Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » May 1st, 2018, 8:46 am

Feeew, it takes time to completely revise such a big text, but it's worth it, and my latest drafts are finally available with some notes to explain the reasons of the changes (big thanks to Beetlenaut for helping me with my grammar, it's much appreciated)

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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by Celtic_Minstrel » May 2nd, 2018, 12:14 am

I'll try to remember to look over the revisions later; feel free to remind me in the channel (IRC/Discord) if I forget.
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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by beetlenaut » May 2nd, 2018, 1:32 pm

Okay, some of them are nearly there, but others need a lot more work. I don't plan on spending any more time on it until they are closer to done though. If I had time to rewrite them, I would have already done it myself.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
(Existing version : Taurochs are huge, hardened beasts of the desert, considered untamable by most surviving races. However, the elves' affinty with nature has allowed them to form an unlikely bond with them. While Taurochs can easily carry or pull heavy loads, their thick hides and unwavering resolution also make them formidable mounts in battle. A Tauroch guided by a skilled rider can hold off multiple enemies long enough for assistance to arrive.)
There is a little revision needed. First, "afinity" is mispelled. Second, "...them to form an unlikely bond with them" is allowed grammatically, but is a little confusing. I would change the second "them" to "the animals".
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Tauroch Vanguard : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed not only to hold ground, but also to lead a charge to break enemy formations or to rally the infantry around them to hold a position while shielding and inspiring them. When mounted on a Tauroch, the Vanguards can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units. These commanders also carry great flags with them, visible from far away in the sands, they are great to scare off the least courageous desert pillagers who see them on the horizon or to give signals to the troops.

I decided to replace "fear" with the verb "scare off", hopefully it should be better, grammatically speaking but I look forward to feedback for that.
The first sentence is long and awkward. It could be simplified a lot with the first part reversed: "The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed, not only to charge and break through enemy formations, but to rally and inspire the infantry to hold their ground." ("Rallying" doesn't need a preposition, and shielding a unit is really the opposite of leadership in Wesnoth, so I took it out. With "to" starting each clause, I put an "and" after "charge" to remove confusion.) It should be "across" instead of "in" the sands, and there has to be a period after "sands" as well. The next sentence should also be reversed to put the clause that is easier to understand first: "They are great to signal the troops or to strike fear in desert pillagers who see them on the horizon." "Scare off" is grammatically correct, but too informal for this type of writing, and "least courageous" seems to undermine your point.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Tauroch Flagbearer : Carrying the great and beautifully decorated banners of the Quenoth Elves into battle, the prestigious Flagbearers are masters of tactics. Years of studying the art of commanding and taking part in hunts, raids and even massive battles against the creatures of darkness have built their reputation over the years. When leading their armies on the battlefield from the back of their mighty Tauroch, they become fearsome enemies whom nobody should defy without vastly superior numbers or equal skills in strategy, which is very unlikely.
"Tauroch" should be "taurochs" I think. I would remove the bit at the end. At least, "which is very unlikely," as you've already made that point, and it just weakens the ending.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Tauroch Stalwart : A wild Tauroch alone is already difficult enough to dislodge. However, when one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back, it is wiser to seek another path. Letting someone carry javelins on its back is not something Taurochs usually do, because they were earlier hunted by humans, orcs and other evil beings with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to really pierce their thick natural armor. Thus, for this to happen, the elf must establish an especially strong bond with the beast and a relation of unshakeable trust and if he succeeds, he can become a powerful defender.
The sentence starting with "Letting" gets a little rambling. I would suggest: "Letting its rider carry javelins is not something a tauroch would usually do because those are one of the only weapons able to pierce their thick natural armor." (I also made a couple other small changes.) "Unshakable" is mispelled. The last sentence is run-on and needs to be split. Put a period after "trust," and start again with "If". The reason that "made common cause with" sounds wrong is that it's a process used by two sentient entities, and taurochs are animals. I would say, "If you see one with a skilled javelineer mounted on its back". (And removing "on its back" from the second sentence like a did above.)
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Tauroch Protector : It is told that once, an elf and his wounded little brother fleeing from an orcish hunting party came across a young stray tauroch in a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the older sister and the tauroch are said to have fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, as the elf had mended the tauroch's and his brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, the beast had gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried them back to their village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of these mounts and riders both is undeniable.
There is some pronoun and preposition trouble here. Also "told" needs an object, and "little brother" is pretty modern. Try this: "A story is told that once, an elf, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing from an orcish hunting party and came across a young stray tauroch at a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the girl and the tauroch fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, when the elf had mended the tauroch's and her brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, it is said that the beast gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried them back to their village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of both these mounts and their riders is undeniable."[/quote]
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Quenoth mystic : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. Although this magic has been altered by the new harsh environment , allowing them to control the sands instead of plants and to daze their foes with it, it is a testament to the resilience of the elves that they are able to accomplish this in a world devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strength from. In fact, these desert shamans have learned to use the power of the sun to palliate to the lack of nature, giving them new abilities.
We go back and forth between sand and forests a lot. This could be made simpler to understand:
"Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. However, this magic has been altered by the new, harsh environment, devoid of the vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strength. It is a testament to the adaptability of elves that they are now able to control the sands and daze their foes with it. These desert shamans have also learned to use the power of the sun to restore their companions to health."
I also changed the sentence at the end because it had several problems. For one, palliate needs to refer to a specific injury in English, and is very uncommon as well.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Quenoth Shaman : Shamans seek to maintain the elves' traditional connection with the natural world, even if stretches of sand have replaced their beloved forests, burnt by the suns so long ago. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves. Furthermore, they're reminders of ancient times when the world was still covered by trees and fields, and their deepest wish is to make such times rise again one day, but for now, it's only a dream that gives hope to those who listen to the Shamans' stories.
This doesn't really work. The Quenoth did have a sacred tree, but there is no indication that they wish to live in the forest, let alone deeply wish it. In fact, there are several lines that imply that the Quenoth prefer desert terrain, and others that suggest that they have no knowledge of how the world was before. This should be reworked.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
May 1st, 2018, 8:43 am
Quenoth Shyde: ...Their appearance may not be as attractive as it was centuries ago because of the twin suns
I don't know how to read this other than as a reference to their darker skin. It's an irrelevant personal opinion, and an offensive one AFAICT, so I'm done now.
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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » July 15th, 2018, 2:31 pm

Hello again, I'm finally back on this. As I said on discord, I've got other things to worry about, like graduating, way too long holidays,... but now it's over and I have 1,5 months to finish what I started long ago by now.

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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm

Tauroch rider :Taurochs are huge, hardened beasts of the desert, considered untamable by most surviving races. However, the elves' afinity with nature has allowed them to form an unlikely bond with these animals. While Taurochs can easily carry or pull heavy loads, their thick hides and unwavering resolution also make them formidable mounts in battle. A Tauroch guided by a skilled rider can hold off multiple enemies long enough for assistance to arrive.

Only little revisions here, not much to talk about.

Tauroch Vanguard : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed, not only to charge and break through enemy formations, but to rally and inspire the infantry to hold their ground. When mounted on their Taurochs, the Vanguards can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units. These commanders also carry great flags with them, visible from far away across the sands. They are great to give signals to the troops or to strike fear in most desert pillagers who see them on the horizon.

Not much modifications of my own here, I basically only modified "When mounted on a Tauroch" by " When mounted on their Taurochs" since I talk about Vanguards in general. Also, I added a "most" in the last sentence because I consider that not all pillagers would be scared, for exemple, a big orc raid.

Tauroch Flagbearer : Carrying the great and beautifully decorated banners of the Quenoth Elves into battle, the prestigious Flagbearers are masters of tactics. Years of studying the art of commanding and taking part in hunts, raids and even massive battles against the creatures of darkness have built their reputation over the years. When leading their armies on the battlefield from the back of their mighty Taurochs, they become fearsome enemies whom nobody should defy without vastly superior numbers or equal skills in strategy.

Little modifications here too. But I have a question, shouldn't the Tauroch Vanguard and the Tauroch Flagbearer be reversed? Maybe I've just watched too much fantasy (I blame Lord of the Ring for that) but I feel like the greatest commanders usually take place in the vanguard of the army... I don't know...

Tauroch Stalwart : A wild Tauroch is already dificult enough to dislodge. However, when you see a javelineer on its back, it is undoubtedly wiser to seek another path. It is truly astonishing that the Elves managed to establish such a bond with the Taurochs, strong enough to let them ride the beasts with javelins.For many years, the Taurochs had been hunted by huans, orcs and other evil beings with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to pierce their thick natural armor. Unshakable trust between the elf and the animal is what created the Stalwarts, the powerul defenders of Quenoth.

Coming back after practically 2 months made me realize that I didn't like my old try at all, so I decided to completely re-write it, as usual, I'll be waiting for eventual grammatical corrections.

Tauroch Protector :A story is told that once, an elf, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing from an orcish hunting party and came across a young stray tauroch at a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the girl and the tauroch fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, when the elf had mended the tauroch's and her brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, it is said that the beast gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried them back to their village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of both these mounts and their riders is undeniable.

For now I'll let Beetlenaut version be the definitve one, it is definitely better than mine.

Quenoth Mystic : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. However, this magic has been strongly altered, weakened by the new, harsh environment, devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strength. Generations passed though, and thanks to their wonderful adaptability, they became able to control the sands and daze their foes with it. These desert shamans have also learned to use the power of the sun to restore their companions to health.

I scrapped the testament part, I didn't like it, and I put the last but one sentence to the past because I found it better, considering the last sentence is also like that. Finally I added the notion of weakened magic, talking about the original one, slowly replaced by their new abilities.

Quenoth Shaman : Although the streches of sand have replaced the vast forests of old, not everyone has forgotten the gifts of the nature. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves. Furthermore, they are reminders that the deserts are not almighty, and that nature could well rise again someday. It may be a dream for now, and most Elves consider the desert to be their home, but the world is not safe from any change, and only time will tell how the history continues its road.

This is an experimental reworking, some parts may be scrapped, but at least I think I took off the ambiguity of wishing the forests to come back (is that sentence even correct?).

Quenoth Shyde : Even in a world devoid of forests, the Elves have not put aside their faerie nature. Quenoth Shydes are in fact more fairy than elf and their bond with the two worlds grants them great powers over the plants as well as over the sands. Their appearance may have changed since the rise of the twin suns, but burnt and darker skin didn't undermine their majesty. In fact, ever since the suns granted them new powers, their majesty grew in a different way, closer to the beauty of sun rays than Nature.

Problematic case I created here... I didn't want to sound offensive by any means. My point was that these elves drew beauty partly from their bound to the fairie world, or at least, it gave them a part of mystery, inhuman and beautiful to the eye. If I remember correctly, such things were said about wood Elves but I may be mistaken... In this description I wanted to tell how they lost a part of it with the disparition of the forests but still retained a part of it, thanks to the fact they adapted to the sun. Anyway, I apologize for sounding offensive...

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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by Celtic_Minstrel » July 19th, 2018, 9:43 pm

MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
But I have a question, shouldn't the Tauroch Vanguard and the Tauroch Flagbearer be reversed? Maybe I've just watched too much fantasy (I blame Lord of the Ring for that) but I feel like the greatest commanders usually take place in the vanguard of the army... I don't know...
It's hard to say, really. I think a lot of bad commanders are the sort who just egg their army on from the back where they can't get hurt; however, that doesn't necessarily mean that someone can't be a great commander simply because they stay back where it's safe - there are valid reasons to do so beyond mere cowardice, I think. On the other hand, some commanders may be called great because they lead their troops into battle, but that doesn't mean a commander is great just because they command from the head of their army - if they simply charge in without thinking, that's not a good commander.

So basically I'd say there's only a weak correlation between "great commanders" and "vanguard commanders".
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
For many years, the Taurochs had been hunted by huans, orcs and other evil beings with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to pierce their thick natural armor. Unshakable trust between the elf and the animal is what created the Stalwarts, the powerul defenders of Quenoth.
Misspelled words - "humans", "powerful". I also don't like the use of the word "evil" here. I can't see hunting taurochs as an evil pastime - it's just hunters bringing down their prey so they can eat.

MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
A story is told that once, an elf, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing from an orcish hunting party and came across a young stray tauroch at a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the girl and the tauroch fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, when the elf had mended the tauroch's and her brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, it is said that the beast gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried them back to their village.
The phrasing at the beginning here is awkward. I think the possible corrections could fall into one of these two basic forms:
  • It is said/told that there was an elf who, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing…
  • (A story is)/(There is a story) told amongst the quenoth about an elf who, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing…
I can't remember whether I ever mentioned this before but I love that the protagonist of this little folk tale is the sister.
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
Quenoth Shaman : Although the streches of sand have replaced the vast forests of old, not everyone has forgotten the gifts of the nature. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves. Furthermore, they are reminders that the deserts are not almighty, and that nature could well rise again someday. It may be a dream for now, and most Elves consider the desert to be their home, but the world is not safe from any change, and only time will tell how the history continues its road.
(emphasis mine) Two things: You don't use the word "shaman" anywhere in here, and I think the bolded word is a good place to slot it in. The other thing is the misspelled "stretches" in the first sentence, and furthermore I think it sounds better without an article: "Although stretches of sand have replaced…".
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
Their appearance may have changed since the rise of the twin suns, but burnt and darker skin didn't undermine their majesty.
(emphasis mine) This word seems weird here, I'd suggest instead using either "don't" or "haven't". In the latter case it would become "haven't undermined", which is a past tense, so that might be slightly better than "don't undermine", which is present tense. However, it's also different form "didn't undermine" which, although a past tense, has a different meaning.

(Basically, "didn't undermine" is the emphatic form of the simple present, so it means something happening right now, while "haven't undermined" is the perfect present, which is sort of a past tense in that the action began sometime in the past, but it also implies the action is still ongoing in the presence, hence being called a present tense.)
MarkoLeSerbe wrote:
July 19th, 2018, 6:17 pm
Problematic case I created here... I didn't want to sound offensive by any means. My point was that these elves drew beauty partly from their bound to the fairie world, or at least, it gave them a part of mystery, inhuman and beautiful to the eye. If I remember correctly, such things were said about wood Elves but I may be mistaken... In this description I wanted to tell how they lost a part of it with the disparition of the forests but still retained a part of it, thanks to the fact they adapted to the sun. Anyway, I apologize for sounding offensive...
I honestly have no clue what you're talking about here.


Anyway, these are the things I noticed in this latest version. Anything I didn't explicitly comment on shouldn't be assumed perfect, mind you! I didn't read the descriptions really closely, this is just what I caught in a quick read-through.
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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » July 20th, 2018, 9:26 am

"Problematic case I created here... I didn't want to sound offensive by any means. My point was that these elves drew beauty partly from their bound to the fairie world, or at least, it gave them a part of mystery, inhuman and beautiful to the eye. If I remember correctly, such things were said about wood Elves but I may be mistaken... In this description I wanted to tell how they lost a part of it with the disparition of the forests but still retained a part of it, thanks to the fact they adapted to the sun. Anyway, I apologize for sounding offensive...

I honestly have no clue what you're talking about here."

About that, it's an answer to Beetlenaut, but it is way too hard to express it with a message I would say, anyway... Time to continue this

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Re: Descriptions for the Quenoth Elves (Finished drafts)

Post by MarkoLeSerbe » July 24th, 2018, 1:12 pm

Current state of the descriptions :

Tauroch Rider : Taurochs are huge, hardened beasts of the desert, considered untamable by most surviving races. However, the elves' afinity with nature has allowed them to form an unlikely bond with these animals. While Taurochs can easily carry or pull heavy loads, their thick hides and unwavering resolution also make them formidable mounts in battle. A Tauroch guided by a skilled rider can hold off multiple enemies long enough for assistance to arrive.

(Existing version : Taurochs are huge, hardened beasts of the desert, considered untamable by most surviving races. However, the elves' affinty with nature has allowed them to form an unlikely bond with them. While Taurochs can easily carry or pull heavy loads, their thick hides and unwavering resolution also make them formidable mounts in battle. A Tauroch guided by a skilled rider can hold off multiple enemies long enough for assistance to arrive.)

Tauroch Vanguard : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed, not only to charge and break through enemy formations, but to rally and inspire the infantry to hold their ground. When mounted on their Taurochs, the Vanguards can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units. These commanders also carry great flags with them, visible from far away across the sands. They are great to give signals to the troops or to strike fear in most desert pillagers who see them on the horizon.

(Existing version : The massive and fearless taurochs are often employed not only to hold ground, but also to lead a charge to break enemy formations. Shielding and inspiring infantry behind them, these commanders can survive the thick of battle better than those on foot or more slender units.)

Tauroch Flagbearer : Carrying the great and beautifully decorated banners of the Quenoth Elves into battle, the prestigious Flagbearers are masters of tactics. Years of studying the art of commanding and taking part in hunts, raids and even massive battles against the creatures of darkness have built their reputation over the years. When leading their armies on the battlefield from the back of their mighty Taurochs, they become fearsome enemies whom nobody should defy without vastly superior numbers or equal skills in strategy.

(Existing version : Carrying the banners from the Quenoth elves into battle,the prestigious flagbearers are also masters of tactics. Any enemy commander intending on besting them on the battlefield must invariably possess vastly superior numbers)

Tauroch Stalwart : A wild Tauroch is already dificult enough to dislodge. However, when you see a javelineer on its back, it is undoubtedly wiser to seek another path. It is truly astonishing that the Elves managed to establish such a bond with the Taurochs, strong enough to let them ride the beasts with javelins.For many years, the Taurochs had been essentially hunted by nomadic populations with arrows and javelins, the only weapons able to pierce their thick natural armor. Unshakable trust between the elf and the animal is what created the Stalwarts, the powerful defenders of Quenoth.

(Existing version : It is dificult enough to dislodge a stubborn wild tauroch. When one has made common cause with a skilled javelineer on its back, it is wiser to seek another path.)

Suppressed the evil part here altough for me it made sense since, apart from the Elves, we cannot say that the other beings we found were good by any means... The only ones that I wouldn't call evil are the ogres and the scorpions, these are simply wild beasts for me, and they don't even use arrows and javelins (but I guess the ogre could hunt Taurochs anyway).

Tauroch Protector : There is a story told amongst the quenoth about an elf, carrying her wounded younger brother, was fleeing from an orcish hunting party and came across a young stray tauroch at a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, the girl and the tauroch fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, when the elf had mended the tauroch's and her brother's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, it is said that the beast gently picked both of them up with its horns and carried them back to their village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of both these mounts and their riders is undeniable.

(Existing version : It is told that once, an elf fleeing from an orcish hunting party came across a young stray tauroch on a small oasis. Understanding that neither meant any harm to the other, they are said to have fought side by side through a long night, driving off the orcs at sunrise. Afterwards, as the elf had mended the tauroch's wounds and finally collapsed from exhaustion, the beast had gently picked her up with its horns and carried back to her village.

Whether the story is true is unknown, but the loyalty and resolve of these mounts and riders both is undeniable.)

Changed the beginning, according to Celtic_Minstrel.

Quenoth mystic : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. However, this magic has been strongly altered, weakened by the new, harsh environment, devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strength. Generations passed though, and thanks to their wonderful adaptability, they became able to control the sands and daze their foes with it. These desert shamans have also learned to use the power of the sun to restore their companions to health.

(Existing version : Like their ancestors, Quenoth Mystics have the potential to become great wielders of magic. It is a testament to the resilience of the elves that they are able to accomplish this in a world devoid of vast forests from which their forebears drew much of their strenght from.)

Quenoth Shaman : Although stretches of sand have replaced the vast forests of old, not everyone has forgotten the gifts of the nature. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, Shamans serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves. Furthermore, they are reminders that the deserts are not almighty, and that nature could well rise again someday. It may be a dream for now, and most Elves consider the desert to be their home, but the world is not safe from any change, and only time will tell how the history continues its road.

(Existing version : Shamans seek to maintain the elves' traditional connection with the natural world. Using their vast knowledge of plants of the desert to heal allies and their magical abilities to bolster crops, they serve an invaluable role among the Quenoth Elves.)

Quenoth druid : The Quenoth Druids are primordial parts of the elvish society. They are indeed among the wisest beings walking under the twin suns and in the desert, where it's so hard to maintain even but a sparkle of nature. Their vast knowledge of the natural world as well as their powerful healing abilities allow them to care for what can still be saved from the scorching heat of the long days. According to their remarkable skills, they are also the ones responsible for the worship of Eloh, the goddess of the Quenoth Elves.

(Existing version : none)

Quenoth Shyde :Even in a world devoid of forests, the Elves have not put aside their faerie nature. Quenoth Shydes are in fact more fairy than elf and their bond with the two worlds grants them great powers over the plants as well as over the sands. Their appearance may have changed since the rise of the twin suns, but burnt and darker skin haven't undermined their majesty. In fact, ever since the suns granted them new powers, their majesty grew in a different way, closer to the beauty of sun rays than Nature.

(Existing version : none)

Well I knew about the present perfect but I do agree that it makes more sense like that.

Quenoth Sun Singer : After the Quenoth Mystics learned that the power of the suns could be controlled and used to manipulate fire, some of them chose to dedicate their lives to it. Within some decades of adaptation to this new kind of magic, the first songs of the twin suns were heard in the elvish city. It took time for the elves to accept these new Sun Singers. They could not understand how those strange elves would choose their spiritual home in the light of the very suns that had destroyed their dear woodlands, but they finally acknownledged them when they saw their new abilities, fists imbued with fire and a powerful faerie fire.

(Existing version : Elves may be slower to adapt than many other races, but when they do, the results can be surprising. Where the elves of old may have sang [it should be "sung" there, no?] the song of woodlands, these elves have found their spiritual home in the light of the twin suns.)

Quenoth Sun Sylph : Stepping beyond what may have once been thought of as out of the boundaries of the faerie world, these elves have transformed into beings of light and fire, able to illuminate even the darkest of nights. Not having spent centuries exploring and perfecting their abilities as their ancestors did, it is unknown what may yet be achieved by elvenkind in the new world. One thing is sure though, these elves are terrifying creatures for the other races and even the other elves can sometimes feel uneasy near them.

(Existing version : Stepping beyond what may have once been thought of as the boundaries of the faerie world, these elves have transformed into beings of light and fire. Not having spent centuries exploring and perecting their abilites as their ancestors did, it is unknown what may yet be achieved by elvenkind in the new world).

Quenoth Scout : Unfortunately for the elves, the horses they had been using for so long to move across the forests all trespassed during the Fall, unable to survive in a desert. But the story doesn't end here. The elves found a new creature in their home, it was their first encounter with what they later called Desert Horses even though these beings aren't horses at all.

The Quenoth Scouts use them to move swiftly across the sands. Their riding skills are unmatched, and they use these to harry and incapacitate enemies.

(Existing version : The Quenoth Scouts move swiftly across the sands. Their riding skills are unmatched, these they use to harry and incapacitate enemies)

Quenoth Pathfinder : Long ago, when bows were a common weapon, for riders, turning and fleeing from an engagement was practically certain death due to the risk of being shot in the back. Today, however, battle tactics have drastically changed and seeing a race other than elves carrying bows has become rare enough for these elusive Pathfinders to be viable units. They are masters of weakening an enemy while at the same time testing their patience. Frequently, one of them gets fooled and start to chase the Pathfinder, often into a trap.

(Existing version : In most cases, turning and fleeing from an engagement is a risky tactic. These elusive Pathfinders, however, are masters of weakening an enemy while at the same time provoking them to chase - often into a trap)

Quenoth Outrider : Riding like the wind, these hardened explorers have become legends for the creatures living in the sands. Wielding heavy bolas and a sharp curved sword, the Outriders breeze across the sands to strike at weaker units and exposed flanks, before flying off into the sands to escape any counter attack. Nobody exactly knows how they take care of their mounts to be so sturdy, because it's a secret well kept by these obstinate riders.

(Existing version : Riding like the wind, Outriders breeze across the sands to strike at weaker units and exposed flanks, before flying off into the sands to evade response)

Quenoth Archer : Nothing to say about this one, it's good to me

(Existing version : With the open sands providing much less protection than their old forests did, the wide ranks of elvish archers that could once have stopped an advancing orcish horde in its tracks have all but disappeared. Instead, the few who still choose to dedicate themselves to the traditional weapon of their ancestors pratice it from the saddle, easily avoiding the perils of melee combat.)

Quenoth Marksman :When one sees an elvish rider wearing a hood coming at him, he knows he's probably living his last moments. The Quenoth Marksmans are elite mounted archers capable of aiming with deadly accuracy while shooting volleys of arrows at full gallop. Although nobody can prove it, it is likely that they have exceeded their ancestors in the art of archery.

(A marksman can loose volleys of arrows at their enemies with deadly accuracy, even at full gallop.)

Quenoth fighter : Long ago, when the elves prospered, spears were a never-to-be-seen weapon among them. They preferred the much more elegant way of the sword when fighting. But the forests are no more, and the elves' numbers got reduced to a hundredth of what they once were, and the Quenoth Elves were thus forced to adapt to a difficult situation. Many of them learned to use a spear and form coordinated defensive shield lines against foes, a tactic they became proficient at.

(Existing version : Fighters make up the bulk of the Quenoth warriors. Aside from being proficient in the use of the spear, they are remarkably skilled in working together and coordinating defense.)

Quenoth Warrior : After some years of training, the veteran Quenoth Fighters receive a glaive to replace their old spear, along with a bigger shield. With a glaive the Quenoth Warriors get both the advantages of a spear's range and the cutting power of a sword, making it their favourite weapon during raids, even if it is harder to use than a regular spear. With their well trained combat formations, these elves can handle even the toughest situations without a flinch.

(Existing version : none )

Quenoth Champion : Highly respected and admired in elvish society, Quenoth Champions are often required to train new recruits, thus giving them the best learning they could hope to receive aswell as a strong sense of fellowship. It is also common to see one of them lead the troops on the battlefield, because everyone believe in their combat skills with the glaive and their ability to organize the ranks in order to create an unbreachable line of shields.

(Existing version : none)

Quenoth Flanker : Some fighters find that their true talents lie not within rigid spear ranks, but out in the sands, striking at the flanks and rear of enemy forces. Fast and nimble, these elves can take advantage of the smallest weaknesses in enemy formations.
Suprisingly enough, they rely on poison to weaken the strongest foes before giving them the final blow. In other times, such slimy tactics would have been disapproved by their peers, but in such a cruel world, even the elves now acknowledge their use.

(Existing version :Some fighters find that their true talents lie not within rigid spear ranks, but out in the sands, striking at the flanks and rear of enemy forces. Fast and nimble, these elves can take advantage of the smallest weaknesses in enemy formations.)

Quenoth Ranger : Uncatchable like a snake, swift as the wind, deadly with poison and agile with the sword, the Quenoth Rangers are the doom of distracted enemies and clunky battle formations. In fact, it is thanks to them that the Fighters' formations are so efficient, because they have worked together with the Rangers to correct every possible weak point, to adapt to every possible situation. Rangers may not be as much praised as the warriors, but they certainly are as useful as them, if not even more.

(Existing version : none)

As usual, modifications and comments about it, make sure to continue giving feedback so one day this can be finished.

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