Legend of Wesmere - Chapter V: Elvish civil war

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Legend of Wesmere - Chapter V: Elvish civil war

Postby SanDonk » August 2nd, 2017, 11:58 pm

I have a few thoughts about the final chapter of LoW and the Elvish civil war.

First of all I have to say, that I was really curious about the way, how Landar turned evil and led the bad faction in elvish civil war (well-known fact from general history). I think the idea with the potion (especially the "forgotten" one) is good. However, as a mildly experienced writer, I absolutely hate, when evil characters are evil, just to be evil without any real reason. I suppose, the potion should just wake up the evil already dwelling in each of us, but not simply make person unreasonable evil without any cause. The saurian mission was quite a great one - because he might had been really convinced, that he is acting for the goodness of elvish race (the dwarf one not so much, but ok, it is believable at least - make some dispute between him and Olurf would be nice addition however), but the beginning of elvish civil war and planned assassination of Kalenz is way too much unexplained.
My proposal: It might be a good idea to enrich the story for further explanation of this behaviour. From the flow of the story, it seemed realistic to me, that he would start the civil war, because he really liked and admired Kalenz and seriously believed, that he would make a great ruler over elves and wanted to help him eliminate the council and make him the great elvish lord. However Kalenz is rather calm, friendly with the decision, tired of all fights and devoted to the peace, so he abandon the idea and refuse to join Landar. Landar then might start a hastly ambush in panic, that Kalenz is about to tell council about his plans and during the ambush Kalenz might side with council, because of the worries of the future of elves after the council fall. Therefore Landar may claim him a traitor from his point of view and order assassins to kill him, because he might feel really betrayed.

Nice plot for the civil war I think. Great insight into the relationship between Kalenz and Landar and a way to make Landar much more tragic character and make a better reason for his future treatment as a hero in own specific way. Interested in your opinions. Especially in the campaign creaters/mainteiners (dont know its current status) ones.
SanDonk
 
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