DiD S1 dialog change

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josteph
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DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph »

In Descent into Darkness, at the end of S1 the town sergeant Drogan banishes the protagonist Malin from Wesnoth for having raised Walking Corpses. I submitted a change of dialog, does it look good?

https://github.com/wesnoth/wesnoth/pull/3752/files

Note the line "Goodbye, commander" that's being removed isn't in 1.14.5. It was added to have a hint in dialog that the three loyal units that Malin starts with won't carry over to the next scenario, but it's being removed/changed because its tone was too friendly.
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The_Gnat
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by The_Gnat »

Yes that is a good improvement :D and reflects the dark sentiment of the humans towards Malin better.
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josteph
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph »

Thanks, The_Gnat. I've merged it now :D
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max_torch
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by max_torch »

Why change "Your father would be ashamed to see the end to which you’ve come" to
"Your father would turn in his grave did he see the end to which you’ve come"
?
The first line sounds better. just my opinion
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josteph
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph »

An early version of the patch used "ashamed" in the added line, so we wanted to change the "ashamed" in the existing line to avoid repetition. In the end, both instances of "ashamed" were changed, one to "detest" and one to "turn in his grave" (zookeeper and Soliton's suggestions). We can of course change it further.

Personally, I think it's plausible that Drogan would use the idiom "turn in his grave" here, given that Malin's father had died and that the conversation is about Malin having raised the dead. (but this is just my opinion)
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max_torch
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by max_torch »

Okay I didn't realize the full context from just looking at the single line. Thanks for explaining.
Next concern is - I wonder if the "did he see the end to which you've come" clause is the right grammar.
Would you prefer: "Your father would be turning in his grave if he could see you now."
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josteph
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Re: DiD S1 dialog change

Post by josteph »

I think it's the right grammar, yes. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_c ... on_clauses . I used that form since wesnoth dialog generally uses more archaic English (both grammar and vocabulary).

I think "if he could see you now" is a bit non-specific (now? As in, chatting with Drogan, having kept the orcs at bay? The Walking Corpses may have already been slain by orcs at this point), but perhaps some other change will work better?
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