Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
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- Gyra_Solune
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
It's mentioned in the Direwolf Rider desc that they're about horse-ish sized - perhaps I misinterpreted though? And hm, I always thought scorpions lived solely in deserts. I'll take a look at that I suppose.
Yeah I'll probably root through some awkward wording and make it a bit more focused. Sometimes your prepositions escape you! ^^;
Yeah I'll probably root through some awkward wording and make it a bit more focused. Sometimes your prepositions escape you! ^^;
Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
How about:Gyra_Solune wrote: WolfSpoiler:
Wolves are predatory canines encountered frequently in the wilderness. Quick, tough, and durable, a solitary wolf suffices to maim or kill civilians and untrained soldiers with ease, but it is their tendency to travel in packs and attack in an organized manner that makes them particularly fearsome to travelers. They tend to stay away from civilization, though, only occasionally venturing close to prey upon livestock.
Celtic_Minstrel wrote:Gyra_solune: First of all, given that the dire wolf is based on a real (extinct) animal rather than myths, I'm not sure that "tall as a horse" is accurate. It's possible that this has in fact been established in some campaign somewhere, but the real dire wolf was not that large, only a little larger than the still-extant grey wolf, and I think probably not larger than the larger breeds of dogs such as Great Dane. Also, since they are a separate species, I think they would normally run in packs composed solely of dire wolves, rather than leading packs of lesser wolves. Though the existence of the optional advancement path does kind of suggest otherwise to some extent...
This is not to say that we can't change the Direwolf Rider's description as well, but Gyra_solune's write-up is consistent with current canon.Goblin Direwolf Rider unit description wrote: ‘Dire wolves’ differ from the common variety only in size and color. They typically stand taller than a horse at the shoulder, and have an appetite to match.
EDIT: Ninja'd.
AKA pydsigner
Current maintainer of The North Wind and author of Heroics Mode.
Current maintainer of The North Wind and author of Heroics Mode.
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
Celtic_Minstrel: Yeah, that 2nd "whether" sounds jarring in hindsight. Anyways, thanks for teaching me something new
Gyra_solune: So, that one sentence should be: "Some wolves are much bigger and stronger than those typically found in the wilds - it's unknown whether they just reach this size naturally or if they are a different breed altogether."
Gyra_solune: So, that one sentence should be: "Some wolves are much bigger and stronger than those typically found in the wilds - it's unknown whether they just reach this size naturally or if they are a different breed altogether."
- Celtic_Minstrel
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
I'm pretty sure the Amazon jungle has a lot of scorpions.Gyra_Solune wrote:It's mentioned in the Direwolf Rider desc that they're about horse-ish sized - perhaps I misinterpreted though? And hm, I always thought scorpions lived solely in deserts. I'll take a look at that I suppose.
As for the dire wolves, you could be right, but I think if they're horse-ish size they'd at least be on the small side of horse-ish size. Like ponies, for example. (Goblins are also smaller than humans or elves if I understand correctly, so it makes sense that their mounts would also be smaller than human or elf mounts.) That said, I'm not sure either. What I pointed out is regarding the historical dire wolf, which may not be the model used for the Wesnoth dire wolf.
Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
I've started adding these to a pull request for a bit easier reviewing. I'll add more and then merge them after any revisions that might be warranted.
- Flameslash
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
Is there a list of descriptions that need doing? I'd like to have a crack at a few of them.
- Celtic_Minstrel
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
I don't think there's a specific list anywhere. Just browse through the data files and look for ones that are lacking detail.
Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
A simple one could be TRoW's Wose Sapling. It just copies the lvl1 Wose's description currently.
- Gyra_Solune
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
I'm much less occupied now than I've been during the summer so I can get back to some of these - I'll see about getting the campaign ones through with tomorrow and any other cleanup needed.
E: And I think on another note I'm going to greatly expand the Saurian race desc to match the really nice one of the Woses and Trolls, and then further expand the Merfolk and Naga descs to that level as well. Nagas will likely be the shortest since they're not really fleshed out much in any major campaigns but the thread that exploded here about a bigger and more comprehensive detailing about the Saurians suggests I ought to put a little more effort in, and the Merfolk have a good amount of canon fleshing out in Dead Water so they ought to be described more with their societal structure (which I gathered to be 'scattered kingdoms united in culture and occasional politics but generally independent and fully capable of coming into conflict with each other', inferred from Rebels and Loyalists having two different units from them). Falcons and Wolves, being literal wild animals, are likely good to stay as they are - didn't we have one in the works for Gryphons as well?
E: And I think on another note I'm going to greatly expand the Saurian race desc to match the really nice one of the Woses and Trolls, and then further expand the Merfolk and Naga descs to that level as well. Nagas will likely be the shortest since they're not really fleshed out much in any major campaigns but the thread that exploded here about a bigger and more comprehensive detailing about the Saurians suggests I ought to put a little more effort in, and the Merfolk have a good amount of canon fleshing out in Dead Water so they ought to be described more with their societal structure (which I gathered to be 'scattered kingdoms united in culture and occasional politics but generally independent and fully capable of coming into conflict with each other', inferred from Rebels and Loyalists having two different units from them). Falcons and Wolves, being literal wild animals, are likely good to stay as they are - didn't we have one in the works for Gryphons as well?
- Flameslash
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
That seems to fit well; the Mermen units are based around Classical Greece to an extent, and that is the political/cultural structure of the Classical Greeks too.Gyra_Solune wrote:'scattered kingdoms united in culture and occasional politics but generally independent and fully capable of coming into conflict with each other'
Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
whilst there is only one naga unit used in mp, remember there is also guardian and hunters used in a campaign when doing the naga. An UMC-campaign 'Return of the Monster' has an full unit roster for the Naga's which could also be an inspiration for writing interesting lore.
- Gyra_Solune
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
I definitely picked up on that influence! And I must say I do quite like it, I highly commend whoever it is that designed the mermen.Flameslash wrote:That seems to fit well; the Mermen units are based around Classical Greece to an extent, and that is the political/cultural structure of the Classical Greeks too.Gyra_Solune wrote:'scattered kingdoms united in culture and occasional politics but generally independent and fully capable of coming into conflict with each other'
As for nagas, we'll see. Again I will refrain from necessarily 'accommodating' UMC in these descs because this is all text that's going to be in the base game and as such it all must be official and approved, so significant liberties all need to be checked out by basically everyone who commits things to the game. I do very much like nagas and so it'd be wonderful if I could further define their society and set something up in canon but I don't know what they already do, IIRC they're almost always just random mercenary raiders or so.
It WOULD perhaps be helpful if there was an official storyline director of staff and should I more thoroughly play through the existing campaigns, perhaps I could talk about becoming such a thing! But never that mind BECAUSE this is where I am starting to put up those campaign unit descs which I am nowhere near finished with! This will be expanded in short order I promise, it's just going slower than expected!
I am going to make perhaps an odd proposal as well - a handful of name changes to make them more descriptive since some have unhelpful and vague names, most evident for the hero lines. Need not go with them, they’re just off the wall proposals.
Dead Water
Child King (rename: Merman Heir)
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Journeyman Mage
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Last edited by Gyra_Solune on August 19th, 2016, 6:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
Those are definitely improvements and I like the name changes as well
- Celtic_Minstrel
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
The descriptions seem okay, but I'm not sure about the name changes.
- Flameslash
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Re: Let's Rewrite Descriptions!
The old names are very simple, whereas the new ones are more exotic and interesting.