Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
At the siege of Antioch, it was recorded that the crusaders would eat the dung of the donkeys, with the officers getting dibs on the undigested seeds. Bear in mind the majority of cannibalism took place in side of the city, where there was nothing to do but stare at the guy sitting next to you for several months until one died of hunger and contributed to the soup pot. I would say that the refugee camps may have better chances than a city, and plenty of foraging was still available. Of course I'm pretty sure that there would still be a dab of cannibalism here and there, but people chowing down on each other first chance may not happen that soon.battlestar wrote:Reply to Tr0ll
Guys I never thought I'd come back to this forum after 8 years this is wild
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Older post to Boldek
Couple of things:
1. Title:
2. Fix out cannibalism:
Part 2:
It was magnificent inside the city. Magic danced in the air while armed soldiers hurried about. A group of city guards introduced themselves to Valia and Skarbod, explaining that only children and capable fighters were let into the city, where they are expected to be of service to the city’s defense.
One of the guards led the two to their captain. The captain introduces Valia and Skarbod to a task board, filled with low priority tasks. By the captain's orders they were to undertake the tasks of their choosing.
Part 3:
Days had gone by, and there was no sign of Valia’s grandfather in the city. Having just returned from an exhausting errand, Valia strolled slowly in the night breeze to relax her mind. She thought about her grandfather, her old friends, and the tower city where she lived in. Valia closed her eyes, and immersed herself in the warmth of her memories.
A gigantic explosion shook Valia awake. She looked up, and saw fire and smoke dancing triumphantly over the main tower of the city. While distracted by the sudden event, a cloaked man rammed into her. Shaking off bewilderment, Valia found herself being carried off by the man. She struggled, yet no movement came to her muscles. Shear terror overcame her. Behind the cloaked man, ground shook and split open. Tongues of flame peeked out from the cracked earth and licked the air. The world was falling apart all around them.
4. Further story modifications:
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I would advice to shorten the parts considerably. Even after 10 maps human orcish conflict you will have an endless recall list, most 20 map campaigns need to introduce some effects (walking scenarios with limited recruits, recall list resets, quasi resets due to totally different terrain) to keep it manageable, with all the special abilities of L3+ available it is terribly hard to balance towards the end of what usually is considered a long campaign (15+ scenarios), your campaign likely goes up to 100.Right now it's divided into
Demo: 1 spell system introduction map
Prologue: Fall of towers city, ascend to surface. (5 maps plus 1 random encounter map)
Part 1: finding wizard city, arrival of demons, escape (4 maps)
Part 2: human and orkish conflict (~30 maps to make), and the long journey (10 maps)
Part 3: distant elven kingdom, destruction of human empires.
Part 4: Track the dwarves, discover troglodytes
Part 5: Descend to hell
Part 6: rebellion against heaven
Part 7: demonic civil war
I am a Saurian Skirmisher: I'm a real pest, especially at night.
- battlestar
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Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
to Taptap
Please tell me what you guys think.Despite their efforts, undead gathered around the city, and soon the surrounding lands were crawling with death.
The sea of forest before the city rippled, concealing the movements of the undead horde within. A thin veil of dust rose among the trees and swirled atop the trees. The city defenders stood fast, gripping their weaponry tighter and tighter, eyes unblinking. The air was without a single breeze. With every breath, the soldiers tasted decay and rot. With every movement, they swam in an ocean of muck.
From the center of the city, a blue light flickered and ignited. The blue light burned in the air, cleansing the defenders from their suffocating terror.
The rippling forest shivered in response, and the gentle waves became raging tides beating against the tree lines.
P.S. I'm stopping here for a while in terms of new parts, going to do overhaul of older parts. Much appreciated for anyone who lend a helping hand.
- Grammars: Known problems are presence of present tenses in a past tense story; unclarity in who some pronouns are referring to. Etc.
- Content: Inappropriate metaphors, and incomplete descriptions. Repetitive phrases. Etc.
- Story: Kind of OK with the story as is, if anyone has ideas please don't hesitate.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Is this the city in fear of the demons?
I like your reference as the undead like an ocean. It's pretty poetic.
p.s: This won't help with the plot, but I thought of a combat mechanism. Maybe you could have mages stand at certain tower spots to sort of man magical artilery spots?
I like your reference as the undead like an ocean. It's pretty poetic.
p.s: This won't help with the plot, but I thought of a combat mechanism. Maybe you could have mages stand at certain tower spots to sort of man magical artilery spots?
Guys I never thought I'd come back to this forum after 8 years this is wild
- battlestar
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- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
last post
2. Stuck on this one (in all seriousness): What argument can a bunch of underground ogres have with a gigantic piece of rock, which they have worshipped as a god for as long as they remember?
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Maybe they've finally realized that it isn't answering their prayers, and now they're angry that their ungrateful god doesn't seem to care about them or appreciate their devotion? Or maybe they converted to a new faith - every rising religion always demonizes whatever was practised before, why would ogres be any different?
Nothing is true; everything is permissible.
- battlestar
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- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Looking for something more towards silly, mad, unexpected... something completely comical, something that could happen in the Wonderland.
Your idea is good but for this setting, it's making too much sense...
Here's an example of the type of thing I'm looking for:
Your idea is good but for this setting, it's making too much sense...
Here's an example of the type of thing I'm looking for:
A regiment of solders from the city-state of Modena invaded Bologna to steal a brown, oak bucket. During the raid, several hundred Bolognese citizens were killed by the Modenese troops. The ensuing war lasted 12 years. Modena won, and still has the bucket. It's still on display in Modena's cathedral tower, the "Ghirlandina".
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Ogres recently got a new chief or high priest/shaman. When he was formally crowned/ordained/whatever, he gave a speech in which he offered a traditional formal greeting to the rock. The rock, obviously, did not give the traditional reply, which the ogre took as a grave insult. Over the next few days, he repeatedly demanded an apology from the rock (ogres aren't very clever, and maybe he's also worried about losing face by allowing the insult to go unanswered). Predictably, the rock ignores all his demands. Finally, the ogre loses his temper, forgets that the rock is supposed to be a god, and headbutts it. The rock doesn't care at all, but the ogre suffers massive brain damage and later dies. His son, seeing a chance to seize power, attempt to unite the other ogres under his leadership. To do this, he declares that the rock has murdered his father and must be punished. He holds the ogre version of a murder trial, at which the rock obviously refuses to comment. He finds the rock guilty of contempt of court and murder, and sentences it to death.
Executing a rock is a tricky business, and every time he tries to damage it he just ends up hurting himself and looking stupid. Gradually he becomes paranoid that the rock is out to sabotage his 'political career', and he becomes increasingly unstable and deranged. The other ogres are now confused enough, and sufficiently scared of their leader's violent temper, that they don't question his judgement when he declares war on the rock.
Silly enough?
Executing a rock is a tricky business, and every time he tries to damage it he just ends up hurting himself and looking stupid. Gradually he becomes paranoid that the rock is out to sabotage his 'political career', and he becomes increasingly unstable and deranged. The other ogres are now confused enough, and sufficiently scared of their leader's violent temper, that they don't question his judgement when he declares war on the rock.
Silly enough?
Nothing is true; everything is permissible.
- battlestar
- Posts: 690
- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
Brilliant.
Got another one for a talking snake that was almost eaten by the same ogres, then later escaped after losing its fangs somehow?
Got another one for a talking snake that was almost eaten by the same ogres, then later escaped after losing its fangs somehow?
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
The snake was caught by the ogres, who had planned to eat it. But it was smarter than them, and put off being cooked for many days by distracting them with stories, confusing them with riddles and paradoxes, and presenting logical arguments which the ogres weren't clever enough to fid fault with. Eventually, the snake talked them into taking it off the menu and giving it a position of power, which led to it being chosen for the first attempt at executing the rock. The snake, obviously, knew this wasn't going to work, but he went along with it because he didn't want to upset his new friends.
When the day of execution came, the snake was made to bite the rock, which obviously didn't go well. Its fangs broke and fell out, but the clever snake took advantage of the ogres' stupidity to trick them. It persuaded them that poisonous fangs lying around on the floor were a public health risk, and convinced them that every single one of them must drop whatever they were doing to find the dangerous teeth and make sure they were safely disposed of. While they were thus occupied, the snake slithered away right under their noses, laughing so hard that its sides literally split and it shed its skin on the way out.
When the day of execution came, the snake was made to bite the rock, which obviously didn't go well. Its fangs broke and fell out, but the clever snake took advantage of the ogres' stupidity to trick them. It persuaded them that poisonous fangs lying around on the floor were a public health risk, and convinced them that every single one of them must drop whatever they were doing to find the dangerous teeth and make sure they were safely disposed of. While they were thus occupied, the snake slithered away right under their noses, laughing so hard that its sides literally split and it shed its skin on the way out.
Nothing is true; everything is permissible.
- battlestar
- Posts: 690
- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Crimson Sea [campaign storyline]
I especially like the ending there. I'll make some minor adjustments and Scenario 4'll have a very interesting story line thanks to you. Originally it might've been a go from point A to B and kill some stuff, but now I can't wait to see how every thing will play out (I'll have a pretty good idea fairly soon).
3/12:
Story revision, Prologue 1:
Valia was a human girl, fair skinned and spirited. The tallest spire in a city of towers was her home, where she lived with with her grandfather Nizbaf. Valia and Nizbaf made a loving family, though only grandfather and grand daughter. Nizbaf taught Valia magic, who was an apt learner. Valia was happy and surrounded by friends, though much of her younger years had been lost to her since a traumatic accident.
The sun set, but the tower city was still buzzing with life. Valia's close friends came to her dwelling, and dragged her off to plan pranks on their neighbors. Among Valia's friends, there was a young orc, Skarbod, who’s almost too handsome to be an orc. Though a charming face, the orc had kept it under a mask of constant gloom. Another of Valia's friend was a young dwarf girl, Lila, whose smile was always brighter than the sun. And last but not least, there was Glani, a rowdy human boy who had Valia's heart racing, though the boy was too busy wrecking things to be aware of her thoughts.
Such a peaceful morning... simply divine... no explosions... No explosions? Valia opened her eyes, the shroud of drowsiness ripped away. Grandpa’s experiments had always woken her up in the morning, Valia thought. She wondered if her grandfather had finally given up his impossible inventions. Lazily dressed, Valia entered the dining room to seek breakfast, where some warm waffles had been waiting for her presence. Mmm. Waffles, her favorite... A letter tucked under the plate caught Valia's attention.
It was a letter from Valia's grandfather. He had once again left for a long journey, and this time, it sounded like a very important task. Shrugging, Valia thought that there would be enough things to do to keep her distracted.
One year passed, grandfather had not returned. Valia was lonely, even with all her friends by her side.
Spoiler:
3/12:
Story revision, Prologue 1:
Valia was a human girl, fair skinned and spirited. The tallest spire in a city of towers was her home, where she lived with with her grandfather Nizbaf. Valia and Nizbaf made a loving family, though only grandfather and grand daughter. Nizbaf taught Valia magic, who was an apt learner. Valia was happy and surrounded by friends, though much of her younger years had been lost to her since a traumatic accident.
The sun set, but the tower city was still buzzing with life. Valia's close friends came to her dwelling, and dragged her off to plan pranks on their neighbors. Among Valia's friends, there was a young orc, Skarbod, who’s almost too handsome to be an orc. Though a charming face, the orc had kept it under a mask of constant gloom. Another of Valia's friend was a young dwarf girl, Lila, whose smile was always brighter than the sun. And last but not least, there was Glani, a rowdy human boy who had Valia's heart racing, though the boy was too busy wrecking things to be aware of her thoughts.
Such a peaceful morning... simply divine... no explosions... No explosions? Valia opened her eyes, the shroud of drowsiness ripped away. Grandpa’s experiments had always woken her up in the morning, Valia thought. She wondered if her grandfather had finally given up his impossible inventions. Lazily dressed, Valia entered the dining room to seek breakfast, where some warm waffles had been waiting for her presence. Mmm. Waffles, her favorite... A letter tucked under the plate caught Valia's attention.
It was a letter from Valia's grandfather. He had once again left for a long journey, and this time, it sounded like a very important task. Shrugging, Valia thought that there would be enough things to do to keep her distracted.
One year passed, grandfather had not returned. Valia was lonely, even with all her friends by her side.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
- battlestar
- Posts: 690
- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
Veil of vast blue stripped away,
Leaving a shroud, color of clay.
A false life will, someday betray,
Hollowing a void where heart beamed ray.
My first poem ever and as the ending words to prologue section. Suggestions welcome. There are seven beats to each verse.
Leaving a shroud, color of clay.
A false life will, someday betray,
Hollowing a void where heart beamed ray.
My first poem ever and as the ending words to prologue section. Suggestions welcome. There are seven beats to each verse.
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed
Re: Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
In the real world I'm a writer, so I tend to instinctively proofread and reword everything I read. Reading your poem, I came up with this:battlestar wrote:Veil of vast blue stripped away,
Leaving a shroud, color of clay.
A false life will, someday betray,
Hollowing a void where heart beamed ray.
Ocean-blue veil, torn away -
What remains, as dull as clay.
Soulless heart itself betrays,
Far from Life's all-healing rays.
No disrespect meant to you, as I realize that English may not be your first language. I found your choice of words very poetic and powerful, but the grammar is at first a little hard to understand.
Nothing is true; everything is permissible.
- battlestar
- Posts: 690
- Joined: January 1st, 2007, 7:12 am
Re: Scarlet Sea [campaign storyline]
Nice poem! However, my poem was misleading. Would you mind making a new version that focuses on the theme: discovery of living a false life, and things are not as they seem? I was trying to describe how valia saw the illusion of sky recede from the cave wall and realized that she had been living inside a huge lie. She was especially mad at her friend skarbod for knowing the truth but keeping it from her. From that point on, valia left behind the joyful days with her "friends and family".
Thanks!
Thanks!
LUA: Llama Under Apprenticeship
Hell faction: completed
Hell faction: completed