SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

After reading a couple of the existing scenarios while I was preparing the portraits, I'd like to give a hand in improving those dialogs. For starters, here's my review of the first four. I've attached below the accordingly modified text files.

Scenario 1: A Bargain is Struck - v0.4
While checking typos, I tweaked several lines according to the most recent comments. Hopefully, this will still be respectful of Pewskeepski's plans.
I ended changing most of the initial dialog though, so rather than quoting, you'll have to read it from the file.

Scenario 2: Closing the Gates - v0.4
Along with typos, below is a proposition of alternate lines. In this dialog, it seems more logical if Alanin, not Rugnur, refuses to surrender. The ruby is his responsibility, so he wouldn't stare blank-eyed while the dwarves do all the talking.
Glindur:
Surrender dwarves, I know you have the ruby! My army is numerous and will bring me that stone whether or not you cooperate, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace.
Alanin:
Surrender is not an option! The ruby was entrusted to us by my king, so I won't let it fall into elven hands.

Glindur:
The Ruby of Fire will be ours even if you stand and fight. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for something that will be for naught in the end, hmm?
Rugnur:
Well, when he puts it that way...
Scenario 3: In the Dwarven City - v0.2
Edited for typos

Scenario 4: The Council Regathers - v0.2
Edited for typos

Note also that I totally agree with getting rid of the (rather cheesy) talking gryphon, and the comment stating that king Haldric should one way or the other survive the first scenario no matter what.
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In the Dwarven City.txt
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

LordBob wrote:After reading a couple of the existing scenarios while I was preparing the portraits, I'd like to give a hand in improving those dialogs. For starters, here's my review of the first four. I've attached below the accordingly modified text files.

Scenario 1: A Bargain is Struck - v0.4
While checking typos, I tweaked several lines according to the most recent comments. Hopefully, this will still be respectful of Pewskeepski's plans.
I ended changing most of the initial dialog though, so rather than quoting, you'll have to read it from the file.

Scenario 2: Closing the Gates - v0.4
Along with typos, below is a proposition of alternate lines. In this dialog, it seems more logical if Alanin, not Rugnur, refuses to surrender. The ruby is his responsibility, so he wouldn't stare blank-eyed while the dwarves do all the talking.
Glindur:
Surrender dwarves, I know you have the ruby! My army is numerous and will bring me that stone whether or not you cooperate, so why don't you make things easier on yourselves by coming out to us in peace.
Alanin:
Surrender is not an option! The ruby was entrusted to us by my king, so I won't let it fall into elven hands.

Glindur:
The Ruby of Fire will be ours even if you stand and fight. What's the purpose of shedding your blood for something that will be for naught in the end, hmm?
Rugnur:
Well, when he puts it that way...
Scenario 3: In the Dwarven City - v0.2
Edited for typos

Scenario 4: The Council Regathers - v0.2
Edited for typos

Note also that I totally agree with getting rid of the (rather cheesy) talking gryphon, and the comment stating that king Haldric should one way or the other survive the first scenario no matter what.
Huh, I had practically forgotten about this when nobody else was posting, but I'm still interested and will be back at it with scenario 4 soon. Anyway, I like the changes Lordbob made, especially the change regarding Alanin saying they can't surrender. I'll update the first post to include the improved versions and begin writing the next scenario.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

Great !
In the meantime, I've looked at the last two scenarios and here's an overview of the changes I'd like to make. Tell me what you think and I'll translate this into dialogs.

Scenario 9: Caverns of Flame
Several things just don't sound right in this scenario.

First, a warrior's death. The dwarves suspect all along that they will very likely end burnt by lava yet]none of them seems moved. Even at the very end once death is certain, the best we get is the gryphon's 'k thx bye. I'm not saying they have to get all emo and behave like big crybabies, but displaying some sort of reaction would be in order. Maybe a more intense argument about the plan at first, and later the last goddbye of brothers-in-arms.

Second, the eruption trigger. Upon entering the caves Thursagan vaguely wishes that it'd be very cool if there might be some Magical Volcano Switch to trigger the eruption and BAM, there it is Deus Ex Machina. That's cheesy at best. It would feel more natural if, being THE runemaster, Thursagan knew from the lore of a device crafted by dwarvish precursors, runemasters of old who would have harnessed the power of the mountain - maybe in relation to the very forge on which he crafted the Sceptre in scenario 8. That, or they rely on gunpowder and his extensive knowledge of volcanoes to blow up the right thing at the right time. Or combine the power of the Sceptre with the above to unleash the fury of the volcano. Now that'd be legendary

Third, the Scepter. It is unclear what they actually do with it. Rugnur mentions they hid it, but I don't think the player even sees it happening. Maybe it would be better if, upon mentionning that the glyph is the one safe area, Thursagan and the dwarves agreed to hide the sceptre there. Or told how the lava won't harm it anyway, what with it being a badass magical thingie.

Fourth, the orcs' way out. I'm only guessing this from the dialogs, but apparently triggering the glyph opens a tunnel that leads the orcs towards the dwarves. However the dialog mentions a "way out", which is rather confusing. It should be explicit that the orcs were initially blocked and can then reach and attack the dwarves. Plus, there's talk of having successfully thwarted the elves' attempt and fighting orcs to the death and then immediately afterwards, of finishing every last elf. I can see the reason why, but it doesn't flow very well when reading.

Scenario 10: Epilogue
Another list of changes.

First, introducing tHoT. There's barely a word about the fate of Thursagan and his famed hammer. Given its key role in a later campaign, it'd be nice if either this scenario or the previous one laid some background elements for tHoT. Maybe a quick word in the Story part about how it would enter legend and so on...

Second, the gatekeepers. Alanin has been absent for fifteen years - and I think there's talks of making it twenty-five; his uniform is a mess; he's travelled for weeks, lived underground for years, and likely wears some dwarf-made clothes (do you wear the same shirt for fifteen years ?). In other words, he looks more a bum than a royal guard; plus, the young gatekeepr might not even have been in service back when he left Weldyn. Yet the guy immedialtely nods him in...
I think it would feel more natural if the guard showed some sort of distrust; it might even be an opportunity for a couple of funny lines where Alanin claims he's from the royal guard and the lad mocks him. At this point, Alanin could produce some sort of an insigna, or insist enough that the guard calls upon his superior. The captain would then show up and, having actually met him before, recognize Alanin. And maybe mention that he was believed to have died.

Third, meeting the king. As we'd discussed in the art thread, it'd be logical that Alanin doesn't show up in rags. He'll first have a change and only then, be introduced to the king. Who will give him a very stern and very cold welcome. The guy's been absent for over a decade, didn't even bother to give a phonecall or send a pigeon, and returns with neither Ruby nor Scepter. And the Kingdom's treasure is utterly spent. Do you not feel that there should be a display of the King's displeasure, maybe implied threats of death and words of high treason at the very least ?

Fourth, the Gryphon Rider. Alanin will somehow convince the king to listen to his story - rather than having him beheaded on the spot - but what good is the Gryphon if the guard already knows everything ? My point: having left early, Alanin could not be certain of the fate of the dwarves. He would tell the king that he witnessed the eruption but doesn't know what has become of the dwarves. The king would still doubt, but the gryphon's tale would ascertain his own and inform them of the whereabout of the Scepter, and the dwarves doom.

Fifth, Alanin's motivation. Remember, at the end of scenario 6 he is actually intent on coming back with troops to rescue the dwarves and break the elves' siege. Yet not a word of this is said once he meets the king. The dialog would feel more plausible if Alanin first asked the king to gather a rescue force, and then was interrupted by the arrival of the Gryphon Rider.

Sixth, the legend of the Sceptre. Alanin advises the king..."to do nothing"? Speak of commitment! He's lived with the dwarves for fifteen years, waiting for the sceptre to be completed, became their comrade if not their friend, and yet he's content to let things rest ? That's not how legends are born. The artifact would become legend precisely because everyone searched for it in vain. Maybe it would feel more heroic (and plausible) if Alanin volunteered to lead a search party, with the possible help of the Gryphon Rider. Unless the king would order him to do so; that's the very least he deserves for this epic failure... (how else do you call losing the kingdom's symbol and most powerful artifact ?) Cue the narrator, who explains how the Sceptre wouldn't be found before several centuries, but it entered into legend and so on.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

LordBob wrote:First, a warrior's death. The dwarves suspect all along that they will very likely end burnt by lava yet]none of them seems moved. Even at the very end once death is certain, the best we get is the gryphon's 'k thx bye. I'm not saying they have to get all emo and behave like big crybabies, but displaying some sort of reaction would be in order. Maybe a more intense argument about the plan at first, and later the last goddbye of brothers-in-arms.
Exactly what I was planning. I'll probably have some of your soldiers argue with Rugnur and Thursagan about how they've been led to their deaths and want to get out of the cave. Maybe they could even go rogue (literally) and fight you in the caves? Of course, anything regarding actual gameplay is up to Zookeeper.
LordBob wrote:Second, the eruption trigger. Upon entering the caves Thursagan vaguely wishes that it'd be very cool if there might be some Magical Volcano Switch to trigger the eruption and BAM, there it is Deus Ex Machina. That's cheesy at best. It would feel more natural if, being THE runemaster, Thursagan knew from the lore of a device crafted by dwarvish precursors, runemasters of old who would have harnessed the power of the mountain - maybe in relation to the very forge on which he crafted the Sceptre in scenario 8. That, or they rely on gunpowder and his extensive knowledge of volcanoes to blow up the right thing at the right time. Or combine the power of the Sceptre with the above to unleash the fury of the volcano. Now that'd be legendary
Yeah, when I first read the dialog, I thought about making a meme pic with captions saying "Volcano's don't work that way!" :P. I think it'd be way more epic and believable if Thursagan could cause the mountain to explode with the scepter, but he could tell Rugnur that it's only possible from the center of the volcano.
LordBob wrote:Third, the Scepter. It is unclear what they actually do with it. Rugnur mentions they hid it, but I don't think the player even sees it happening. Maybe it would be better if, upon mentionning that the glyph is the one safe area, Thursagan and the dwarves agreed to hide the sceptre there. Or told how the lava won't harm it anyway, what with it being a badass magical thingie.
Another thing to note is that Thursagan fights with the scepter though out the entire scenario. So to make gameplay match the story better, I think they should legit hide it and then Thursagan's ability to throw fireballs be removed afterwards.
LordBob wrote:Fourth, the orcs' way out. I'm only guessing this from the dialogs, but apparently triggering the glyph opens a tunnel that leads the orcs towards the dwarves. However the dialog mentions a "way out", which is rather confusing. It should be explicit that the orcs were initially blocked and can then reach and attack the dwarves. Plus, there's talk of having successfully thwarted the elves' attempt and fighting orcs to the death and then immediately afterwards, of finishing every last elf. I can see the reason why, but it doesn't flow very well when reading.
Personnally, I think gameplay is what needs to be improved here. Because you're right, it doesn't make any sense with the dialog. The dwarves say they have to stop the elves from escaping, but in reality you can't do that without getting yourself killed by the trolls. The objectives says to kill of the elves and not let them escape but there's no way the player can force either one of those due to the layout of the map. Also, Thursagan says they have to fight off the orcs but most of them are fighting the elves. And as for the glyph 'triggering' the walls and letting the trolls out, I think we could say that Thursagan's fiery blast caused some cave walls to fall down.

Overall though I think the best combination of changes for this scenario would be a balance of both gameplay and dialog. Oh and one more thing, why should the player lose if a hero dies when they're gonna die at end of the scenario anyway? I mentioned this in my review.

LordBob wrote:First, introducing tHoT. There's barely a word about the fate of Thursagan and his famed hammer. Given its key role in a later campaign, it'd be nice if either this scenario or the previous one laid some background elements for tHoT. Maybe a quick word in the Story part about how it would enter legend and so on...
Haven't played tHoT in forever. I'll have to check it out again to refresh my memory.
LordBob wrote:Second, the gatekeepers. Alanin has been absent for fifteen years - and I think there's talks of making it twenty-five; his uniform is a mess; he's travelled for weeks, lived underground for years, and likely wears some dwarf-made clothes (do you wear the same shirt for fifteen years ?). In other words, he looks more a bum than a royal guard; plus, the young gatekeepr might not even have been in service back when he left Weldyn. Yet the guy immedialtely nods him in...
I think it would feel more natural if the guard showed some sort of distrust; it might even be an opportunity for a couple of funny lines where Alanin claims he's from the royal guard and the lad mocks him. At this point, Alanin could produce some sort of an insigna, or insist enough that the guard calls upon his superior. The captain would then show up and, having actually met him before, recognize Alanin. And maybe mention that he was believed to have died.
I agree. It's too brief and unrealistic the way it is now.
LordBob wrote:Third, meeting the king. As we'd discussed in the art thread, it'd be logical that Alanin doesn't show up in rags. He'll first have a change and only then, be introduced to the king. Who will give him a very stern and very cold welcome. The guy's been absent for over a decade, didn't even bother to give a phonecall or send a pigeon, and returns with neither Ruby nor Scepter. And the Kingdom's treasure is utterly spent. Do you not feel that there should be a display of the King's displeasure, maybe implied threats of death and words of high treason at the very least ?
Yes, my thoughts exactly. Although I'm not sure about him putting Alanin to death, that seems like something a gruesome orc or Asheviere would do (Halrdic II is one Wesnoth's better rulers :)). But then again, I suppose that's how it was back in the medieval days.
LordBob wrote:Fourth, the Gryphon Rider. Alanin will somehow convince the king to listen to his story - rather than having him beheaded on the spot - but what good is the Gryphon if the guard already knows everything ? My point: having left early, Alanin could not be certain of the fate of the dwarves. He would tell the king that he witnessed the eruption but doesn't know what has become of the dwarves. The king would still doubt, but the gryphon's tale would ascertain his own and inform them of the whereabout of the Scepter, and the dwarves doom.
Agreed again. Remember though, Krawg is now a gryphon rider (and the dwarf who rides the bird does the talking) which may cause a problem here. I'm not sure how important it is that the one who witnessed the scepter's completion can go tell everybody about it. Currently Krawg tells the king and then probably goes and lives in the mountains with his fellow birds and never talks to anybody ever again. But many have stated how cheezy the whole idea of Krawg is in the in first place. So, now he's Peldruth who can tell the king and then most likely tell all of his dwarvish friends when he returns to his home, but wouldn't that make more people know about the scepter and thus more people would go searching for it long before Konrad's time? I was thinking either King Haldric should request that the dwarf keeps his mouth shut, or Peldruth gets severely injured in the volcano and dies shortly after he tells the king what he knows (but how believable would that be?). I don't know, maybe it's not even that important? I mean, maybe we want more people to know about so it'll be even more legendary: Many dwarves searched for the scepter over the years but none could ever find it!
LordBob wrote:Fifth, Alanin's motivation. Remember, at the end of scenario 6 he is actually intent on coming back with troops to rescue the dwarves and break the elves' siege. Yet not a word of this is said once he meets the king. The dialog would feel more plausible if Alanin first asked the king to gather a rescue force, and then was interrupted by the arrival of the Gryphon Rider.
We are in agreement once again.
LordBob wrote:Sixth, the legend of the Sceptre. Alanin advises the king..."to do nothing"? Speak of commitment! He's lived with the dwarves for fifteen years, waiting for the sceptre to be completed, became their comrade if not their friend, and yet he's content to let things rest ? That's not how legends are born. The artifact would become legend precisely because everyone searched for it in vain. Maybe it would feel more heroic (and plausible) if Alanin volunteered to lead a search party, with the possible help of the Gryphon Rider. Unless the king would order him to do so; that's the very least he deserves for this epic failure... (how else do you call losing the kingdom's symbol and most powerful artifact ?) Cue the narrator, who explains how the Sceptre wouldn't be found before several centuries, but it entered into legend and so on.
If I was Halrdic, I know the first thing I'd want to do is send somebody to go look for that scepter! Maybe he spends the rest of his rule searching for it and it's not until his death that the scepter begins to be forgotten. From there, it would become legendary.

In other news I'm still working on scenario 4. And I have some interesting plans for scenario 5 and 6 so I'm looking forward to working on them :)
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

Just finished Scenario 4! Can't attach it to the first post though, so it'll be here. There's not a whole lot of dialog in this scenario so I don't really have much to comment on.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

There isn't much to say about this one, save for 2 minor typos:
- Unless this is an old english phrasing, Baglur's second line should read "...And my memory ain't what it used to be."
- Rugnur's second line would read better if the comma before "this could take longer" were replaced with a semicolon.

Other than that, it does its job well.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Daravel »

Just jumping in to say that "ain't" isn't actually a word. Although it is common in English slang, the proper word is "is not" or "isn't".
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

LordBob wrote:There isn't much to say about this one, save for 2 minor typos:
- Unless this is an old english phrasing, Baglur's second line should read "...And my memory ain't what it used to be."
- Rugnur's second line would read better if the comma before "this could take longer" were replaced with a semicolon.

Other than that, it does its job well.
Thanks, fixed.
Daravel wrote:Just jumping in to say that "ain't" isn't actually a word. Although it is common in English slang, the proper word is "is not" or "isn't".
Yes, but Baglur speaks with a heavy accent and a little slang comes with it to give him some character.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

And here's scenario 5 (the talk-only one). I didn't like the fact that they spent two years mining in the cave - would it really take THAT long to get enough gold and coal to make a scepter? But I'm not sure what the plan is for the timeline so I didn't make any real changes to it.

It's been said that they're going to make the timeline longer than it is, but I think that if anything it should be shortened. Twenty-five years is a really long time for Haldric to wait; wouldn't he send someone to make sure everything's OK after waiting about ten years? And while I'm on the subject, I don't remember exactly how long they're trapped in the Shorbear caves but I remember thinking that it also felt waaay to long.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

Maybe we should establish the entire campaign timeline right now, lest more confusion will arise from our writing.

Either way, there's always a possibility to explain those long years. For example, Rugnur's being a rather small clan and the Knalga a darn big mountain, we could suggest that when Durnstorn decides to take part in the Shorbear expedition, he takes the entire clan with him. This would make more plausible the long stay in the Shorbear caves (the dwarves have their families and stuff with them - more difficult to slip through the siege, easier to survive it), and when Haldric's envoy reaches the clan's homeland, all he finds is closed doors and empty caves. A good cause to worry.

Another element to account for is that good craftsmanship always takes time. For instance, upon receiving the plans, the jeweler could easily spend a couple of months cutting the lesser stones before tackling the Ruby and coming to a stop. And I wouldn't mind if cutting the ruby itself lasted several years.

Speaking of the Ruby, the notion that it has to be cut merely "to fit in the sceptre" gives it a mundane feel it shouldn't have. Being a stone of power that incidentally drives people crazy, there could be a causal link between the way it's cut and the harnessing of its power. We could even suggest that cutting it without a good plan is hazardous; which is where Thursagan's and Theganli's genius comes in, and would explain the extra-long cutting time, what with all those precautions to avoid losing the jeweler to a missed tap of a hammer.


I'll work on the timeline when I have more...Time. So likely tonight.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

Me again. As promised, I wrote a detailed timeline for the campaign. I've mentionned when necessary the scenarios in which events take place; not everything has to be shown to the player, though: some of these events can be mentionned in the story dialog between two scenarios, or told later by another character. Here, I'm merely trying to set up a coherent backstory.

All in all, my gut feeling is that even with a detailed timeline, 15 years feels stretched. We could easily shrink it down to 10-12, unless we throw in new story elements or double the crafting / mining / traveling durations.
Spoiler:
Edit: a few additionnal comments to clarify the changes I am proposing to introduce towards the end of the story.
- In Towards the caves, the dwarves would not be setting for the mines on a whim, but because they now have a purpose.
- In The dragon, the dwarves know of the forge and are actively looking for it, whereas in the current storyline they stumble over it on a stroke of luck...
- Having left the dwarves months before, Alanin doesn't know wether the Sceptre is complete by the time he reaches Weldyn. He's only aware of Thursagan's plan to find the forge, and will learn the rest of the story when the Gryphon reaches Weldyn (which should happen several days after his own arrival, and not within a matter of minutes)
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Pewskeepski »

Thanks for the timeline!
LordBob wrote:All in all, my gut feeling is that even with a detailed timeline, 15 years feels stretched. We could easily shrink it down to 10-12, unless we throw in new story elements or double the crafting / mining / traveling durations.
I agree. And aside from from the long time-period of mining, I feel that 9 years is to long for them to be trapped inside the Shobear caves; would it really take the elves that long to break in? I'd image they would call for reinforcements after a while of failing. I definitely like the idea of having dwarves come to the rescue and failing epically. Maybe add a new scenario after scenario 6 showing the dwarves coming from the north attempting to save their fellow comrades who are resisting the elves at the gates? I think another scenario would make the timeline more believable, but adding a whole new scenario could possibly be more work than necessary, and also might make the rest of the campaign unbalanced. We could just rewrite the story part to tell what goes on during the many years they spend in the caves. Anyway, how about they spend 2 years cutting the ruby and 1 year crafting the body of the scepter. This would cut it down by 3 years making it 6 years total.
LordBob wrote:- In Towards the caves, the dwarves would not be setting for the mines on a whim, but because they now have a purpose.
I had no problem with them entering the caves with absolutely no idea of what's inside but...
LordBob wrote:- In The dragon, the dwarves know of the forge and are actively looking for it, whereas in the current storyline they stumble over it on a stroke of luck...
...I did not like them getting lucky enough to find some random forge buried beneath the earth (that is also childishly 'owned' by a dragon, btw). So this new idea of them knowing there's a forge works very well. Once Thursagan completes the scepter the dwarves come to the obvious conclusion that they can't get out the way they came and must go deeper into the caves which then leads them to the center of the volcano.
LordBob wrote:- Having left the dwarves months before, Alanin doesn't know wether the Sceptre is complete by the time he reaches Weldyn. He's only aware of Thursagan's plan to find the forge, and will learn the rest of the story when the Gryphon reaches Weldyn (which should happen several days after his own arrival, and not within a matter of minutes)
Agreed.

Here's an update of the jeweler. I forgot to mention that the jeweler cuts more gems and not just the ruby, so I changed the narrator's part. But I'd like to emphasize in a more believable way that time passes between the beginning and the end of this scenario. It's really hard to follow the way it is.
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by taptap »

Isn't one main issue of the whole story how the sceptre that is engulfed by the lava can be found later at all? This is so completely outlandish... To take the dialog seriously we need to have an explanation for that, no?
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by LordBob »

@ taptap: absolutely. To be honest, it's the one thing still bothering me. We're pretty much done on every other aspect, but saving the Sceptre while still having everyone else die is one mean task.

@pewskeepski: I'm not so much worried by the long stay in the caves: ten years to craft the finest artifact ever isn't too much. The way I understand wesnothian dwarves, they're self-sufficient once entrenched in their caves. Sure, meat and fruits are scarce and one had better not be subject to fungus intolerance...But if they survive the first two years, the next ten aren't going to be a problem. Besides, dwarves are used to living indoors.
However, you're right that this such a long siege will feel wrong if we let the player think that both sides remained idle. Plus, we can't have the dwarves, having remained trapped for nearly ten years, suddenly pull off something they could have done all along.
My proposition: we could have the narrator (or a story dialog between scenarios) mention some of the hardships and attempts that may or may not take place.
- the aforementionned dwarven rescue attempt
- the elves bring in Wose allies to breach the doors, but fail / are repelled
- the dwarves attempt to dig tunnels beyond the enemy lines for supplies / an escape route
- or we simply tell how the siege was epic, but this is a different story.

Either way, the elves will eventually settle, let off their guard and leave only minimum troops in a series of outpost; which would later allow the dwarves to escape, whereas they couldn't when the entire army was stationned in the hills.

Edit: added a review of scenario 5
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Wesbane
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Re: SoF: Dialog & storyline revision.

Post by Wesbane »

Typos in first post:
First of all: as far as only story revision is concerned original tactical concept should be preserved. That is Alanin is not involved in combat in underground scenarios
Pewskeepski wrote:This dialog makes Alanin stay with you for the scenario (not sure if this is a balance issue?) because I never thought it believable that he (a human on horseback in a cave) would be able to go and warn the council.
This was never the case. Original dialogue from cutscene In the Dwarven City make this clear:
In fact sending Alanin away to warn dwarven council is quite reasonable decision.
  • 1. He is important person since he represents his king. Also Alanin death would give Durnstorn right to actually banish Rugnur for his incompetence. As such he need to be protected and there is no better way to protect someone than sending him to safe location. There is no safer location then dwarven city.
    2. It is better to have trusted kinsmen, then some human warrior who doesn't know anything about fight and especially fight in underground.
    3. Rugnur at beginning of scenario even do not believe that he can win. So letting Alanin stay has no sense.
    4. Sending him away is a win, win deal. If he will warn council its fantastic. If not well at least he will be safe.
..
The only thing that needed to be changed to avoid misinterpretation is to add line for Rugnur commenting on Alanin departure. This must occur before Balgur shows up...
It could be something like this:
Anyway even in revised version Alanin is late again what makes him and Rugnur look somewhat special...
Pewskeepski wrote:The only other real difference is that Thursagan doesn't say anything when he reaches the caves; nothing I wrote really fit, and it seemed unnecessary.
Do characters in game need say only things worth crafting in stone? I doubt.
Pewskeepski wrote:So, now he's Peldruth who can tell the king and then most likely tell all of his dwarvish friends when he returns to his home, but wouldn't that make more people know about the scepter and thus more people would go searching for it long before Konrad's time? I was thinking either King Haldric should request that the dwarf keeps his mouth shut, or Peldruth gets severely injured in the volcano and dies shortly after he tells the king what he knows (but how believable would that be?). I don't know, maybe it's not even that important? I mean, maybe we want more people to know about so it'll be even more legendary: Many dwarves searched for the scepter over the years but none could ever find it!
If you do not want that another available option is making him crack-brained after such experience as witnessing volcano eruption. If you think that this is too incredible because dwarfs are so resilient even mentally. Well he could be a bit strange before. But that's of course up to you.
Pewskeepski wrote:Can't attach it to the first post though, so it'll be here.
Just use dropbox if this is a trouble.
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