Storyline theme...

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Rain
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Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » August 11th, 2008, 12:44 am

Here's a piece I wrote before the 'great crash'. :D

I didn't really get any feedback back on it at the time so I will be interested to hear what you guys have to say about it. :)

http://www.allacrost.org/staff/user/rai ... spense.mp3

Let me know what you guys think.

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doofus-01
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by doofus-01 » August 12th, 2008, 2:01 pm

It seemed a bit meandering to me. Nothing really wrong that I could tell, but nothing held my attention either. Maybe it could work as a scenario introduction track? (EDIT: Ah, I guess that's why you called it a "storyline theme")

Sorry that's not much of a critique, but at least the crickets are gone. The other one you did, which I think got committed before the crash, is great.

Rain
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » August 13th, 2008, 2:47 am

doofus-01 wrote:It seemed a bit meandering to me. Nothing really wrong that I could tell, but nothing held my attention either. Maybe it could work as a scenario introduction track? (EDIT: Ah, I guess that's why you called it a "storyline theme")

Sorry that's not much of a critique, but at least the crickets are gone. The other one you did, which I think got committed before the crash, is great.
... cricket, cricket.

bwaha. So yea. Thanks!

I am getting some good feedback regarding how many of my pieces aren't bad but aren't good either but I am really not getting too much feedback detailing why THAT might be. I can't quite figure out whether or not it's a product of the actual music or the orchestration or the mixing... Thanks for checking out the piece though.

I am very happy you like the most current battle theme. :)

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doofus-01
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by doofus-01 » August 13th, 2008, 2:27 pm

I am really not getting too much feedback detailing why THAT might be. I can't quite figure out whether or not it's a product of the actual music or the orchestration or the mixing...
I'm reluctant to be too specific because I'm not a musician, but I can say that I don't think it's a production quality issue. Nothing sounded cheap or tinny, but I couldn't really pick out a structure or tell where this was going. Maybe the piece is too cerebral (for what it's worth, most jazz is over my head as well).

Rain
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » August 21st, 2008, 6:44 pm

DOH! I wasn't intending for the piece to be so difficult to listen to.

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gmlion
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by gmlion » August 21st, 2008, 11:44 pm

I like it. I think it would work perfectly for a suspence track. but I can also understand what doofus says. I think it's because the second half seems to be atonal, and it tends to confuse the casual listener. While the general feeling is right, perhaps there could be some more tonal, if not melodic, parts breaking the second half and giving the casual listener (the gamer) something he's more used to.
ciao
Gianmarco

Rain
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » August 23rd, 2008, 9:24 pm

gmlion wrote:I like it. I think it would work perfectly for a suspence track. but I can also understand what doofus says. I think it's because the second half seems to be atonal, and it tends to confuse the casual listener. While the general feeling is right, perhaps there could be some more tonal, if not melodic, parts breaking the second half and giving the casual listener (the gamer) something he's more used to.
ciao
Gianmarco
Interesting comments and thanks for checking out the piece. There is really is no part of the piece that is a-tonal as many of the chords resolve. Definitely dissonant and dangerous sounding though.

I really didn't make this track with the casual listener in mind. I wanted to make something somewhat unsettling that would make the average person feel somewhat uncomfortable with the harmonic content. Whether or not this is going to work for Wesnoth, I really have no idea. Thanks for the suggestions.

It'd be nice if I could get a few additional sources of feedback to let me know what the problem is.

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gmlion
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by gmlion » August 24th, 2008, 8:11 am

I really didn't make this track with the casual listener in mind. I wanted to make something somewhat unsettling that would make the average person feel somewhat uncomfortable with the harmonic content.
You did it :-)

Perhaps there is a difference between the first half and the second half, because i find the first one less dissonant. It could be the second half with some less dissonance in some parts or you also could make the whole piece dissonant.
Btw, they are only suggestions if you plan to modify this piece. I think it's working pretty well also as it is now.
ciao
Gianmarco

Rain
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » August 29th, 2008, 5:20 am

gmlion wrote:
I really didn't make this track with the casual listener in mind. I wanted to make something somewhat unsettling that would make the average person feel somewhat uncomfortable with the harmonic content.
You did it :-)

Perhaps there is a difference between the first half and the second half, because i find the first one less dissonant. It could be the second half with some less dissonance in some parts or you also could make the whole piece dissonant.
Btw, they are only suggestions if you plan to modify this piece. I think it's working pretty well also as it is now.
ciao
Gianmarco
I could make the whole piece dissonant, but then I wouldn't be accomplishing what I set out to do with the harmonic contrast. The piece is more consistent in it's form than it sounds. :) I think there are a few unwieldy moments perhaps where it seems to fragment, which is simply an introduction to a counter theme. At the end of this phrase, it goes back into the main theme in a more robust string quartet format. It's a little difficult to conceptualize with some of the melodic, harmonic interplay but I really believe the piece could work pretty well in the right setting...

Where that would be, is beyond me. :shock: :lol2:

Thanks for the comments, mate

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Mica
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Mica » August 29th, 2008, 5:37 am

It's mostly nice, it's just I don't like how slow it moves, even sad / mild songs can move faster than this. I know it's not generally supposed to keep my attention, but I think it should a little more than it does now. I only think a minor raise in speed would be good though.

Also, I don't like how loud the violins get, (if that's the right instrument) it just seems a bit off to me.

Lastly, I don't think this piece should use what I think is two songs merged together, it just seems like some time frames (I can't see the seconds or I'd tell you) are going a different way than other parts. It sounds OK, but I think it would be better if it followed the same path all the way through.

Sorry if I don't make myself clear enough.

But really, honestly, overall it sounds very nice! Great job, I'm really glad you're working for Wesnoth. :D
Mica says one who cheats, cheats himself.

You are an Elvish Shyde - Beautiful, natural, and helpful, though sometimes under-appreciated.

Rain
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Re: Storyline theme...

Post by Rain » September 2nd, 2008, 12:34 am

Thanks for the feedback Mica. I think I'll go back at some point and rewrite that secondary melody to show a bit more consistency towards the main theme. It's not quite working at the moment. Thanks for letting me know!
Mica wrote:It's mostly nice, it's just I don't like how slow it moves, even sad / mild songs can move faster than this. I know it's not generally supposed to keep my attention, but I think it should a little more than it does now. I only think a minor raise in speed would be good though.

Also, I don't like how loud the violins get, (if that's the right instrument) it just seems a bit off to me.

Lastly, I don't think this piece should use what I think is two songs merged together, it just seems like some time frames (I can't see the seconds or I'd tell you) are going a different way than other parts. It sounds OK, but I think it would be better if it followed the same path all the way through.

Sorry if I don't make myself clear enough.

But really, honestly, overall it sounds very nice! Great job, I'm really glad you're working for Wesnoth. :D

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