Ruin A Wish

[Finrod]

Granted, Communist Russia takes over the world, and ushers in World Peace, making weapons obsolete... "Unless the struggle for peace makes the use of weapons necessary."


I wish to be a master at kong-fu, ju-jitsu, karate, and any and all other martial arts forms, so I can protect my piles of pizza from the Italian mobs. ( Just try to get my pizza now! I'm mafia-proof! )

[Drakefriend]

Granted, they call their filials in America for help.

I wish I was promoted to Translator.

[Finrod]

Granted, you are promoted to Wesnoth Translator for Obscure Dialects of Papua New Guinea.


I wish more people would watch Jackie Chan movies, so that they would know that kong-fu alone could stop any pizza purloiners no matter their nationality. Not to mention Kong-fu, Ju-jitsu, and karate all at the same time. ( My pizza is still safe )

[Drakefriend]

Granted, but they call their collegues from the Yakuza and the Triads. Besides that they now have all your martial artists in their arsenal, tgey decide to teach each other too. And they also exercise swordplay, fencing, boxing, wrestling and snow-ball fight and use stolen coilguns and laser rifles. They are far more versatile then you and they are far more then you. Finally they overwhelm you and eat all your pizza, every other eadable thing in your house and steal all your valuables.

I wish I was perfectly fluent in Latin, Ancient Greek, Proto-Germanic, Old English, Ancient Egyptian and obscure Papua languages, without the loss of any ability, knowledge or memory I ever possessed.

[Great_Mage_Atari]

Granted. The US government (this seems to be a recurring topic for me, isn't it?) comes and takes you away, believing that you are a spy from an unknown organization set out to do some unknown (but possibly terrible) things (like steal Finrod's pizza ). I mean, how else would you know all of those languages? Only spies speak Latin, Ancient Greek, Proto-Germanic, Old English, Ancient Egyptian and obscure Papua languages, because nobody cares about them nor finds the kahunas (another word for something I do not want to say) to tell their dates that they went to college to study useless dead languages.

I wish that my computer was like Superman (but in computer form with cool powers like Superman).

[Drakefriend]

Granted. But you do not recognize it, and it is away most of the time to be a superhero.

I wish to archieve Divinity.

[Boldek]

granted. you are patron god of squirrel hairs.

I wish for a really cool addon that will not be too big, stolen, buggy, mismatched, uncompatible, or any other problem to prevent or ruin my playing it.

[Great_Mage_Atari]

Granted, but it is incompatible, since uncompatible isn't a word.

I wish for pronunciation divinity.

[Boldek]

granted. the god of pronunciation is now stalking you.

I wish a private island to live on with no zombies, creepers, terrorists, viruses, bombs, landmines, or wild carnivorous beasts that might devour me, and for unlimited free and perfect internet access, electricity, and a nice house with no berserk dwarves or ghouls in the attic.

[Great_Mage_Atari]

Granted. A homicidal Al Pacino stalks you there instead. And he's got a little friend he wants you to say hello to.

I wish for a ghost who can not harm me, kill me, or scare me in any way.

[Boldek]

granted. instead all the ghosts you meet constantly pursue you telling really lame jokes until your friends flee from you, seeing you stumble down the street laughing hysterically.

I wish for a pet hedgehog.

[Great_Mage_Atari]

Granted. Its blue, it hates Nintendo, breaks all your Nintendo systems, cracks lame jokes, and eats all your chili dogs.

I wish for insane amounts of cash, legally, with no interference of any kind.

[lesy]

Granted. It destroys the current financial system, rendering money worthless and throws the World in total chaos. Oh wait, that could never actually happen .

I wish i could boost my cold resistance higher then +10 %.

[Great_Mage_Atari]

Granted. Because of your weak knowledge of the financial system, you fail to raise enough to fund your project. You ultimately fail and I laugh at you.

I wish for a McDonalds restaurant.

[Boldek]

granted. the government deems your restaurant unhealthy and takes it away from you and renovates it into a golf course.

I wish for a nice hedgehog that would have no resemblance to sonic and not steal my food.