SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

[tr0ll]

I started on making patches and it involves changing the action (such as moving units around) as well as dialog, so i might get to improve my WML skills a bit

1. Anyway, this leads me to ask should i post the patches in the development topic for this campaign instead?
2. I noticed that you spell the words king and queen in lowercase in dialogue but the narrator says them in Capitalized case (King and Queen). Which is the preferred usage?
3. How are credits for the revisions to be recorded when the patches are submitted? E.g. will zookeeper add them to the svn log entry or should your author comments in the text files be inserted into the scenario.cfg files?

(FYI, my understanding of making patches in this case is: checkout dev version from svn trunk, edit the relevant .cfg files, run svn diff and attach the captured output to a forum post for zookeeper to review.)

[Pewskeepski]

Ok, good!

I might still propose some changes in scenarios 2-3, especially the dialog of the elves.

What exactly? They're suppose to sound less disciplined and more roguish in the way they speak, since they've become ruthless under Landar's banner.

I've gone through some more scenarios and made little changes/fixes. Towards the Caves should be better now, Durstorn is much more inclined to attacking the elves instead of surrendering.

[LordBob]

Minor stuff, really. Mostly, tweaking the flow of the dialog and some of the elf's arguments (their overall behaviour is fine). Here goes for Towards the caves:

Spoiler:

Glindur:
Surrender dwarves, I know you have the ruby! My army is numerous and will bring me that stone whether or not you cooperate, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace.
Surrender, dwarves! We have no quarrel with you, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace and handing over the Ruby of Fire?

Alanin:
Surrender is not an option! The ruby was entrusted to us by my king, and I won't let it fall in elven hands.

Glindur:
The Ruby of Fire will fall into our hands even if you stand and fight. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for something that will be for naught in the end, hmm?
We outnumber you and will take the Ruby over your dead bodies if need be. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for the trinket of a king who turned tail, hmm?

Rugnur:
Well, when he puts it that way...

#Baglur appears

Baglur:
Don't give in to his trickery, Rugnur! What kind o' dwarf are ye talking about surrendering like that?!
Don't give in to his trickery, Rugnur! What kind o' dwarf are ye, talking about surrendering like that?!

Rugnur:
So surrendering isn't a good idea, but what do you suggest, Baglur?
Admittedly, surrendering isn't a good idea. But what do you suggest, Baglur?

As for Towards the Caves, I like the revised Durnstorn. My only nitpick would be about Thursagan justifying his long handling of the Ruby after he kills him: he is likely shocked by his own act and would perhaps not dwell on lengthy explainations. Plus, he might be reluctant to admit explicitly that the ruby is affectng him. How about :

Spoiler:

#Thursagan attacks and kills Durstorn

Rugnur:
Uh, Thursagan?

Thursagan:
I... I think the ruby's dark power is easing it's way into the hearts of us all, especially me since I've been handling it for so many years.
I...I panicked. I think the ruby's dark power is easing its way into the hearts of us all...

More on this when I'll have read the other scenarios.

@ Troll: I can't say much about patching and crediting (that'd be Zookeeper's area of expertise), but your help is very much welcome. Thanks

[tr0ll]

Re 2_Closing_the_Gates: I finished coding it but i noticed a hole in the plot.
What should happen if time runs out when the gates are closed with elves still in the caves. What is the rush? I mean, the game shows defeat (by default) but there isnt any message associated with it.

Edit: just noticed your first spoiler above was for 2_Closing_the_Gates not 6_Towards_the_Caves . Luckily not much to change

Will post patches after testing.

[Pewskeepski]

Minor stuff, really. Mostly, tweaking the flow of the dialog and some of the elf's arguments (their overall behaviour is fine). Here goes for Towards the caves:

Spoiler:

Glindur:
Surrender dwarves, I know you have the ruby! My army is numerous and will bring me that stone whether or not you cooperate, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace.
Surrender, dwarves! We have no quarrel with you, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace and handing over the Ruby of Fire?

Alanin:
Surrender is not an option! The ruby was entrusted to us by my king, and I won't let it fall in elven hands.

Glindur:
The Ruby of Fire will fall into our hands even if you stand and fight. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for something that will be for naught in the end, hmm?
We outnumber you and will take the Ruby over your dead bodies if need be. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for the trinket of a king who turned tail, hmm?

Rugnur:
Well, when he puts it that way...

#Baglur appears

Baglur:
Don't give in to his trickery, Rugnur! What kind o' dwarf are ye talking about surrendering like that?!
Don't give in to his trickery, Rugnur! What kind o' dwarf are ye, talking about surrendering like that?!

Rugnur:
So surrendering isn't a good idea, but what do you suggest, Baglur?
Admittedly, surrendering isn't a good idea. But what do you suggest, Baglur?

As for Towards the Caves, I like the revised Durnstorn. My only nitpick would be about Thursagan justifying his long handling of the Ruby after he kills him: he is likely shocked by his own act and would perhaps not dwell on lengthy explainations. Plus, he might be reluctant to admit explicitly that the ruby is affectng him. How about :

Spoiler:

#Thursagan attacks and kills Durstorn

Rugnur:
Uh, Thursagan?

Thursagan:
I... I think the ruby's dark power is easing it's way into the hearts of us all, especially me since I've been handling it for so many years.
I...I panicked. I think the ruby's dark power is easing its way into the hearts of us all...

More on this when I'll have read the other scenarios.

@ Troll: I can't say much about patching and crediting (that'd be Zookeeper's area of expertise), but your help is very much welcome. Thanks

Yeah, I like those changes better. I'm going to start on the other scenarios, so at least one of them should be here soon.

EDIT: Here's Scenario 7 & 8.

How do you feel about the village guards (in scenario 7) instantly believing Alanin's story? Maybe they'd be a little resistant to the idea of risking/sacrificing their lives against elves for someone in ragged, dwarvish attire who claims to be the King's representative.

[tr0ll]

hi guys i havent given up, just had some illness and moving issues. if you dont get some finished patches from me by mid July, feel free to assume i am MIA or at least unreliable...

(update, Jan 2016)
i am so sorry i failed to continue work and let the community down. i am still not in any shape to resume either. What patches i had were in no way working, so if anyone does pick this up, start from the current development version, ie from scratch.