Rebirth_in_Nature - RPG Campaign

Discussion and development of scenarios and campaigns for the game.

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Shiki
Developer
Posts: 265
Joined: July 13th, 2015, 9:53 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Rebirth_in_Nature - RPG Campaign

Post by Shiki » October 18th, 2018, 1:46 pm

The feedback link doesn't work. Try this in your _server.pbl:
[feedback]
topic_id=48353
[/feedback]
Introduction to WML filtering and WML variables.

Rhylla
Posts: 24
Joined: March 6th, 2013, 1:38 am

Re: Rebirth_in_Nature - RPG Campaign

Post by Rhylla » December 10th, 2018, 12:35 am

Some dialogue suggestions.

For the intro:
First off, I will say that the ideas expressed in the intro are beautiful. As a writer myself, the actual meaning you were striving to put into words was lovely. But the words that you use to convey the ideas don't always work. This is quite understandable, as English isn't your native tongue. But as it is mine, I can give you some suggestions on how to get your point across better.

The intro's probably the most important part of your story, since that's the first impression your readers are going to get. It's also the most awkward linguistically for you, probably because it's an unbroken monologue. I have some suggestions below, but those are mostly grammatical errors. If you care about the flow and structure of the intro, I can give you some ideas on how to help with that as well.

"In my deepest slumber was hearing voices of resentment" ---> "In my deepest slumber, I heard voices of resentment"
"remnants of a grieful song for the beloved lost" not sure what you're trying to say there. Do you mean they were singing a song for the lost/dead souls? Then something like "singing a mournful song for the beloved lost" would work much better. Or "singing a mournful song for those they had lost".
"Suffering while thousand blades" ---> either "suffering while a thousand blades" or "suffering while thousands of blades"
"As soul that pulls itself outside their intended direction" again, not quite sure what you mean. I'd suggest something like "As a soul that pulled itself away from the intended direction"
"Under the starfull sky" ---> "under the star-filled sky"
"an old acquaintance, pleading for help to anyone" there isn't anything grammatically incorrect with this, but I personally feel like "an old acquaintance who pleaded for anyone to help, even the spirits of the dead" is much clearer and flows better.

The first dialogue scenario:
"others were focused to questioning Yrael" ---> "others were focused on questioning Yrael"
"the Antechamber of Worlds.." either take off a period or add in another.
"But we already lost the periphery" ---> "but we've/we have already lost the periphery"
"We've all came because of that promise" ---> "we've all come because of that promise" or "all of us have come because of that promise"
"Its cold...cold..." ---> "it's cold...cold..."
"...search for Celenir, we need..." ---> "...search for Celenir. We need..."

I don't want to overload you with too many suggestions, so I'll stop there. I do have a question, though - I can't summon anything, even after I've been given the option in the Drowned City scenario. Other people seem to have the same problem, so I guess it's a coding issue?

FortTell
Posts: 11
Joined: April 8th, 2018, 10:49 am

Re: Rebirth_in_Nature - RPG Campaign

Post by FortTell » December 29th, 2018, 5:33 pm

What are you supposed to do in the Lone Farm sidequest? I got it from Adriath when searching for Kazur's seals, went to the farm and did the quest
Spoiler:
which pointed me towards the
Spoiler:
I think? But when I went there, I found no one that I could interact with concerning the sidequest, even though I have looked pretty much around the whole map. And I cannot finish the quest by speaking to Adriath, too.

Mzwa
Posts: 1
Joined: July 5th, 2019, 12:19 pm

Re: Rebirth_in_Nature - RPG Campaign

Post by Mzwa » July 5th, 2019, 4:11 pm

I can't seem to find my way out of 'Rebirth-The Chosen Glade' I'm currently on turn 136. I'd be saying I'm overlooking something if it was not for the Lua error messages that I'm getting. Here are some snap shots https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/ ... sp=sharing

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