Search found 495 matches

by A-Red
September 6th, 2010, 9:25 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Tairach: You! The mage who scarred me with fire! KILL THEM! You've answered a lot of questions with your rewrite, but new questions arise. Since Tairach arranged for Bjarn's capture, why is he not there to gloat over the capture? What are his plans for Bjarn, just kill him or something else? Why do...
by A-Red
September 6th, 2010, 9:16 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Missing in-game race descriptions in the BfW help.
Replies: 48
Views: 5747

Re: Missing in-game race descriptions in the BfW help.

Like I said 99% of what I did was simply remove commas or shuffle other punctuation into where you were using commas to hold things together. You have heavily overused and misused that particular piece of punctuation. However, if you're happy I don't care. My opening comment, "no zealot like a conv...
by A-Red
September 5th, 2010, 6:53 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

I've been back over the whole thing using many of the suggestions made (all edits made to the original posts). There are a couple of bits of dialogue I'm still thinking about, but overall I think I've worked out the kinks.
by A-Red
September 5th, 2010, 3:31 am
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: Missing in-game race descriptions in the BfW help.
Replies: 48
Views: 5747

Re: Missing in-game race descriptions in the BfW help.

Great stuff! I'm glad someone is finally doing this. A few nitpicks: -You might want to avoid introducing the name Irdya into the manual; it isn't used elsewhere. -Clarify that Saurians stand at the height of a ten-year-old *human* child; in this setting you can't take it for granted. -Mainline does...
by A-Red
September 5th, 2010, 2:59 am
Forum: Art Workshop
Topic: Promised Land | Goblin Campaign (1.8): Art Thread
Replies: 182
Views: 28083

Re: Promised Land | Goblin Campaign (1.8): Art Thread

Caercyn's head was pretty poorly shaded, and it was bothering me more and more. Here's a new version, which is hopefully a significant improvement--it looks that way to me, at least.
by A-Red
September 5th, 2010, 1:38 am
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Rougher dialogue is fantastic, but that doesn't mean it needs to be more modern. That being said, it's probably something you'd need significant help on (or research). I certainly don't know the 'slang' from that set of time periods. Using archaic slang is probably not a good idea--it'd be lost on ...
by A-Red
September 5th, 2010, 12:49 am
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

I'll take a lot of those suggestions, but a couple of quick points: Darker_Dreams: the training at Alduin was in magical arts and had nothing to do with leadership or combat tactics, so I'm not sure what point you're trying to make there. Bjarn is implying that he's a good weapon, but a weak leader....
by A-Red
September 4th, 2010, 10:00 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Epilogue Text 22 IX, 355 YW Excerpt from the journal of Arne of Maghre: Maghre is looking much better than the last time I saw it. Bjarn has done wonders in two years. The village is rebuilt, and the surrounding farmlands are restored and reoccupied. Despite my brother's worries our people have fac...
by A-Red
September 4th, 2010, 10:00 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Level 4 Pregame Text 27 V, 353 YW Excerpt from the journal of Bjarn of Maghre Almost home now. The last week has been full of mixed feelings for me--blissful and difficult by turns. It was wonderful to be out of that dungeon cell and in the sunlight again without the threat of death or worse hangin...
by A-Red
September 4th, 2010, 9:59 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Level 3 Pregame Text 19 IV, 353 YW Excerpt from the journal of Rotharik the Clanless The last of Mordak's servants arrived this morning bearing the news of his death, as well as a bundle so well-bound it was barely recognizable as a man. Mordak was always reckless. This whole desperate scheme was h...
by A-Red
September 4th, 2010, 9:58 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

Re: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Level 2 Pregame Text 16 V, 353 YW Excerpt from the journal of Arne of Maghre We've been searching three days for Bjarn, and turned up nothing. My best hunch was to head north into the borderlands, where the necromancer's minions could safely hide; everywhere else is more farmland. At first I though...
by A-Red
September 4th, 2010, 9:57 pm
Forum: Writers’ Forum
Topic: A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul
Replies: 22
Views: 3211

A Tale of Two Brothers: text overhaul

Hey all. I've been working on an overhaul of all the text in Two Brothers--the writing wasn't bad, but the story was only a skeleton, and had all sorts of unexplained holes--for instance, who are those orcs that just came out of nowhere, and why was Bjarn captured instead of killed? I wanted to try ...
by A-Red
August 30th, 2010, 2:48 am
Forum: Art Contributions
Topic: Ancient Lich Development
Replies: 185
Views: 42078

Re: Ancient Lich Development

As a general statement regarding plans, what we should probably shoot for is: 1] One fairly human-looking core design for the lich. It can, and probably should look unnaturally tall and gaunt, but other than that, no extra limbs/etc. This will be the "canonical/normal appearance". 2] Then, because ...
by A-Red
August 26th, 2010, 10:39 pm
Forum: Art Contributions
Topic: Ancient Lich Development
Replies: 185
Views: 42078

Re: Ancient Lich Development

Sure. I understand why there needs to be a meshing of ideas. I just don't think the *quantity* is a problem.
by A-Red
August 26th, 2010, 10:07 pm
Forum: Art Contributions
Topic: Ancient Lich Development
Replies: 185
Views: 42078

Re: Ancient Lich Development

I think I need to have a chat with jet about the methods to use for this before we go too much further. Specifically, to clarify whether we try to make every Ancient Lich unique in sprite and animation as well as portrait, or whether we go for a single generic sprite. The artist and gamer in me pre...