any game. These animals of the night however are still shrouded in myth. Countless stories of how men turned insane after hours of their characteristic howling or how travellers were slaughtered by packs of the beast. All of this has led to the people of Wesnoth closely associating Wolves with evil.

There also exists wolves as tall as a horse. These direwolves possess teeth and jaws that can bite a man in half and have leadership over very large packs. Tales however tell of packs of direwolves living in uncharted forests and mountains. If these stories are true these places would almost truly be unchartable.


Falcon

Falcons are birds known for their amazing speed and eyesight. Since while hunting for mice or other small rodents they will dive at a velocity currently unmatched. They will also eat smaller birds that they attack in mid-air. Due to their capacities, tamed falcons are a prized possession of many nobles.


I just saw that there was no description for a falcon so I kinda jumped at the oppurtunity. However I am not so sure whether this is all factual because I did not really do any research yet.
Very well sir. Bring on your storm.
- A guard dismissing the Snow Prince

Read about the snow prince here
For when a king cries, he cries tears of iron.

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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

Direwolves are very large wolves, yes.
Wesnoth does not "officially" have werewolves.

I think the problem is that your sentences are mostly the same. The same words, phrases, everything. It's not interesting enough to continue reading. Your sentences also ramble, and you are missing commas where they are needed.

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PandaClaws
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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

Harsh, but true.
I have always been bad when it comes to commas and I wont tell you any of my excuses about the other thing because that is also true.
Also, these would not solve anything so I will just keep trying.

Wolves


Wolves are found in large forests all over Wesnoth where they hunt in packs. Their thick fur and adaptability allows them to survive under even the harshest conditions. While it is true that a sinlge wolf is not that powerful, a pack will tear apart even the mightiest of hunters. Razorsharp fangs and knife-like claws establishes them amongst the most dangerous animals in Wesnoth. They are ferocious, vicious and while guarded by the trees shadows generally capable of hunting any game. Peasants however are prone to superstition. Countless stories of men who turned insane after hours of their characteristic howling or how travellers were slaughtered by packs of the beast are common. All of this has led to the people of Wesnoth closely associating Wolves with evil.

Reports told of black wolves that grew much larger than any normal wolf. Those giant whirlwinds of fangs were appropriately named Direwolves and stood as tall as a horse. In addition they possessed teeth and jaws that could bite a man in half and had leadership over very large packs. It is rumored that in uncharted areas packs of these things run rampant. If those stories turned out to be true these places would almost truly be unchartable.


I honestly do not know if this is better or not.

P.S. : Thank you for the criticism so far it has been really helpful.

P.S.S : Thinking of giving Khalifate a try
Very well sir. Bring on your storm.
- A guard dismissing the Snow Prince

Read about the snow prince here
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Crendgrim
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Re: My lore thread

Post by Crendgrim »

Great_Mage_Atari wrote:There is lore in a certain user-made campaign (Swamplings)
Hum. UMC campaigns are not Wesnoth lore. Wesnoth lore only (mostly?) consists of mainline campaigns, this means campaigns shipped within the game.
So, using information from UMC add-ons may be quite incorrect. I highly suggest not to do this to increase your chances of your work actually going in the core game help. However, I am not the person to decide this, and Great_Mage_Atari is neither. So, don't take his and my opinions too serious, as they weight (nearly) nothing. ;)


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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

As Crend always for some odd reason likes to point out, I did make a minor mistake. There really is no lore in Wesnoth. Most "lore" is unit descriptions. I gave you the Swamplings reference as a jumping-off point, because your direwolf description needed a little "umpf." As for being harsh, I did not mean to come off that way. I only meant to help you in developing your lore.

@Crendgrim: He asked for opinions, I gave him some. Don't be so critical. :P

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Re: My lore thread

Post by Crendgrim »

There certainly is "lore" in Wesnoth, and that is what is told in the mainline campaigns.


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Re: My lore thread

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

I should edit my post above and state there is not "lore" for most individual units. Stories are indefinably "lore", yet most units do not have individual lore behind them (with, of course, the exception of units such as Konrad, Delfador, Li'Sar, Haldrad, etc.).

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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

While your arguments are certainly valid I must urge you not to talk about it here.
Atari might have given me wrong advice there but even so I doubt my direwolf idea could ever be accepted.
His criticism is very valuable to me as well.

Anyway, I saw that The Khalifate did not have any description yet so I tried myself. (Mostly just to practice)


The Khalifate

Not much is known about the mysterious empire in the South. Either way, the things that are known could be very useful in case of a war. Small pieces of information were continuously gathered by talking and in some cases even torturing travelling traders who hailed from these lands. A drastic course of action perhaps but a necessary one as no-one is allowed to pass their borders. Unlike many other desert civilizations they are not nomads. Having built large cities around water sources instead. The Khalifate is ran by the military, this is necessary as it can only maintain its lifestyle due to its many slaves. Emperors are elected by high-ranked officers and the military constantly tries to keep a tight grip on the religion's power. Because from what information they could gather from captured traders it seems that the people believe that each emperor has a tiny piece of god within him. Something that according to the priests makes the emperor a demi-god. Ofcourse the officers know this and thus strive to keep the priests' power in check since more power for the priests equals more power for the emperor, which could mean change...
Very well sir. Bring on your storm.
- A guard dismissing the Snow Prince

Read about the snow prince here
For when a king cries, he cries tears of iron.

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PandaClaws
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Re: My lore thread

Post by PandaClaws »

Tried my best at making a Saurian description even though I fear this may conflict with existing lore.

Saurians


These reptilian inhabitants of the swamps have organized themselves in a primitive tribal society. Underestimation has caused many a death however as these lizards are certainly not dumb. Expeditions have shown that Saurians will either make themselves crude homes to live in or live in large ruins of older civilizations instead. Here they will be led by their chieftain, usually the most physically imposing saurian who wears the best armor and weapons avaible. Saurians worship dragons which Is why it is not uncommon for a dragon to have a small army of saurians at its disposal. It is because of the resemblance between the dragons and the drakes that saurians will often find themselves allying with the dragons' ancestors. Sometimes exceedingly powerful drakes have even managed to trick some saurians into worshipping them.


Constructive criticism is once again encouraged
Very well sir. Bring on your storm.
- A guard dismissing the Snow Prince

Read about the snow prince here
For when a king cries, he cries tears of iron.

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