Ruin A Wish: Short stories

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Finrod
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Finrod » November 3rd, 2011, 11:55 pm

Granted, you suddenly find everything everyone says to be inexplicably funny. You are constantly ROFL and LOL-ing, soon you start racking up a long list of libraries that have kicked you out multiple times and banned you for disturbing the public. You lose friends because you always laugh when they pour out their woes to you. You still find this inexplicably funny and write an autobiography on how funny it was, which makes all your remaining friends desert you. You lose your job because your boss doesn't like people enjoying their selves too much. You end up dying homeless, friendless, and laughing.

I wish for The US government create a cabinet position called Pizza Eater with a 100k salary and assign it to me for life.

(I didn't break any of the new rules, did I? there's too many to remember now)
Semper Fidelis! USMC all the way.

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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Great_Mage_Atari » November 5th, 2011, 4:26 am

It is granted. Mr. Barack Obama calls you on his personal iPhone (because you know he just had to get one) and asks you to come to D.C. and become a Cabinet member. Oh, but this is not just any Cabinet position. It is for the new "Lifetime Pizza Eater" opening. The job is simple. Pay some random guy who loves pizza to sit around in the White House and eat pizza. Sounds great, right? Benefits upon benefits. Health-care exceeding even the President's! Free stuff, like t-shirts and other miscellaneous items! But, alas, it was not meant to be. Michelle Obama, the wife of Barack Obama (obviously), calls you out on being an unhealthy eater. And, as most Americans know, Michelle is crazy about healthy eating, with all of her great books that probably less than [insert relative fictional percentage here] of Americans have actually read (we like movies more). She starts to protest your position, calling you a "saucy slob" and a "pepperoni perpetrator." Plus, after the word gets out about your $100,000 a year salary and the insane benefits that you obtain from it, people start to mob outside the White House. The "We are the 99%!" protesters protest your salary and claim that you are a part of the "1%" in America, or the "Super Rich." How scary it is for you to look out a window and see some American youths dressed in clown costumes and those 60's round sunglasses making strange (but not offensive) hand gestures whenever that crazy dude in the front speaks. The coupled power of a health-crazed First Lady and some hippie-like, senseless, and ironically jobless protestors are enough to bring attention to the White House's Cabinet members. They advise the President to end your job immediately before all heck breaks loose. Obama is reluctant to make a change (ironic, is it not?). He says that people will just have to deal with it. No sooner said than done before Joe Biden is wedgied outside his manor. Oh poor Joe. He never saw that little man painted in gold and wearing a diaper coming. So sad. Obama makes the decision. You are kicked from the Cabinet and forced back into the 99%. Guess you'll just have to smile and bear it with the rest of us, eh?

I wish I could come up with an epic that would be really popular and sell tons of copies worldwide.

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Drakefriend
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Drakefriend » November 8th, 2011, 3:00 pm

Granted. You suddendly are inspired, receiving the perfect epic. You have to write it down!
No one has ever written something that monumental. It has the most elaborate language, the best developed plot, the most fascinating characters in the history of epoi, if not humanity. Or the universe. Of course it is a best seller. The first edition has been sold within a month. The first movie based on it starts to be filmed the next year. You are awarded the Nobel Price for Literature.
Not that you really mind, as actually the "inspiration" was beginning schizophrenia, and it quickly worsens. Soon you have to be declared a ward and to be institutionalised.

I wish I was sent an archive of the original forums.wesnoth.org Ruin A Wish thread.
Unofficial UMC Translator
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According to the quiz 100% Silver Mage (85% Archmage, 75% Shyde, 67% Flameheart and Ancient Wose,58% Assassin, Troll Warrior and Berserker). And my top score is exactly how I see myself.

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powershot
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by powershot » November 8th, 2011, 10:12 pm

Granted, you are Pm'd it. It is great right. You save and keep the files. Then someone(an opposer of Ruin a wish) becomes a mod. He deletes all remnants of Ruin a Wish. He sends you to court but you get away since you were just trying to make people happy. But now your user says restricted, and you no longer have the same privliges. You can never post in the Game thread again since the mod is worried you upload the dreaded, RUIN A WISH! :twisted:

I wish for a long, happy, good, that isn't interfered by anybody unless I need help.
My new account is: Power_Pixel_Wannabe. Yea. Yea.... Why are you still reading this? What the heck m8? You have some kind of problem? Yea. I draw. NO I'M NOT 5 ANYMORE!!! Little brats.
The heck m8? I thought you left... No seriously... go... serious...
ok bye m8. I'm serious.

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Boldek
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Boldek » November 9th, 2011, 7:51 pm

Granted. You have along, happy good, undefined. My computer translates this, and decides that you should have a long happy good gerbil, that feeds on humans. Hey, the gerbils happy.



I wish I could have all the time I wanted to program and type for all my favorite games
What's the point of a signature anyway?
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Hulavuta
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Hulavuta » November 28th, 2011, 8:47 pm

Granted. You devote your whole life to creating these games and eventually, you enter the digital world you've created and become the god of your world. However, the subjects aren't too fond of you. (You've seen Tron?)

Anyways, I wish for my Das Keyboard to hurry up and arrive.
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Drakefriend
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Drakefriend » November 29th, 2011, 11:04 am

Granted, however, that name does not make sense, as das is German for the, so you want your the Keyboard, which is gramatically incorrect, so you are forced to send it back. You are infuriated- such because this little mistake, you shall not get your property? You spam me with hate-pms and design campaigns where Drakefriend is the name of a terribly vile but incredibly incompetent villain who dies in a appropiatly horrific way. In the end, you find me, but I spoil your assasination attempt. You are sent to prison for a long time, having access to neither Wesnoth nor Dem Keyboard.
Oh, and don't forget that the new preferred layout is that of a short story (maybe I should put it into the title?)

I wish to become a diety.
Unofficial UMC Translator
Comaintainer of EoM
According to the quiz 100% Silver Mage (85% Archmage, 75% Shyde, 67% Flameheart and Ancient Wose,58% Assassin, Troll Warrior and Berserker). And my top score is exactly how I see myself.

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Boldek
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Boldek » November 29th, 2011, 7:00 pm

Granted. Unfortunately, you wished for a diety not a deity, so instead of gaining godhood, you instead are the patron saint of anorexics.

I wish for the old ruin a wish thread to be reopened.
What's the point of a signature anyway?
The cake is a lie!

uncleshelby
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by uncleshelby » November 29th, 2011, 9:14 pm

Granted. It is locked again, and then, for good measure, every single Moderator on the Wesnoth Forums hops on and locks Ruin A WIsh, version 2.0. And then, for even more good measure, they also create a thread entitled "Ruin A WIsh, version 3.0", and lock that.

I wish I could afford a Das Keyboard Ultimate Model S Silent.
Timshel

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powershot
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by powershot » November 29th, 2011, 11:25 pm

You afford it. Then you start spending in any way you can. Now, you're a smart person. So you invest in an oil company, apple stock, and backs. Sweet move. But you drill and the oil you find is 5 miles deep( in land) and there's not much of it. No you still have your stock. But just then, apple takes all their money and stock prices shoot down to almost nothing. Then inflation comes along and puts your money in the bank down to ten dollars. Sorry man, you should'a bought candy.

I wish for the title of this thread to be: "Ruin a wish, with a short story!:P"
My new account is: Power_Pixel_Wannabe. Yea. Yea.... Why are you still reading this? What the heck m8? You have some kind of problem? Yea. I draw. NO I'M NOT 5 ANYMORE!!! Little brats.
The heck m8? I thought you left... No seriously... go... serious...
ok bye m8. I'm serious.

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Boldek
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Re: Ruin A Wish, version 2.0

Post by Boldek » November 30th, 2011, 12:47 am

Granted. Drakefriend names it so, and everyone must write ashort story measureing in lenght from 10 to 20 pages at least. The thread becomes hundreds of pages long, due to each post taking a page, and the moderators heartlessly take out .22 locks and put it out its misery, prompting every one of these faithful patrons to chase you down and give you a piece of their minds.


I wish for someone to comment on my campaign, and I don't care if they just post to insult my mom, send death threats, spam my thread until it gets locked, someone puts the killing curse in a spoiler and someone gets zapped, prompt a zombie invasion, WWIII, I just wanna see what would happen if someone posted there.
What's the point of a signature anyway?
The cake is a lie!

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TheScribe
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » June 18th, 2012, 11:35 pm

Granted, one person comments on your campaign, but the post is cut short. The subscribe button fails to work. Hence you spend the rest of you life checking your topic for the end of an irrelevant post that will never come.

I wish my old laptop worked.

P.S. What campaign is it?
P.P.S. Last post November 29th, 2011? This is slightly old...
Sorta on a break from the forums ATM, have been for a while. If I was doing something for/with you and I haven't recently, that's why, I will be back soon hopefully.

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Into-Jesus
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Into-Jesus » June 19th, 2012, 2:46 pm

Granted, you took it in to Geek Squad, and it now works. But now it works too hard and makes you look bad by comparison.

I wish that BFW would be more fun than ever.
"The problem with Internet quotes is that you can never tell when they're true." - Ben Franklin

On Wesbreak

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TheScribe
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by TheScribe » June 19th, 2012, 2:55 pm

Granted, Battle for Wesnoth is now more fun than it ever has been. But now your past experiences are boring in comparison. You realize that up till now your life's been a waste. You now refuse to play it for fear of it becoming even more fun and you lose even more good memories.

I wish for a wireless keyboard for my computer.
Sorta on a break from the forums ATM, have been for a while. If I was doing something for/with you and I haven't recently, that's why, I will be back soon hopefully.

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Frogger5
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Frogger5 » June 20th, 2012, 3:00 am

Granted, you manage to find the latest and greatest wireless keyboard for a great price on a website, it takes a while to arrive, but eventually it does. But the keyboard is actually an experimental model, running off a new wireless technology that was banned from production as it caused serious health problems. The one you bought was smuggled out of a factory, and had many of it's more expensive parts removed, and upon turning it on, you immediately expose your body to the radiation of the unprotected materials inside. A brain tumour develops, but you fail to realise the problem before it's too late. In a matter of weeks, and after several life-saving surgery attempts, you die.
Not only that, but the keyboard wasn't actually compatible with your computer to begin with.

I wish that I could get a Foursevens torch at half the price.
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