Wesnoth fan-fic: The Blackness Comes

[TheGreatRings]

Sergeants in command of regiments? You may need to bone up on your military terminology.

To be fair, there's no indication that the rank structure works the same way in Wesnoth as it does in real life.

... and a partridge in a pear tree. Does that list help the reader in any way?

It describes the allied army. What's out of place is that I can't recall an army containing that many powerful units ever assembled in mainline, except perhaps some of the larger battles of Northern Rebirth and the end of Heir to the Throne. Pulling together an army of that size to retalliate to the destruction of but two towns seems like a surprising display of military readiness by Wesnoth standards. Which would make their getting crushed all the more painful. I wouldn't be surprised if the bulk of the elite units for several major powers got wiped out their.

This should be addressed in any future chapters. The losses described above sound really, really bad. This could also be used as an explanation for the rather odd absence of mages in the battle. Perhaps the mages somehow foretold that the battle would end in disaster, so kept their forces out of it to act as a reserve later.

Crystal Dragon Jesus? The Powers That Be™? Let's not.

Why not?