Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

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Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » April 16th, 2018, 4:02 pm

Ok, I've jumped again in Wesnoth and I stumbled upon the newest version of the Quenoth Elves in Wesnoth 1.13.13. Sadly, the new units lack descriptions so I thought I could finally be useful to the project (since I can't code, I want to help in a different way).

My idea is to create new and better descriptions for them, but before I start working on that, I would like to know where to show the results of my future work and how if there's a specific manner to do it.

Of course I don't expect it will be added to the game directly (or even ever added to be honest), but if there's a way I can contribute to the world of Wesnoth, I'll start with that.
Last edited by MarkoLeSerbe on April 29th, 2018, 9:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by shadowm » April 16th, 2018, 4:14 pm

Moved to Writers’ Forum.
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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by zookeeper » April 16th, 2018, 6:44 pm

Unless it just happens that you have experience creating pull requests, this is a perfectly good place to post them.

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by The_Gnat » April 16th, 2018, 7:38 pm

Since the Quenoth elves are currently a work in progress there is certainly a chance that if you write good descriptions they will be added!

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by Celtic_Minstrel » April 17th, 2018, 3:55 am

MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 16th, 2018, 4:02 pm
Of course I don't expect it will be added to the game directly (or even ever added to be honest), but if there's a way I can contribute to the world of Wesnoth, I'll start with that.
I suppose it's nice that your expectations aren't too high, but uh... this is an open source project. If you write descriptions that are good, there's actually a very good possibility that they will be added to the game directly.
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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by Pentarctagon » April 17th, 2018, 7:02 am

A similar thing happened with the Dunefolk race description recently, in fact.
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Re: First descriptions : Tauroch units

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm

(Improvements and future descritpions will be added as I work)

Tauroch Rider : I actually don't have much more to say about this one. I found it already fairly good.

(Existing version : Taurochs are huge, hardened beasts of the desert, considered untamable by most surviving races. However, the elves' affinty with nature has allowed them to form an unlikely bond with them. While Taurochs can easily carry or pull heavy loads, their thick hides and unwavering resolution also make them formidable mounts in battle. A Tauroch guided by a skilled rider can hold off multiple enemies long enough for assistance to arrive.)

Tauroch Vanguard : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed not only to hold ground, but also to lead a charge to break enemy formations or to rally the infantry around them to hold a position while shielding and inspiring them. When mounted on a Tauroch, the Vanguards can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units. These commanders also carry great flags with them, visible from far away in the sands and great to strike fear in the heart of desert pillagers who see them on the horizon or to give signals to the troops.

(Existing version : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed not only to hold ground, but also to lead a charge to break enemy formations. Shielding and inspiring infantry behind them, these commanders can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units.)

Tauroch Flagbearer : Carrying the great and beautifully decorated banners of the Quenoth Elves into battle, the prestigious Flagbearers are masters of tactics. Years of studying the art of commanding and taking part into hunts, raids and even massive battles against orcs and necromancers have built their reputation over the years. When leading their armies on the battlefield from the back of their mighty Tauroch, they become fearsome enemies nobody should defy unless possessing vastly superior numbers.

(Existing version : Carrying the banners from the Quenoth elves into battle,the prestigious flagbearers are also masters of tactics. Any enemy commander intending on besting them on the battlefield must invariably possess vastly superior numbers)

Tauroch Stalwart : A wild Tauroch alone is already difficult enough to dislodge. However, when one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back , it is wiser to seek another path. Letting someone carry javelins on its back is not something Taurochs usually do, because they were earlier hunted by humans, orcs and other evil beings with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to really pierce their thick natural armor. Thus, for this to happen, the elf must establish an especially strong bond with the beast and a relation of unshakeable trust. Those who manage to do so become powerful defensive units which is necesarry to survive in the desert.

(Existing version : It is dificult enough to dislodge a stubborn wild tauroch. When one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back, it is wiser to seek another path.)

Tauroch Protector : It is told that once, an elf and his wounded little brother fleeing from an orcish hunting party came across a young stray tauroch on a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the older brother and the tauroch are said to have fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, as the elf had mended the tauroch's and his brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, the beast had gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried back to their village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of these mounts and riders both is undeniable.

(Existing version : It is told that once, an elf fleeing from an orcish hunting party came across a young stray tauroch on a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, they are said to have fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, as the elf had mended the tauroch's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, the beast had gently picked her up with its horns and carried back to her village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of these mounts and riders both is undeniable.)

Remark about the Tauroch Protector: The only reason why I modified the existing version is because I feeled the purpose of protecting was missing in the current one. Apart from that, I loved its concept. (In fact, I was tempted to create a legend like this for an unit but this one is already really nice).

Quenoth mystic : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. Although this magic has been altered by the new harsh environment , allowing them to control the sands instead of plants and to daze their foes with it, it is a testament to the resilience of the elves that they are able to accomplish this in a world devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strenght from. In fact, these desert shamans have learned to use the power of the sun to palliate to the lack of nature, giving them new abilities.

(Existing version : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. It is a testament to the resilience of the elves that they are able to accomplish this in a world devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strenght from.)

Quenoth Shaman : Shamans seek to maintain the elves' traditional connection with the natural world, even if stretches of sand have replaced their beloved forests, burnt by the suns so long ago. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quentoh Elves. Furthermore, they're the reminders of ancient times when the world was still covered by trees and fields, and their deepest wish is to make such times rise again one day, but for now, it's only a dream that gives hope to those who listen to the Shamans' stories.

(Existing version : Shamans seek to maintain the elves' traditional connection with the natural world. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves.)

Quenoth druid : The Quenoth Druids are primordial parts of the elvish society. They are indeed among the wisest beings walking under the twin suns and in the desert, where it's so hard to maintain even but a sparkle of nature, their vast knowledge of the natural world as well as their powerful healing abilities allow them to care for what can still be saved from the scorching heat of the long days. According to their remarkable skills, there are also the ones responsible for the worship of Eloh, the goddess of the Quenoth Elves.

(Existing version : none)

Quenoth Shyde : Even in a world devoid of forests, the Elves have not forgotten their faerie nature. Quenoth Shydes are in fact more fairy than elf and their bond with the two worlds grants them great powers over the plants as well as over the sands. Their appearance may not be as attractive as it was centuries ago because of the twin suns but these Elves still retain a great majesty and a part of mystery for the other beings of this world.

(Existing version : none)

Quenoth Sun Singer : After the Quenoth Mystics learned that the power of the suns could be wielded, some of them chose to dedicate their lives to it. Within some decades of adaptation to this new kind of magic, the first songs of the twin suns were heard in the elvish city. It took time to the elves to accept these new Sun Singers. They couldn't understand how those strange elves vould worship the very suns that had destroyed their dear woodlands, but they finally ackwownledged them when they saw their new abilites, fists imbued with fire and a powerful faerie fire.

(Exisitng version : Elves may be slower to adapt than many other races, but when they do, the results can be surprising. Where the elves of old may have sang [it should be "sung" there, no?] the song of woodlands, these elves have found their spiritual home in the light of the twin suns.)

Quenoth Sun Sylph : Stepping beyond what may have once been thought of as out of the boundaries of the faerie world, these elves have transformed into beings of light and fire, able to illuminate even the darkest of nights. Not having spent centuries exploring and perfecting their abilites as their ancetors did, it is unknown what may yet be achieved by elvenkind in the new world. One thing is sure though, these elves are terrifying creatures for the other races and even the other elves can sometimes feel uneasy near them.

(Existing version : Stepping beyond what may have once been thought of as the boundaries of the faerie world, these elves have transformed into beings of light and fire. Not having spent centuries exploring and perecting their abilites as their ancestors did, it is unknown what may yet be achieved by elvenkind in the new world).

Quenoth Scout : Only a few horses survived the Fall, most of them couldn't adapt to the desert and quickly died. Those who resisted to this new environment, however, became a whole new race, stronger than ever before. The Quenoth Scouts use them to move swiftly across the sands. Their riding skills are unmatched, and they use these to harry and incapacitate enemies.

(Existing version : The Quenoth Scouts move swiftly across the sands. Their riding skills are unmatched, these they use to harry and incapacitate enemies)

Quenoth Pathfinder : Long ago, when bows were a common weapon, for riders, turning and fleeing from an engagement was practically a certain death due to the risk of being shot in the back. Today, however, battle tactics have drastically changed and seeing a race other than elves carrying bows has become rare enough for these elusive Pathfinders to be viable units. They are masters of weakening an enemy while at the same time provoking them to chase - often into a trap.

(Existing version : In ost cases, turning and fleeing from an engagement is a risky tactic. These elusive Pathfinders, however, are masters of weakening an enemy while at the same time provoking them to chase - often into a trap)

Quenoth Outrider : Riding like the wind, these hardened explorers have become legends for the creatures living in the sands. Wielding heavy bolas and a sharp curved sword, the Outriders breeze across the sands to strike at weaker units and exposed flanks, before flying off into the sands to evade response. Nobody exactly knows how they take of their horses to be so sturdy, because it's a secret well kept by these obstinate riders.

(Existing version : Riding like the wind, Outriders breeze across the sands to strike at weaker units and exposed flanks, before flying off into the sands to evade response)

Quenoth Archer : Nothing to say about this one, it's good to me

(Existing version : With the open sands providing much less protection than their old forests did,the wide ranks of elvish archers that could once have stopped an advancing orcish horde in its tracks have all but disappeared. Instead, the few who still choose to dedicate themselves to the traditionnal weapon of their ancestors pratise the from the saddle, easily avoiding the perils of melee combat.)

Quenoth Marksman :When one sees an elvish rider wearing a hood coming at him, he knows he's probably living his last moments. The Quenoth Marksmans are elite mounted archers capable to aim with deadly accuracy while shooting volleys of arrows at full galop. Although nobody can prove it, it's probable that they have exceeded their ancestors in the art of archery.

(A marksman can loose volleys of arrows at their enemies with deadly accuracy, even at full galop.)

Quenoth fighter : Long ago, when the elves were prospering, spears were a never-to-be seen weapon among them. They prefered the much more elegant way of the sword when fighting. But the forests are no more, and the elves' numbers got reduced to a hundredth of what they once were, and the Quenoth Elves were thus forced to adapt to a difficult situation and many of them learned to use a spear and form coordinated defensive shield lines against foes, a tactic they became proficient at.

(Existing version : Fighters make up the bulk of the Quenoth warriors. Aside from being proficient in the use of the spear, they are remarkably skilled in working together and coordinating defense.)

Quenoth Warrior : After some years of training, the promoted Quenoth Fighters receive a glaive to replace their old spear, along with a bigger shield. With a glaive the Quenoth Warriors get both the advantages of a spear's range and the cutting power of a sword, making it their favourite weapon during raids, even if it's harder to use than a regular spear. With their well trained combat formations, these elves can handle even the thoughest situations without a flinch.

(Existing version : none )

Quenoth Champion : Highly respected and admired in the elvish society, the Quenoth Champions are often the ones who train the new recruits, thus giving them the best learning they could hope to receive. It's also not rare to see one of them lead the troops on the battlefield, because everyone believe in their combat skills with the glaive and their ability to organize the ranks in order to create an unbreachable line of shields.

(Existing version : none)

Quenoth Flanker : Some fighters find that their true talents lie not within rigid spear ranks, but out in the sands, striking at the flanks and rear of enemy forces. Fast and nimble, these elves can take advantage of the smallest weaknesses in enemy formations.
An uncommon thing with them is that they rely on poison to weaken the strongest foes before giving them the final blow. In other times, such slimy tactics would have been disapproved by their peers, but in such a cruel world, even the elves now acknowledge their use.

(Existing version :Some fighters find that their true talents lie not within rigid spear ranks, but out in the sands, striking at the flanks and rear of enemy forces. Fast and nimble, these elves can take advantage of the smallest weaknesses in enemy formations.)

Quenoth Ranger : Uncatchable like a snake, swift as the wind, deadly with poison and agile with the sword, the Quenoth Rangers are the doom of distracted enemies and clunky battle formations. In fact, it's thanks to them that the Fighters' formations are so efficient, because they have worked together with the Rangers to correct every possible weak point, to adapt at every possible situation. They may not be as much praised as the warriors, but they sure are as useful as them, if not even more.

(Existing version : none)

(Those are my first tries on some units, I will maybe try to translate them in French when they are finished. Feedback is appreciated to develop my work furthermore or to correct it if it's going on a wrong path. You may notice I've reused big parts of existant descriptions because I judged them valuable, I only found them short)
Last edited by MarkoLeSerbe on April 29th, 2018, 8:30 pm, edited 11 times in total.

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by zookeeper » April 17th, 2018, 8:29 pm

Oh, and when posting descriptions for units that already have one (even if it's short and simple), you might want to post it alongside the existing one, for comparison.

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » April 17th, 2018, 8:50 pm

I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.

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Re: First descriptions : Tauroch units

Post by Celtic_Minstrel » April 18th, 2018, 12:10 am

Wait, didn't someone say we didn't have names for the animals, yet here they're called taurochs? Or was it only the other animal we didn't have names for yet? Or is tauroch just a placeholder name?

Anyway, some minor critiques...
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm
Tauroch Vanguard : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed not only to hold ground, but also to lead a charge to break ennemy formations or to rally the infantry around them to hold a position while shielding and inspiring them. When mounting a Tauroch, the Vanguards can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units. These commanders also carry great flags with them, visible from far away in the sands and great to strike fear in the heart of desert pillagers who see them on the horizon or to give signals to the troops.
(emphasis mine) I think this phrasing is strange. To me it would make more sense to say something like "When mounted on a tauroch" or "From the back of a tauroch", depending on exactly what you intended.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm
Tauroch Stalwart : A wild Tauroch alone is already difficult enough to dislodge. However, when one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back , it is wiser to seek another path. Letting someone carry javelins on its back is not something Taurochs usually do, because they were earlier hunted by humans, orcs and other evil beings with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to really pierce their thick natural armor. Thus, for this to happen, the elve must establish an especially strong bond with the beast and a relation of unshakeable trust. Those who manage to do so become powerful defensive units which is necesarry to survive in the desert.
"elve" is not valid, you need to say either "elf" or "elves". The "common cause" phrasing also seems rather strange.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm
Quenoth druid : The Quenoth Druids are primordial parts of the elvish society. They are indeed among the wisest beings walking in the desert and their knowledge of the natural world is really useful in a place where it's so hard to maintain nature. They are not only guardians of knowledge and skilled doctors, they are also the ones that lead the worship to Eloh, the goddess of the Quenoth Elves.
I would say "a primordial part" rather than "primordial parts". I'm not sure exactly why that works better grammatically (as I can totally see why you wanted it plural), but to me at least, it does.

"doctors but also" should be sufficient for joining the last two phrases. Also, worship of Eloh, not to.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm
Quenoth Shyde : Even in a world devoid of forests, the Elves have not forgotten their faeric nature. Quenoth Shydes are in fact more fairies than elves and their nature grants them great powers over the plants as well as over the sands. Their appearance may not be as attractive as it was centuries ago because of the twin suns but these Elves still retain a great majesty and a part of mystery for the other beings of this world.
I've never heard of "faeric" as a word. The word "faerie" can function as either a noun or adjective, so I'd just use that instead. Also, I think singular makes more sense in the comparision – "more fairy than elf".
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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by The_Gnat » April 18th, 2018, 5:30 am

MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
April 17th, 2018, 8:03 pm
(Those are my first tries on some units,

Great job!! :D These descriptions are really good. I look forward to reading more descriptions you write!

You've done really well capturing the story and background of these units.

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Re: First descriptions : Tauroch units

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » April 18th, 2018, 1:40 pm

(emphasis mine) I think this phrasing is strange. To me it would make more sense to say something like "When mounted on a tauroch" or "From the back of a tauroch", depending on exactly what you intended.
I'm actually not sure about this one but I'll follow the advice.

"elve" is not valid, you need to say either "elf" or "elves". The "common cause" phrasing also seems rather strange.
Classic error of mine, it's been corrected. The "common cause" phrasing is exactly the same as in the existing description actually.

I would say "a primordial part" rather than "primordial parts". I'm not sure exactly why that works better grammatically (as I can totally see why you wanted it plural), but to me at least, it does.
True that it works better grammatically... I guess I've just trusted the comparison with french too much here
"doctors but also" should be sufficient for joining the last two phrases. Also, worship of Eloh, not to.
I'll try to rework that part a bit, there's place for improvement, and another error to correct.

I've never heard of "faeric" as a word. The word "faerie" can function as either a noun or adjective, so I'd just use that instead. Also, I think singular makes more sense in the comparision – "more fairy than elf".
Apparently, "faeric" doesn't exist and I'm actually surprised I used that. Anyway, now that you say it, indeed it seems to be better with the singular.

(oops, I don't know what I've done with the quotes, but it's not working, if someone could explain me how it works it would be nice :hmm: )
Last edited by Ravana on April 18th, 2018, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Start with [quote], end with [/quote]

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by Celtic_Minstrel » April 19th, 2018, 2:33 am

That just makes me wonder who wrote the previous description, because "when one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back" does not, to me, sound like a natural English sentence. I can tease out the meaning, sure, but it's a strange phrasing.
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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » April 19th, 2018, 5:37 am

About that phrasing, my guess is that the previous writer wanted to use a kind of... poetic structure? I don't know...

Anyway, new descriptions coming this evening

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Re: New descriptions for the Quenoth Elves

Post by zookeeper » April 19th, 2018, 12:49 pm

Celtic_Minstrel wrote:
April 19th, 2018, 2:33 am
That just makes me wonder who wrote the previous description, because "when one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back" does not, to me, sound like a natural English sentence. I can tease out the meaning, sure, but it's a strange phrasing.
I think I wrote all the current ones. Some of them use parts of the old units' descriptions, of course.

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