Ruin A Wish: Short stories

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Flameslash
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Flameslash » September 7th, 2012, 6:19 pm

Granted. You go to buy it, but by the time you get there, the price has increased by seventy four thousand times. Oh, and they are made illegal and you are arrested as you leave the shop, and imprisoned in a now reopened Alcatraz, where you are beaten to death by your fellow convicts.

I wish for a really good, indestructible, unstealable, legal, cheap, non dangerous, Laptop.

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TheScribe
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » September 7th, 2012, 6:41 pm

Granted, but on your way to the store, you take part in a car crash with a semi-truck. After getting out of the hospital, you head to the store again. You enter the store and make your purchase. After standing for three hours in line, you walk home. (cause you have no car) During the trip you're run off the sidewalk by an angry bicyclist. Once you get home, you open it and find that the only power cord compatible with the computer is illegal, emits poisonous fumes, costs thousands of dollars, breaks upon being touched, and doesn't stay connected.

Did I mention that the battery on the laptop isn't charged?

I wish for a really good, indestructible, unstealable, legal, cheap, non dangerous tablet PC to be delivered to my home. With a power cord that meets the same regulations.
Sorta on a break from the forums ATM, have been for a while. If I was doing something for/with you and I haven't recently, that's why, I will be back soon hopefully.

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Into-Jesus
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Into-Jesus » September 7th, 2012, 7:15 pm

Granted, but the box is made of radioactive waste. You use the computer immediately, thus contaminating it. You eventually die from exposure, and everyone who comes into contact with this stupid computer that keeps popping up dies too.

I wish for my house to always be clean.
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TheScribe
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » September 7th, 2012, 7:22 pm

Granted, but you have to work all day to keep it so. Eventually, after you pull your back out from all that cleaning, you make the decision to hire a maid. After searching, you find none. Apparently being a maid is demeaning...

Anyway, you continue working yourelf to death slowly. Eventually, you find a cleaning/housekeeping crew, but the price is up the wazoo. (I love that term, because it means absoulutely nothing) You pay for it, and eventually go broke. After the foreclosure, your house is bought by the biggest slob in existence. But it's not your house anymore, so your wish has no effect.

I wish I could beat Dead Water. (I'm not good with mermen)
Sorta on a break from the forums ATM, have been for a while. If I was doing something for/with you and I haven't recently, that's why, I will be back soon hopefully.

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Flameslash
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Flameslash » September 7th, 2012, 10:13 pm

You play Dead Water, and are one click from completing it, when your computer freezes. So you hit the game on the screen until in breaks and your fingers are bleeding badly. You go to the hospital to get the screen bits out, but on the way the Mafia do a drive by shooting and you bleed out in the street.

I wish for a really good, indestructible, unstealable, legal, cheap, non dangerous, safely acquirable Laptop with the accessories, programs, etcetera. following the same rules.

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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Twilight_Alchemist » September 24th, 2012, 4:34 am

Arise, Arise from the depth of the Forum Games section.

Granted, you get the computer delivered to you, but the person who delivers it is a dalek who then exterminates you for ordering a expensive computer that cost the universe billions of millions of thousands of hundreds of dollars in cash to make and after exterminating you they steal and sell off all you possessions to repay the universe but that is not enough so they exterminate everyone in the Milky Way and sell the Milky Way for profit. Congratulations! You destroyed the galaxy. :whistle:

I wish I had uploaded my campaign before my computer crashed.

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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » September 24th, 2012, 12:23 pm

Granted. Your campaign is downloaded by almost all the wesnoth playrs in existence. You are hailed as one of the great UMC authors. Your campaign goes mainline. Sadly, nobody noticed that your campaign had a fatal bug that only takes effect as a mainline campaign, not as an add-on. Every time somebody downloads [acronym=Once it's released]1.12.0[/acronym] their computer crashes. Congratulations, the dev team wastes precious time to fix your bug, thus not taking their limited time to update other bug fixes. Wesnoth fades into nonexistence...

I wish for three more wishes.
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Drakefriend » September 24th, 2012, 12:43 pm

Granted. However, these wishes are not of your choice.
First, you are granted the wish of ultimate championship in Tiitowre-eworptjqw. This game, however, has been extinct for eons, and was only played in an extremly distant point of the universe. Besides, your anatomy is wrong for it.
Second, you are granted the wish of an immense chunk of land. Which is located in Atlantis, which does not exist.
And finally, you are granted the wish of having a canon character in the Battle for Wesnoth named after you! It's a goblin in an enemy's starting army! Yo do not get any dialogue, however.

I wish to become a immortal and invincible deity, who lives and explores the universe happily (according to my understanding of happiness, taking into account changes in perspective before, during and after my apotheosis) for all eternity.
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According to the quiz 100% Silver Mage (85% Archmage, 75% Shyde, 67% Flameheart and Ancient Wose,58% Assassin, Troll Warrior and Berserker). And my top score is exactly how I see myself.

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Flameslash
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Flameslash » September 24th, 2012, 3:59 pm

Granted. You live happily as a deity for millenia, until the universe ends, and you float about as loose particles, happy because of the magic of the wish.

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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » September 24th, 2012, 5:58 pm

You forgot to make a wish...
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Flameslash
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Flameslash » September 24th, 2012, 9:11 pm

Oops.

I wish to die.

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Drakefriend
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Drakefriend » September 25th, 2012, 5:46 am

Granted. You will die... just when you thought you had finally found luck and happiness in life and started to appreciate your life. To make things worse, it is one of the most cruel deaths possible, far worse than crucification , impalement, or scaphism (you probably do not want to know what that is), and you will not pass out. Unfortunately, it turns out that there is an afterlife, and they do not like suicides at all.

I wish to permanently reverse all the enviromental destruction caused by humanity (human extinction/retconning out considered acceptible result).
Unofficial UMC Translator
Comaintainer of EoM
According to the quiz 100% Silver Mage (85% Archmage, 75% Shyde, 67% Flameheart and Ancient Wose,58% Assassin, Troll Warrior and Berserker). And my top score is exactly how I see myself.

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TheScribe
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » September 25th, 2012, 2:53 pm

Granted. All signs of humans altering the earth in any way are gone, and will never come back. Now, since anything being removed from the earth would be considered destruction, no plants are ever destroyed. And even though no computers or anything technologically advanced exist, nobody cares. A tear is shed for Wesnoth, but it is worth it for the perfect eco-friendly world. Sadly, since nothing of the earth can be destroyed by humans, weeds grow over all the terrain. Rabid rabbits populate the entire world and kill off the entire world population of humans. No medicine can be formed, as plucking even one leaf off of a plant to make a cure would be a form of destruction. So, humanity is wiped out of existence. However, you said that was acceptable. So, the world continues to function without us. However, without the humans to be afraid of, animals start doing exactly what you wanted people not to do. Entire forests are leveled by elephants. Gophers dig holes and throw valuble resources down, well, a gopher hole. The death toll of the weaker species skyrockets without humans to keep the stronger animals in line. Once the weaker species are all gone, the stronger animals start fighting each other, eventually to their utter demise. With all forms of life gone from the planet, plants start to rule. The rainflow continues at it's normal rate, even though there are now significantly less creatures to drink it. Hence, floods start. Now, since most plants can't live submerged in water, they die off. With nothing left at all to absorb the water, it continues rising until it reaches the atmosphere, breaking a hole through the barrier of gravity, thus sucking all the water into space. Earth is now an uninhabitable wasteland. (yes, I know this ruin is unrealistic, but so was your wish)

I wish "DC Talk" would get back together. (technically they haven't broken up, they're just taking a break)
Sorta on a break from the forums ATM, have been for a while. If I was doing something for/with you and I haven't recently, that's why, I will be back soon hopefully.

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Flameslash
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Flameslash » September 26th, 2012, 6:25 pm

DC Talk get back together, and you rejoice. You and your friends who also like DC Talk throw a party, and while you are there you get drunk and do unspeakable things. Your friends all move, even the ones who only heard about your deeds, and change their phone numbers. You are heartbroken, and vow to never drink again, and you hate DC Talk because of the painful memories.

I wish to live a better than average life.

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Dugi
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Dugi » September 26th, 2012, 10:28 pm

Granted. You will be a star in popular music. You will have to wear make up, ridiculous clothes, people will love you, but your hobbies will be different, you will have no freedom, because the media will require you to do what they want, you will hate the crap you would be singing, paparazzi will chase you, and after all, all people enough grown up to know what a money factory pop music is will hate you. You will seek redemption in alcohol and weed, you will try some stronger stuff then, say what you really think about the blockheads listening to your songs, and you will finally die, abandoned by media and fans, alone, and with no legacy.

I want to discover the secret of immortality by scientific means.

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