Search found 31 matches

by Lanval
October 29th, 2012, 7:22 am
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Eldred's Tale
Replies: 16
Views: 4549

Re: Eldred's Tale

Thank you for more detailed look into my story and details. I'm presently buried under other priorities so it will likely be a week or so before new installments fall into place. I'll make the corrections first chance I get. Some of these are simple typographical errors made a lot more apparent in w...
by Lanval
October 27th, 2012, 8:28 pm
Forum: Scenario & Campaign Development
Topic: Girl unDead
Replies: 56
Views: 21473

Re: Girl unDead

I should clarify that I thought I'd help out as requested in the first post but I couldn't find dialogue files for earlier scenarios, so I thought I'd do what I could with the scenario posted above. A lot of stuff here is just educated guess work based off the first version, for example, shortening ...
by Lanval
October 22nd, 2012, 4:31 pm
Forum: Scenario & Campaign Development
Topic: Girl unDead
Replies: 56
Views: 21473

Re: Scenario 5

Some wierd stuff here; Daughter in law implies that Malica is married to Varas' son. I just used Daughter since that's what seems to be used elsewhere and I'm given no indication of a husband. Poet is a really odd name. A weirder term, "Bard" maybe, would fit more as a name. Though both so...
by Lanval
October 21st, 2012, 4:45 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

Yeah. Refinement for me though has a more modern feel and concept to it; it feels like something that would be said in a Victorian setting rather than a Medieval one. This is a subjective matter of taste though. Resplendent I liked not because they matched up perfectly but because it had parallels t...
by Lanval
October 20th, 2012, 6:28 pm
Forum: Faction & Era Development
Topic: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)
Replies: 27
Views: 7483

Re: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)

It varies. The Gauls in the Venetii penisula were known for their navies as listed there but the Gauls were fairly diverse and outside of that tribe, I don't think they were particularly reknowned for naval abilities. The main things that I think are undeniably attributable to Gaul were; Guerilla wa...
by Lanval
October 19th, 2012, 10:56 pm
Forum: Faction & Era Development
Topic: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)
Replies: 27
Views: 7483

Re: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)

I'm a bit of a history geek for this stuff so I can help, particularly with the Gauls, if there are any specific questions. I'll say for the Gauls that contemporary scholarly sources on them are few, so a lot of history around them is speculation or trying to reverse engineer off handed references f...
by Lanval
October 18th, 2012, 4:59 pm
Forum: Faction & Era Development
Topic: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)
Replies: 27
Views: 7483

Re: Hellenistic Era (336-107 BC)

I'm excited for this. Is there a chance of seeing a Brennus campaign?
by Lanval
October 18th, 2012, 4:54 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

In its age of glory it shone as the sun
It was, within its leafy realm of river and of bark,
by Lanval
October 18th, 2012, 1:47 am
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

I didn't divide it clearly enough, but they were intended as different points. There are is an "a" and an "an" there I'm not sure about in there along with a lot of "it"s. I would have said both but "too many articles and pronouns" sounds odd because generally...
by Lanval
October 17th, 2012, 10:04 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

Good, though I think it could use a few less articles. Two "it"s in a single line sort of comes at the cost of flow. Poetry lets your do wierder syntax to avoid that sort of thing. Again not fatal, it just didn't feel like the same flow as first four verses. I'd also recommend "Resple...
by Lanval
October 17th, 2012, 5:42 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Eldred's Tale
Replies: 16
Views: 4549

Re: Eldred's Tale

Act II, Scene III : Liches Looming. (In whiche there iſ muche filre & olden angliſh ſpeech) So it was that Eldred travelled West, he took with him only the survivors of Hurdleford, who refused to follow any other. Ceomyr and Vaennyn were needed at Abez; The largest ford in the area, it granted ...
by Lanval
October 16th, 2012, 8:12 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

As someone who's tried even for a fairly similar language it's incredible tricky. English and most Western European countries tend to have similar [definitely not identity though] ideas of what a rhyme is, and it's true, different stuff sounds pretty in different ways. Even French has slightly alter...
by Lanval
October 15th, 2012, 7:50 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

I think it's really good but if you want I can be really nitpicky; I love the opening and the only thing I can say about the first two verses is that the "long assault does not abate" is a little long and the alliteration is kind of strained. Weather and Weight might be a an alternative bu...
by Lanval
October 15th, 2012, 2:59 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Eldred's Tale
Replies: 16
Views: 4549

Re: Eldred's Tale

Thank you, Kanzil. I'll go back and correct instances of "Fay" when I have the time to. Act II, Scene II: Asheviere Saenvan: Hold! What is this I see? A battle rages, not far from here. Ceomyr: Let us not pass time on this. We must make haste to your father, for we owe him both explanation...
by Lanval
October 15th, 2012, 2:26 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Kanzil's poetry
Replies: 22
Views: 5620

Re: Kanzil's poetry

I like it and I look forward to more. The line, "Though nature's long assault does not abate." seems a bit odd. Though, if this city appears in the mainline, I have not played the campaign and am lacking context, but it seems like a bit of a contrast with the tree hugging elves to view a c...