Unit Flavor Text change request

General feedback and discussion of the game.

Moderator: Forum Moderators

Post Reply
Stormcrow
Posts: 1
Joined: March 12th, 2017, 7:04 pm

Unit Flavor Text change request

Post by Stormcrow »

I have, mostly because I have too much time on my hands, been working on a number of changes for the flavor text used by BfW's units. I am posting them here, in hopes that the readers of this forum will find them just as descriptive of the units' roles--not to mention amusing--as I do. If so, I shall continue to work on more. If not, ah, well.

1. Heavy infantry line:
Heavy Infantryman
…enlisting under the name of Bert Reynolds, Mistress Bertha then put the entire Company in danger by adopting the arms and armor of the heavy infantryman, and serving in the front lines of every conflict in which the company of Tyndham's Terrors took part for some five years….
…during the Battle of Northsmere, her reckless actions culminated in her losing her weapon, and being forced to resort to projectile combat, throwing whatever objects she could find at the enemy, including two axes, a shield, an unlucky horseman, and, not content with this mockery of combat, the horeseman's horse, totally routing the unfortunate group of northern herdsmen who believed a single figure to be unable to resist their speedy charge...
…during the battle of Ingvis, her blunt refusal to follow orders to retreat behind the cover of the depleted militia resulted in her being stabbed twice, her armor rent asunder by several scores of axe and sword strikes, and with no less than two dozen heavy war arrows lodged within her body in the course of singlehandedly driving the enemy back, and routing them from the field, before she finally succumbed to her wounds, and collapsing upon reaching the field hospital...
…the leadership of Tyndham’s Terrors has long been aware that it is manifestly unfair to exclude women from the ranks of our mercenary company, but we have elected to do so anyway, as it is well known that women simply lack the endurance, the upper body strength, and the emotional stability and discipline to effectively fight in the front lines of battle.  It is our judgment that Bertha Reynoldsdottir’s decision to enlist within the ranks of the Company’s heavy infantry has put the entire company at risk.  For this reason, she is to be expelled from the company’s ranks without honors.
 --Excerpts from the courts martial of Bertha Reynoldsdottir
Shock Trooper
With the dissolution of Tyndham’s Terrors, it is strongly recommended that the we recruit whomever of that company’s elite shock troops we can get into contact with.  Even with their company's recent defeat, and the death in ignominy of over two thirds of the company's leadership, the simple fact of their record, and their actions as Mistress Reynoldsdottir’s proteges, marks their superiority as dedicated heavy combatants, and with improved rations and minor retraining in our own company's tactics and discipline, they should provide us with a solid corps of heavy front line units, around which the city’s defensive forces can be organized.  Given the increasing instability in the Kingdom, it is my considered opinion that the city would do well to consider re-establishing the corps of shock troops that we had once made it a point to maintain in years past, and hire these currently unemployed warriors to form the backbone of that corps...
 
 
Iron Mauler
…although she visibly began to tire in the fifth hour of the examination, it was not until midway through the sixth hour of their contest that Captain Hardesty was able to overcome her, and pin her hand to the table.  Given the shortness of rations that she had obviously been subjected to following her abrupt termination from Tyndham’s Terrors, it is clear that Mistress Reynoldsdottir is obviously suitable material for inclusion within the ranks of the Iron Maulers, although we would like to caution her that, no matter the circumstances, horses are NOT considered to be suitable projectiles, whether one is on the battlefield, or off.  Those animals are expensive, and better uses for them can ALWAYS be found.
I would also like to report that the stone table in the Royal Guard’s receiving room will have to be replaced, as it was an unfortunate casualty of the examination process. Yes, this was expected. That is why the examiners and the examined are both required to wear gauntlets during the examination process--otherwise, they would break their hands when one or the other won.
 

2.Mages:
Mage
The Seven Laws of Magic:
1.        Practitioners may not kill any human being except in justifiable self-defense or upon the field of open battle.
2.       Practitioners may not forcibly alter the shape of any human being, or any other creature.
3.       Practitioners may not use magic to forcibly alter or dominate a person’s mind.  Practitioners are also prohibited from forcibly intruding upon another’s mind.
4.       Practitioners are forbidden from investigating any branch of magic that deals exclusively with the dead, except for as a means of banishing said dead from this world.
5.       Practitioners are strictly forbidden from swimming against the currents of time.
6.       Practitioners are strictly forbidden from researching any kind of magic dealing with entities or beings that do not exist within the boundaries of our reality.
7.       No practitioner is permitted to use any type of spell that requires the sacrifice of another living being.
Addendums to the Seven Laws of Magic:
1. You are not allowed to research ways to bring dead violators of the Seven Laws back to face justice.
2. You are not allowed to provoke somebody into attacking you, and then claim killing them was self defense.
3. Yes, the First Law still applies if the [censored] made your little girl cry.
4. I don’t care if they really did ask for it (literally). You’re still not allowed to kill him.  Or her.  Seriously. We mean it.
5. Forcibly altering somebody else’s shape includes cosmetics or other “improvements” to the person’s body.
6. If they paid you for it, it will be assumed that any alterations made were completely voluntary.
7. If the alterations were not part of the specified written contract, they are by definition involuntary.
8. If you are already dead, any magical research you conduct will be assumed to involve the dead, and will thus be in violation of the 4th Law.  Also the 6th.  And possibly the 7th.
--excerpt from The Laws of Magic, a popular legal text during the 4th century AF
Red Mage
Although a common belief, the robes of your local mage have little to do with the element he or she may have chosen to master. While fire is the most commonly used element by mages who have only recently attained Master status, due to its ease of manipulation and relative safety for the nearby citizenry, Wesphalan mages make heavy use of all seven known magical Elements. Instead, the robe's colors mark the mage's rank—red, being the lowest color of the rainbow, is therefore the lowest-ranked, and most common, of the mages. The next lowest is orange, and then yellow, green, blue, and finally purple....
--Excerpt from “Getting to Know Your Mages,” a pamphlet distributed by the Royal Wesnoth Magical Academy, shortly after its founding.

Archmage:
To attain the rank of archmage requires not only exceptional skill in magic, but also the discovery or the proof of some principle or theorum that can be used to develop new spells. Once discovered, and published, this principle must be examined by a council of the archmage's contemporaries, who will then use said published principle to develop their own variations of prospective archmage's original spell.
Once this is done, the archmage candidate will be called upon to deliver a dissertation upon the work he has published, and to explain, in detail, why his work will stand up to the scrutiny of others. If this can be done in front of a board of no less than seven fellow purple-ranked mages, than the defender will be entitled to call himself (or herself) an archmage, for whom the proper title and addrress is no longer “Master”, but “Magister”.
--Excerpt from “Getting to Know Your Mages,” a pamphlet distributed by the Royal Wesnoth Magical Academy, shortly after its founding.

Great Mage:
It is typically considered to be in extremely poor taste for a mage to introduce themselves as being “Great”. Indeed, according to the lore so commonly dispensed among the peasants, to do so is outlawed by University regulations, and any true wizard or mage will simply introduce themselves by their title and name. However, there are always a few wizards or mages whose accomplishments are such that they are referred to as just that: Great Mages. These individuals may be addressed as such for any number of reasons, ranging from a superb and unmatched mastery and understanding of the principles of magic, to an unparalleled ability to teach magic to others, or, most commonly, to the simple fact that there are none who can hope to stand against them upon the field of battle. A single individual who is easily the match of any company of warriors, for instance, is likely to be accorded the title of “Great,” although very rarely will such an individual bestow such a title upon their self—that is left for other, lesser mages to do. Whether this done out of respect, or self-preservation is, of course, highly variant, and depends almost entirely on the temperament of the mage in question.

Silver Mage:
Silver mages is more common than them Archmages, because silver's more common than gold, see? And all that gold trimming them Archmages wear, well, it adds up. So a wizard who don't feel like hanging around them universities all day, but actually goes out into da field, and gets his hands dirty...that's a silver mage, see? You best be respectful of them, boy. I seen one of them fellers explode a man into so many chunks of meat with just a gesture, and then move out the way of the mess so fast, you'd swear he ain't crossed the space in between.
--Old Phil, horse herder.

White Mage:
Says here that you've managed to get negative marks in basic fire-making...how in the world does anyone get negative marks in basic fire-making, boy? It's the simplest magic that exists! Cripes, boy! If you don't get your act together, you're going to find yourself banished to the ranks of the White, and that's going to be the end of you, my boy! You'll be regulated to trading herbal quackeries for the funds to survive, and trying to impress the peasants with a flash of light and a little telekinesis! So if I were you, my boy, I'd concentrate more on my studies, and less on the lovely Ms. Bernadotte.
--Lecture from Archmage Ridcully to a young student wizard.

Mage of Light
I don't mean to imply that Theodore's magic has become so powerful that his light spells have become permanent, but I do have it on very good authority that he no longer needs to purchase candles for when he wakes up at night.
--anonymous

Horse units:
Horseman
There are few experiences on the modern battlefield more utterly terrifying than the experience of seeing a hundred horsemen pounding across the battlefield at a gallop, their lances leveled, and pointing at you.  The sound of those horses galloping in concert makes for something very much like thunder, and one can actually feel the reverberations of their hoof beats through the ground itself.  I have fought ogres, slain trolls, and engaged a peasant armed with a quarterstaff in single combat, but nothing I have ever experienced has awakened that primal terror, or inspired that same feeling of despair as the single experience I have felt from seeing the horsemen of the Baron Sicarius come charging across the battlefield in my direction.
--from the personal diaries of Sir Sammuel Letten, King's Knight.
 
Knight
But Sir Reginald simply laughed at the Goblin King, and lowered his lance to charge.  With a single strike, he spitted the great goblin’s most fearsome body guards, shattering his spear in the process.  Then, drawing his sword, he continued to hew his way through the goblin horde, until at last he was able to force his way before the Goblin King, where he engaged the Goblin King in single combat.  There are those who say that so quick was the knight’s sword that the eye could not follow his strokes, and before the Goblin King could raise his hand to signal the archers he had brought to slay the knight before he could attack, Reginald had slain the Goblin King, and separated his head from his body.  Upon seeing the death of their leader, the goblin hordes scattered, and ran, leaving the single knight in triumphant possession of the field.
--From The Tale of Sir Reginald, a popular children’s tale in Wesnoth.
 
Grand Knight
Yes, my lord Archibald is quite correct—the Grand Knights of the Royal Guard are a serious drain upon the Royal Treasury, and the King does indeed have a myriad of pressing demands upon his admittedly very limited resources.  However, I would invite you to consider the recent case of the Basilica conflict, between the city of Bas, and the Fulmerton Abbey.  Both of these admittedly quite wealthy powers within the kingdom had long been at each other’s throats politically, and both had recently taken to hiring mercenary companies in preparation for active conflict between the two of them.  A war would have been quite devastating to the entire region, but the dispatch of a single company of Grand Knights was sufficient to persuade both groups to back down, and seek outside mediation of their differences.  Surely the damage these men prevented was sufficient to justify their cost.
--Sir Stephan Lancaster, Commander of the King’s Guard, in a debate

Basic Infantry unit tree:
Spearman:
The bulk of the militia recruited by the local Barons is generally comprised of simple spearmen, wearing boiled leather or padded armor, and equipped with a shield of some description, typically a large, circular shield that can be combined with the shields of his fellows to create a wall with which he can protect himself in battle. The spears are typically wielded in an overhand fashion, and are held in such a way that several ranks' worth protrude forward, allowing the militia to strike at will at their enemies with no fear of retaliation. Of course, such a tactic tends to be rather limited in its tactical flexibility, but it still presents a deadly dangerous obstacle for any enemy to approach, and is frequently sufficient to make any sort of cavalry charge completely useless. Enemy infantry also have the added joy of suffering from volleys of javelins thrown by the militia's stronger members, a practice that is often quietly encouraged by the unit's veterans, as it is a very effective means to whittle down enemy numbers before the militia must engage them.
--Excerpt from Jack’s All the World’s Armies
Caladbolg
Posts: 198
Joined: January 1st, 2016, 4:40 pm
Location: Hopelessly trapped within the Submachine

Re: Unit Flavor Text change request

Post by Caladbolg »

Addendums to the Seven Laws of Magic killed me, I haven't had such a good laugh for a good while :lol: These are obviously well thought out descriptions, with a certain witty charm to them that reminded me a bit of Thackray's songs. Hats off to you, sir :D
User avatar
Gyra_Solune
Posts: 263
Joined: July 29th, 2015, 5:23 am

Re: Unit Flavor Text change request

Post by Gyra_Solune »

I would say that anecdotes and excerpts like these ought to be addendums to existing descriptions and not replacements. A good model I think is the Civilopedia of Civilization, whereby the bulk of the article is mostly a cut and dry description of the entity at hand, but perhaps it's prefaced by an amusing quote of some kind.

I sort of like the idea actually (as someone who's been writing a lot of unit descriptions), though I'd personally pare them down a little so they're just a catching blurb instead of half the description. Like, say...

"I could tell you there's a hundred, or a thousand, or a million of the orcs out there. Problem is, whatever count we have will have multiplied by the time we assemble our men." for the Orcish Grunt

"The idea of a snake slithering around and spinning with a blade in each hand sounds ridiculous, up until your platoon's cut in half by one by the time you've finished blinking." for one of the Nagas.

"Their shields never yield and they join in perfect formation, able to take anything you hurl at them with no hesitation. They're the perfect bastion in every sense of the word - but for the fact that they're half fish." for the Merman Hoplite.

Stuff like that is what I'd advise more or less.
Post Reply