Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
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- battlestar
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Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
Spoiler covered areas are gory, read with discretion. Various portraits by Wesnoth artists.
a
Appendix stories:
Music: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/412869
1. Origin of demons:
Origin of demons:
2. Story of dwarves and troglodytae:
story of dwarves and troglodytae
3. Legend of world creation from an ancient human tome:
human tome
Disclaimer: spoiler covered areas are gory, read with discretion.
Chapter 1, part 1
part 1
part 2
part3
part 4
Scn 2
part 6
(note: most situational dependent messages are omitted)
by vonHalenbach
Music: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/259956
(Vanderspool goes to the walls)Valia: The living cowers behind their petty walls. They cannot escape our wrath!
Pikeman: Majesty! The enemy approaches!
King Absalon: So it begins.
King Absalon: General Vanderspool, ready the men.
General Vanderspool: As you wish, majesty.
General Vanderspool: Look alive, men! The enemy is at our footstep. But fear not! Our fortress is stronger than steel, protected by canyons on all sides. I say let them come!
Solders: Ahhhoh!
General Vanderspool: Now, I’m interested to meet this rumored queen of the undead. You two, come with me.
(Vanderspool goes before Valia with two cavalry guards)
(Vancerspool leaves)General Vanderspool: So the legend is true, a little girl leads the army of undead. Pah! I could poke a hole in you with just one finger.
Valia: Your delusions of adequacy amuse me. I am no helpless little child as I appear to be. No matter, you will all be dead soon.
General Vanderspool: Let’s go, men.
(Back in king’s chamber)
(Dwarves arrive)Absalon: Reginald, my advisor, how goes the destruction of nearby catacombs?
Advisor Reginald: My utmost apologies, your majesty. The men are working as fast as they could. The city has accumulated vast numbers of dead bodies over its long history, hidden away in numerous catacombs. In addition, the cleansing process itself is an enormous task. Presently, we have already destroyed dead bodies in most burial sites and catacombs. There are only two catacombs and a few burials sites remaining.
Absalon: The undead is already upon us. The remaining catacombs must be destroyed before they are discovered by the enemy. If the dead in those catacombs were to be raised, it will surely be our doom.
Reginald: I agree with your assessment, your majesty. I shall personally go to this task, so their destruction may be hastened.
(Human reinforcements led by Justin)Vanderspool: I am impressed! The dwarves made it before all others? Who would have thought their short legs would be so swift?
We should leave you to your deaths for your mockery.
Vanderspool: You misunderstand me. Nonetheless, with you and help from our other allies, we will grind those puny undead to dust, once and for all!
Well done is better than well said, let’s have at it!
(orc reinforcements led by Skarbod)Justin: My brave men, with my enlightened leadership, victory shall be ours! Our skill and valor will win us this day!
Justin: We are their harbingers. We bring true death to the undead! Death!
Roy: Death! Death! Death to the undead!
(Attempted assassination of Skarbod, the assassin was captured and did not give up any information before dying)Fear no death, fear no darkness! Arise, arise! Orcs of Draegra! We are their doom, we are their destruction! Charge! Charge! We shall celebrate victory atop the crushed bones of our enemies!
(Valia’s forces cross the castle bridge)
(The bombs go off, bridges shatter)King Absalon: The enemy knocks at our gate. Look at my soldiers. Their courage hangs by a thread.
King Absalon: Warriors of Absalon, this is our last stand! If this is to be our end, then we shall have it to be one worthy of remembrance!
Soldier: Fight to the death!
King Absalon: Engineer, make preparations to destroy the main bridges. I pray that this would destroy any undead on the bridges and near the bombs.
Engineer: Protect me! I will be ready by 2 turns.
Engineer: Success! That should hold them off for a while.
Valia: Now our only option is the northern bridge.
(Justin defeated)
(Skarbod defeated)Justin: I will fight to the death, but I dare not leaving my body behind. We must escape to fight another day.
Valia: That Justin, not only a coward himself but also the cause of cowardice in others.
Vanderpool: The king is dead! The army is breaking, all is lost. We were mere mortals caught in a tempest of unholy hate.
Skarbod: Cowards, every one of them. We orcs fight to the death!
(Victory)Valia: Stop! Spare his life.
Valia: Something about this orc strangely resonates with the gem embedded in my heart. We shall keep him as a prisoner, for now.
Valia: Victory is ours. Now only the elves remain a threat to us.
Last edited by battlestar on March 22nd, 2012, 1:03 pm, edited 15 times in total.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Any thoughts/suggestions so far?
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Last edited by battlestar on March 20th, 2012, 1:11 am, edited 13 times in total.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
do you want to write a book or what?
- averyimaginativename
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
This sounds like an excellent story...for an Arcanum module.
The gist of the story is a bit hammy - the quality is in the detail, but to carry that detail into a campaign would be too wordy and wouldn't fit the game style.
Honestly, I really do think you've got something here that could be used and used well, but I think you're doing it for the wrong game. Or as Konrad said - maybe a fan fiction.
The gist of the story is a bit hammy - the quality is in the detail, but to carry that detail into a campaign would be too wordy and wouldn't fit the game style.
Honestly, I really do think you've got something here that could be used and used well, but I think you're doing it for the wrong game. Or as Konrad said - maybe a fan fiction.
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- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Thank you for reading.
This whole thing began with some sprites I made of a Demon faction, which this story will be revolving around. Since there has never been a reference in Wesnoth before, I figured it wouldn't make sense if they just appeared out of no-where casually. So that's the reason I made the story larger than life.
As for having a heavy reading, I do plan on having the player the option of reading short or long version of the stories. In addition, I don't plan to have the textual story being the high-light of this campaign. Heaviest readings will be in the pre-scn story panels which the players can skip altogether, if they wish.
The focus will be on building an army to fight armies, with player's decisions influencing many aspects of play, and varying game play. And eventually, if I get to it, I might illustrate the story with paintings.
If you think the story could be made less "hammy", please make more specific suggestions, they will be welcomed.
This whole thing began with some sprites I made of a Demon faction, which this story will be revolving around. Since there has never been a reference in Wesnoth before, I figured it wouldn't make sense if they just appeared out of no-where casually. So that's the reason I made the story larger than life.
As for having a heavy reading, I do plan on having the player the option of reading short or long version of the stories. In addition, I don't plan to have the textual story being the high-light of this campaign. Heaviest readings will be in the pre-scn story panels which the players can skip altogether, if they wish.
The focus will be on building an army to fight armies, with player's decisions influencing many aspects of play, and varying game play. And eventually, if I get to it, I might illustrate the story with paintings.
If you think the story could be made less "hammy", please make more specific suggestions, they will be welcomed.
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Last edited by battlestar on March 20th, 2012, 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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- averyimaginativename
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I think maybe I wasn't very clear originally, I'll try to be more verbose...
On the one hand the story as you have it is good enough that it could be the highlight of the campaign. Having it somewhat secondary to the gameplay is almost an injustice to the work. On the other hand, in add-on feedback, people start to complain about "walls of text" after ~3 paragraphs, and after ~5 those complaints start getting common, which limits what you can do with the story within a campaign.
Maybe your long version/short version options will be sufficient. Personally, I like heavy text in games (in terms of both content and amount), but I'm also aware I'm in a minority.
1) Holy white mage proves a problem.
2) Ravage a few weak villages to gather troops.
3) Bitter soldiers last words are a threat to the demons, then he becomes one.
4) Arrogant necromancer needs to be destroyed so the undead can be free.
Each of these things have been done before in various campaigns. In fact, there's already one campaign does all these things in the same order.
The story as it is laid out in this thread is excellent, and the quality of the writing hides the formula (that's no bad thing - Stephen King has made millions obfuscating the same formula again and again) I just fear when abbreviated for a scenario the formula may become transparent, unless you added some kind of twist to each. The demon not being vulnerable to arcane, a willing solider, a Victor Frankenstein instead of an arrogant necromancer (these aren't great suggestions, they just demonstrate the point).
Is it your intention to make a prelude campaign from Origin of Demons, and Story of Dwarves and Troglodytae?
What I was trying to get at was that a compromise, well, compromises things.As for having a heavy reading, I do plan on having the player the option of reading short or long version of the stories. In addition, I don't plan to have the textual story being the high-light of this campaign. Heaviest readings will be in the pre-scn story panels which the players can skip altogether, if they wish.
On the one hand the story as you have it is good enough that it could be the highlight of the campaign. Having it somewhat secondary to the gameplay is almost an injustice to the work. On the other hand, in add-on feedback, people start to complain about "walls of text" after ~3 paragraphs, and after ~5 those complaints start getting common, which limits what you can do with the story within a campaign.
Maybe your long version/short version options will be sufficient. Personally, I like heavy text in games (in terms of both content and amount), but I'm also aware I'm in a minority.
I'm not sure hammy was quite the right word. Consider these four points:If you think the story could be made less "hammy", please make more specific suggestions, they will be welcomed.
1) Holy white mage proves a problem.
2) Ravage a few weak villages to gather troops.
3) Bitter soldiers last words are a threat to the demons, then he becomes one.
4) Arrogant necromancer needs to be destroyed so the undead can be free.
Each of these things have been done before in various campaigns. In fact, there's already one campaign does all these things in the same order.
The story as it is laid out in this thread is excellent, and the quality of the writing hides the formula (that's no bad thing - Stephen King has made millions obfuscating the same formula again and again) I just fear when abbreviated for a scenario the formula may become transparent, unless you added some kind of twist to each. The demon not being vulnerable to arcane, a willing solider, a Victor Frankenstein instead of an arrogant necromancer (these aren't great suggestions, they just demonstrate the point).
This sounds interesting. I look forward to the development thread to hear more.with player's decisions influencing many aspects of play, and varying game play.
Is it your intention to make a prelude campaign from Origin of Demons, and Story of Dwarves and Troglodytae?
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- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
The white mage and necromancers were meant to be fleeting characters of no importance, but I'll see what I can do to improve them. I'm counting on the game play being the biggest distraction. Do you want to try the first two scn to see what it's like?
And the entire Chapter 1 is more of a prologue, the origin of the main character. It's meant to give the feel of [acronym="Counting the appendix, at the end of the story the world would've ended 4 times over... Nukes, gods, undead, and demons"]the end[/acronym] when the actual story is just beginning. So the general plan for her was to be very evil, though not to her own fault, grow big really fast, kill a lot of ppl, then start from scratch (Which I will make clear from the start so ppl don't get mad about losing units, hopefully). I'm hoping the player will forget about the demons by the end of chapter 1. The actual army building starts on Chapter 2, and it wouldn't be the player doing the ravaging anymore. That's when demons will actually make first appearance.
So far counting 44 scenarios, 5 from Chapter 1, with player able to see at most 38 scenarios in one play through, less if picking certain actions.
I don't yet have intention to make scenarios based on the appendix stories. Origin of Demons and origin of the world may simply be a book item the player unintentionally finds, them being legends only. Story of the dwarves would have to be explained to the player as the player gets between those two factions.
This one I don't quite understand...Bitter soldiers last words are a threat to the demons, then he becomes one.
And the entire Chapter 1 is more of a prologue, the origin of the main character. It's meant to give the feel of [acronym="Counting the appendix, at the end of the story the world would've ended 4 times over... Nukes, gods, undead, and demons"]the end[/acronym] when the actual story is just beginning. So the general plan for her was to be very evil, though not to her own fault, grow big really fast, kill a lot of ppl, then start from scratch (Which I will make clear from the start so ppl don't get mad about losing units, hopefully). I'm hoping the player will forget about the demons by the end of chapter 1. The actual army building starts on Chapter 2, and it wouldn't be the player doing the ravaging anymore. That's when demons will actually make first appearance.
So far counting 44 scenarios, 5 from Chapter 1, with player able to see at most 38 scenarios in one play through, less if picking certain actions.
I don't yet have intention to make scenarios based on the appendix stories. Origin of Demons and origin of the world may simply be a book item the player unintentionally finds, them being legends only. Story of the dwarves would have to be explained to the player as the player gets between those two factions.
Spoiler:
Last edited by battlestar on June 27th, 2012, 11:32 pm, edited 7 times in total.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
maybe you just make the first part of the campaign if you can and wait for feedbacks?
i would like to play this campaign
i would like to play this campaign
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I don't think I can get it done any time soon. All this has been done over a fair bit of time, so I'm not in a hurry for anything right now.
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- averyimaginativename
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I was referring to this bit.battlestar wrote:This one I don't quite understand...Bitter soldiers last words are a threat to the demons, then he becomes one.
Anyway, I'm mostly nit-picking. If I didn't think the story was good to begin with, I wouldn't have commented at all.the dying words of a warrior caught my interest. “Someday, we’ll turn you undead types into piles of bone shards. You, and all of your kinds in that whispering marshes,” he said, moments before a skeleton warrior drove its sword into his heart. “Too bad you’ll be one of us undead types when that happens,”
I asked because I feel these two stories would make a good prologue done in the same style as Part One of Bad Moon Rising.I don't yet have intention to make scenarios based on the appendix stories
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- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I like nit-picking, that's why I posted this stuff.
I'll keep thinking and planning on those two prologues.
I see... I was having a lot of trouble with this part. I just needed some way to explain why Valia's undead all the sudden went to a swamp. Then I threw in a sentence that reflected on what happened in scn1, but I think it reads better without it. “Too bad you’ll be one of us undead types when that happens,” said I to the warrior as he gagged on his own blood.I was referring to this bit.
the dying words of a warrior caught my interest. “Someday, we’ll turn you undead types into piles of bone shards. You, and all of your kinds in that whispering marshes,” he said, moments before a skeleton warrior drove its sword into his heart. “Too bad you’ll be one of us undead types when that happens,”
I'll keep thinking and planning on those two prologues.
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LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I agree with averyimaginativename, the story doesn't have much to it, though you sure wrote alot. I don't think playing "kill the enemy leader" for the sixth time with wc's is gonna lift the story line that much. the story just seems to be: "then the ninja girl killed some more people, and then she killed some more people, and then she killed some more people." the idea of "undead chick beats up everyh body", is well, interesting, I must say, but any "beats up every body" gets more than a little repetitive. questions: in chapter four, or maybe five, why does the white mage go down so fast? and shouldn't his body be blessed, untouched? why does the humans go down so fast to wc's? and where is all the mages? how come nobody has blasted valia with a simple fireball? and what is all this babble about undeadies talking? maybe ghosts, and possibly skelies, but all?....
Guys I never thought I'd come back to this forum after 8 years this is wild
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
It's part 3, all of the narrative in this section doesn't appear anywhere in the campaign. It was a narrative of the way I saw how the scenario played out during play-testing. It was a remote village, the priest is also a village folk, not the best of the best. It's not easy to take the priest down in Hard, I was playing on Easy and got lucky. Being remote, it took them a while to even send the news to a small nearby garrison, they can't get powerful mages involved fast enough. Most of the enemy are peasants, WC can kill them fast, but peasants kill WC fairly fast too.
The story turns after the elven city. I have planned the rough draft, most of it may be hard to read yet because it's an outline with some detailed still needing to be smoothed out.
The story turns after the elven city. I have planned the rough draft, most of it may be hard to read yet because it's an outline with some detailed still needing to be smoothed out.
Spoiler:
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
wait, the only undead at this point is the gal, and why is the assasin helping the most feared person in the land?
why does such unholy things as demons and unded want holy fountain? how come the orcs or thugs didn't just kill valia?
why does such unholy things as demons and unded want holy fountain? how come the orcs or thugs didn't just kill valia?
Guys I never thought I'd come back to this forum after 8 years this is wild
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I don't remember writing him as the most feared in the land. He's just the highest ranking assassin in that one hideout at that time.
The demon prince didn't know he was a demon at that point, and he perceived the other demons to be enemies, so he actively pursued a rumor for a potential weapon to destroy the demons. While the demons were destroying everything in their path, Valia also sought after the fountain for its rumored property to restore life, she doesn't really enjoy being undead. What the fountain actually do and play in the whole picture isn't yet determined.
The thugs didn't think of killing Valia because the demons were at their throat, being villains themselves they never cared about the dead ravaging the land. Orcs would gladly pike Valia's head but they were preoccupied with a famine, thus cooperating with anyone as long as they are willing to help. It's hard to have principles on an empty stomach.
The demon prince didn't know he was a demon at that point, and he perceived the other demons to be enemies, so he actively pursued a rumor for a potential weapon to destroy the demons. While the demons were destroying everything in their path, Valia also sought after the fountain for its rumored property to restore life, she doesn't really enjoy being undead. What the fountain actually do and play in the whole picture isn't yet determined.
The thugs didn't think of killing Valia because the demons were at their throat, being villains themselves they never cared about the dead ravaging the land. Orcs would gladly pike Valia's head but they were preoccupied with a famine, thus cooperating with anyone as long as they are willing to help. It's hard to have principles on an empty stomach.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed