Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

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Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » January 29th, 2012, 3:10 pm

If there are any scenario/campaign developers who are not native English speakers, I'm willing to go over your dialogue/story screens and correct spelling and grammar for you.

Would that be useful for anyone?

Note: I won't necessarily play your scenario/campaign and I won't automatically edit the content of the dialogue (though will raise any potential issues I find). To that end, I will need the dialogue in a text file in an easy to read format. Just upload the file to this thread and I'll work on it when I have time.
Last edited by Daravel on August 29th, 2015, 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby perseo » January 29th, 2012, 4:15 pm

Are you talking seriously? In that case, I'll attach a .txt file tomorrow after collecting all the dialogue.
¡Salud!
"I was pulling a barrow, when I saw a stalking horse
what a beautiful day!- he said- for visiting a red herring
and getting hoarse."
Working on this campaign: The septentrional tower
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » January 29th, 2012, 4:26 pm

Yep, I'm serious. Although, I can't promise to have it done within 'X amount of time'.

My only qualification is being a native English speaker, I will do my best at correcting any spelling, grammar or sentence structure issues. If there is anything where I'm unsure of the meaning then I'll refer back to you for the context.
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Anonymissimus » January 29th, 2012, 4:59 pm

Note that wmllint does well at spellchecking, and that it's using American English.
projects (BfW 1.12):
A Simple Campaign: campaign draft for wml startersPlan Your Advancements: mp mod
The Earth's Gut: sp campaignSettlers of Wesnoth: mp scenarioWesnoth Lua Pack: lua tags and utils
updated to 1.8 and handed over: A Gryphon's Tale: sp campaign
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Adamant14 » January 29th, 2012, 6:14 pm

If you realy have the time and will, here is my first scenario:
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » January 29th, 2012, 7:40 pm

Here you go. There weren't too many problems with the text.
I haven't (I hope) altered the content or style, let me know if you want me to look at it as well.
Attachments
Antar_1st_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(15.88 KiB) Downloaded 235 times
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Adamant14 » January 29th, 2012, 10:11 pm

Wow, so fast :)
Thanks

Daravel wrote:I haven't (I hope) altered the content or style, let me know if you want me to look at it as well.


If you find better words for anything I wrote, any suggestion is welcome.

I attache my second scenario.
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » January 30th, 2012, 2:10 am

Here you go.

These two lines confused me:
speaker="Gelphrad"
message= _ "You don’t get me... huh, humans! You are not under Lord Veogwyns command."
- "You don't get me" - what is Gelphrad referring to? Obviously, I am not playing the campaign so I am missing the context, but I presume he is talking to the Un-dead, then from "huh, humans!" he then begins to talk to the player? However, "You don't get me" doesn't make much sense as it doesn't refer to anything specific.

speaker=narrator
message= _ "After all the compliments had been resolved."

- Compliments is not the right word here, but I am not sure exactly what you are trying to say. I think it should be "After all the issues/problems/conflicts had been resolved".
Attachments
Antar_2nd_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(12.1 KiB) Downloaded 245 times
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Adamant14 » January 30th, 2012, 2:45 am

Daravel wrote:Here you go.

These two lines confused me:
speaker="Gelphrad"
message= _ "You don’t get me... huh, humans! You are not under Lord Veogwyns command."
- "You don't get me" - what is Gelphrad referring to? Obviously, I am not playing the campaign so I am missing the context, but I presume he is talking to the Un-dead, then from "huh, humans!" he then begins to talk to the player? However, "You don't get me" doesn't make much sense as it doesn't refer to anything specific.


In this scenario are three leaders
Lord Veogwyn (good guys)
attacked by Un-deads (bad guys)
and relief comes from Lord Antar (good guys)

Gelphrad is one of Lord Veogwyns people.
One of Antars soldiers finds Gelphrad hidden somewhere.
Gelphrads first thought is the Un-dead has found him.
Then he sees that a human has found him,not a Un-dead.
But it is a stranger, not on of Lord Veogwyns soldiers.
Its one of Lord Antars soldiers. A stranger to Gelphrad.


Daravel wrote:speaker=narrator
message= _ "After all the compliments had been resolved."

- Compliments is not the right word here, but I am not sure exactly what you are trying to say. I think it should be "After all the issues/problems/conflicts had been resolved".

The compliments Lord Veogwyn say to Lord Antar, something like etiquette.
Before Lord Antar comes to the point he ask him for help. :hmm:


Thanks a lot for correcting my scenarios. :)
One thing:
It would be a huge time savings for me if you would mark the revised sentences, (with a sign like ! or * or what you want)
Edit: Or just delete the sentences I don`t have to change.
so I do not need to compare each single sentence.
Not the scenarios you have already done.
But if you would like to help me again.
Thanks a lot.

I attached some more scenarios
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » February 1st, 2012, 1:08 pm

Scenario 3, 4 and 5

I'll edit to upload the rest of the parts as and when.

I have deleted any lines I have not changed (except in the first 10-15 lines in scenario 3 I forgot so you will need to check them, apologies). So only the ones included in the file have been changed.

A few notes:
This line: speaker=narrator message=_ "After the scout has endet" from scenario 5, said after the scout returns from the Orcs to Antar, the scour talks to Antar then this message comes up - Not sure what it's supposed to mean.

You use both Orks and Orcs. While Orks is technically correct Wesnoth uses the spelling Orcs - Although, there is no problem if you want to use Orks, but I would change them all to the same spelling. Same with Dwarfs and Dawrves, both are correct but you should use one or the other

You use '...' a lot, and I just wanted to clarify its usage for you:
- You don't need any punctuation after it, you often type it like this... . - you don't need the full stop
- ... is used when a sentence is not completed, usually because the speaker was interrupted, for dramatic effect (Then the door crashed open and revealed...) or because the speaker is referring to something or making a point (look over there... or I wouldn't want to walk over there anyway...)

However, I'm by no means an English expert and it may have other uses.

Adamant14 wrote:speaker="Gelphrad"
message= _ "You don’t get me... huh, humans! You are not under Lord Veogwyns command."
- "You don't get me" - what is Gelphrad referring to? Obviously, I am not playing the campaign so I am missing the context, but I presume he is talking to the Un-dead, then from "huh, humans!" he then begins to talk to the player? However, "You don't get me" doesn't make much sense as it doesn't refer to anything specific.

Gelphrad is one of Lord Veogwyns people.
One of Antars soldiers finds Gelphrad hidden somewhere.
Gelphrads first thought is the Un-dead has found him.
Then he sees that a human has found him,not a Un-dead.
But it is a stranger, not on of Lord Veogwyns soldiers.
Its one of Lord Antars soldiers. A stranger to Gelphrad.


Ok, got it. Change "don't" to "won't"

Adamant14 wrote:speaker=narrator
message= _ "After all the compliments had been resolved."

The compliments Lord Veogwyn say to Lord Antar, something like etiquette.
Before Lord Antar comes to the point he ask him for help. :hmm:



So, the narrator is saying: The characters have a little pleasant chat, and then move onto to the serious conversation about what's going on?
To be honest, it isn't really needed but you could change it to
"After pleasantries had been exchanged, they moved into serious discussion"
Attachments
Antar_5th_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(12.04 KiB) Downloaded 189 times
Antar_4th_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(5.52 KiB) Downloaded 173 times
Antar_3rd_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(12.14 KiB) Downloaded 199 times
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
Daravel
 
Posts: 276
Joined: August 30th, 2008, 10:39 pm
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Adamant14 » February 1st, 2012, 3:47 pm

Daravel wrote:A few notes:
This line: speaker=narrator message=_ "After the scout has endet" from scenario 5, said after the scout returns from the Orcs to Antar, the scour talks to Antar then this message comes up - Not sure what it's supposed to mean.

I better use:
"After the scout had finished his report."
What do you think?
Daravel wrote:You use both Orks and Orcs. While Orks is technically correct Wesnoth uses the spelling Orcs - Although, there is no problem if you want to use Orks, but I would change them all to the same spelling. Same with Dwarfs and Dawrves, both are correct but you should use one or the other

OK, I use Orks and Dwarves from now on.
Daravel wrote:You use '...' a lot, and I just wanted to clarify its usage for you:
- You don't need any punctuation after it, you often type it like this... . - you don't need the full stop
- ... is used when a sentence is not completed, usually because the speaker was interrupted, for dramatic effect (Then the door crashed open and revealed...) or because the speaker is referring to something or making a point (look over there... or I wouldn't want to walk over there anyway...)

However, I'm by no means an English expert and it may have other uses.

Thanks for pointing me this. There is no other meaning than this you explained.
Daravel wrote:
Adamant14 wrote:speaker=narrator
message= _ "After all the compliments had been resolved."

The compliments Lord Veogwyn say to Lord Antar, something like etiquette.
Before Lord Antar comes to the point he ask him for help. :hmm:

So, the narrator is saying: The characters have a little pleasant chat, and then move onto to the serious conversation about what's going on?
To be honest, it isn't really needed but you could change it to
"After pleasantries had been exchanged, they moved into serious discussion"

I will use:
"After pleasantries had been exchanged, they moved into serious discussion"

This is exactly what I meant.
Thank you :)
message= _ "Behind these mountains to the west, lies the territory of the elves."
speaker="Careonryn"
message= _ "And north of us, is the realm of the Dwarves."

elves is here uncapitalized and Dwarves is capitalized.
Is this correctly? :hmm:

Thanks a lot for revising my words.
I need your help badly, don't you think? :)
Last edited by Adamant14 on February 2nd, 2012, 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » February 1st, 2012, 3:56 pm

"After the scout had finished his report."

That is fine :)

Elves, Dwarves, Orc, Humans etc. Always capitalised. I think I just made a mistake in the bit you quoted.
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby perseo » February 1st, 2012, 4:17 pm

Since my silence made Adamant14 believe that he bothered me I want to say that I'm waiting till I correct some things I came across when compiling my campaign dialogues.
¡Salud!
"I was pulling a barrow, when I saw a stalking horse
what a beautiful day!- he said- for visiting a red herring
and getting hoarse."
Working on this campaign: The septentrional tower
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Daravel » February 1st, 2012, 4:28 pm

Scenario's 6 and 7 :)

No problem Perseo :)

Edit: Change Un-dead to Undead. I thought it was two words, it is not :)
Attachments
Antar_7th_Scenario - Revised.rtf
(9.24 KiB) Downloaded 211 times
Antar_6th_Scenario- Revised.rtf
(7.91 KiB) Downloaded 179 times
Dialgoue editing for non-native English speakers - I will edit your scenario/campaign dialogue
I can also help re-write your campaign dialogue, drop me a PM (Completed projects: The Sojournings of Grog)
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Re: Dialogue editing for non-native English speakers

Postby Adamant14 » February 2nd, 2012, 11:59 am

Here is scenario #8 :)
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